If there’s one thing in life that I am so proud of and grateful for, it’s being a mother to my son. I’d say this is the best thing I’ve had though it was not that easy. In my six years of single parenting, I’d say it is indeed a very hard job. I never wanted to be a single mom. When I found out I was pregnant at 23, I got really scared. I thought of it as an end to my dreams, that it was a career suicide. I wanted to pursue a lot of things in life and I planned to travel more but I felt I had to decide to end all of it and should start learning how it is to be a good mother. I had to work harder for my son. I had to raise him up the way he should be.
“Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.” (Proverbs 22:6).
In my journey as a single mom, there were a lot of times that I came to a point when I got so tired and miserable that I want to just give up. Those were the times when I didn’t know where to get the money for food so I had to deal with a can of sardines or a pack of noodles every day for a couple of months. I remember giving my son a sachet of Milo when he was a year older because I couldn’t afford buying him his milk. That time when I would wish I could bring him out on a date in the mall or buy him a toy that he likes. Those were the times when I had to hide with my son inside the room and pretend that we’re not home because our landlady was outside, asking for the rent. I had to keep wearing those old clothes and pair of shoes for years because my son’s needs come first. There were dreams I have forgotten because they seem so out of reach. There were aspiration and desires that I’ve pushed at the back door, things I have given up on even before I’ve started them.
It was not easy at all. But along this journey, I’ve learned to be grateful and to press on. I learned to choose to keep a bucket of gratitude regardless of the circumstances. Yes, it’s not easy to see through bad times, much less think of the positive. But no one has ever died by choosing to look at the brighter side. I had to tell myself not to give up, easier said than done, but it can be done.
God’s grace has been sustaining me all throughout these years. He has surrounded me with positive, supportive people and people who truly love me and my son. They are the people who encouraged me to persevere. They are the ones who took care of me when I’ve forgotten to take care of myself. They have helped me press way through hopeless situations and messy decisions. In that darkness, a beautiful lesson has been learned.
As I continue to seek God and depend on Him, He has not only guided me well in raising my son, but he has also given me open doors and opportunities to do the things which I thought have ended the moment I gave birth. My fears were unfounded. I’ve travelled to many places (and most of it was with my son). I’ve done the things that I’ve wanted to do before and these were way better than what I expected. And I am now pursuing those dreams that I thought won’t possibly happen, and this time, it’s with my son.
As I take a look back at my life, I’ve seen how far I’ve come, not only as a mother but as an individual too. I appreciate what I’ve gotten out of every difficulty in parenting. Waking up each morning with my son and preparing him for school or summer classes has always been one of the greatest things I look forward to everyday. Nothing compares to the joy in seeing him enjoying his childhood and pursuing the things he’s passionate with. His “I love you’s” with tight hugs and sweet kisses can’t be replaced with anything in this world. I just love being his mom!
Single parenting may only be for a season for me and this may soon end, and whatever God has prepared next, I will always embrace and be grateful of the beautiful lessons out of this.
Moms, gratitude for the uncertainty and the trials will bring you a tougher skin. You will be making better and wiser decisions. And it will mold you into becoming an exceptional individual, an exceptional parent. Be thankful. Everyday. Whether your life is the same mundane life that you’re living or you’re on the verge of a breakdown, be thankful. Be thankful of that blessing and joy that God has given you. Be thankful that God chose you and gave you the opportunity to raise that kid who will be used for His glory.
Choose to be grateful.
By:
Jenny Murillo
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