I had my share of good times with her, being eldest to the three siblings.
She was always present during the biggest events of my childhood. Growing up, I could not imagine not having my mom by my side, pressing my collar and fussing about how I look during communion, graduation from elementary to college. My classmates would tell me that I have a beautiful mom, and I would really feel awesome inside.
Our family business slowed down during the economic crisis in the late 90’s. With my sister and brother having yet to go to college at that time, we didn’t have a choice but to allow her to work as a caregiver abroad. It was difficult for us, losing that familiarity of a mother’s support. Oh how I wish I could have the luxury of just sharing a cup of coffee with her late at night, talking about stuff. But times were hard, she had to do the sacrifice. We later realized that if it was hard for us, it was doubly hard for her as well, without her children at her side in a foreign country, all by herself.
It took a long time for her to finally come home. We were all grown up when she did. I was working in a print company, my sister worked in a hotel and was about to get married and my brother was studying nursing and had lesser time to be in the house.
She admitted that she felt lonely as she recalled those the times when we were kids, when we were closer. She missed our activities and the times when we can easily approach her and talk to her about small stuff. She said that things have changed so much, her kids are all grown up. I was traveling a lot, my siblings were not in the house most of the time so all she did then was staying in the house and talk to a few of our neighbors.
She felt that we didn’t connect to her that much and finally when my sister moved out from the house after her wedding, she admitted that she missed us. I then embraced her and told her that we were just living the dreams she let us freely decide. And I thanked her for everything. She was happy to know about that and I stayed with her during breakfast, lunch and dinner.
They said that a child is never yours to keep. She was strong enough to hold on to her dreams for us, and we followed it for her, even if it has led us away from her. She relentlessly supported the ups and downs of our lives and still saves the best of herself for her family.
She no longer looks back at sad moments of missing us nor teach us the basic stuff like doing the laundry or shouting to us early in the morning that we’d be late for school or reminding us to go to church or brush or teeth or take a shower. Maybe she has finally come to terms that her kids are all grown up.
But I realized that even if kids change and they grow up, moms will always be the same. She is still the supportive, assertive person who is always there when we need her. She is the same mom who still cooks meals for us. She is still the same when she reminds us to pray and take care and gives us advices. During Sundays, we cook for her while she takes her rest and together, we eat meals with her 3 children and 3 grandchildren—my sister’s, maybe a reflection of how we used to be?
Hail to my Mama Carmen and to all working mothers! It is never easy and I am in awe and forever grateful of all her sacrifices. I still claim that she’s the best mom in my existence and though not regularly as much as I want to, I always bring the idea that when I have a cup of coffee in my hand, I am drinking coffee with her.
By:
Joseph Bontilao
iSTORYAn League of Writers
Happy Mothers’ Day, Mom! We love you!
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