Jokes; pampamilya

[anakin]

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Creators Syndicate - Al-Qaeda terror mastermind Osama bin Laden delivered his annual State of the Jihad address last night and immediately faced criticism that the speech was short on specifics and little more than a laundry list of vague threats.

Speaking from his cave in an undisclosed location in the mountainous region between Pakistan and Afghanistan, the world's most wanted man began his address with an upbeat assessment of the global jihad against the infidels.

"Friends, terrorists, extremists, and madmen," Mr. bin Laden began. "The state of the jihad is strong."

The al-Qaeda leader's 50-minute address was interrupted by applause at least 35 times, usually when Mr. bin Laden punctuated his remarks by saying, "Death to America."

Mr. bin Laden sounded themes that were familiar to audiences of previous State of the Jihad addresses, such as his warning that "Al-Qaeda must become less dependent on foreign sources of chaos."

As is his tradition, he also used the address to acknowledge several "heroes of the Jihad," including one terrorist, Sheikh Abu Hamza al-Muhajir, who risked his life by pulling another terrorist out of the path of a charging donkey.

But the al-Qaeda kingpin was in for some blistering criticism in the official response to the State of the Jihad address, which this year was delivered by opposition lunatic Hassan el-Medfaii.

"What we heard tonight was little more than 'stay the course,'" said Mr. el-Medfaii. "As a madman, I had to ask, 'where's the beef?'"

Elsewhere, Sen. John Kerry (D-Mass.) bowed out of the 2008 presidential race, stating, "I decided to run for president before I decided against it."

[WinFlo]

[anak79]

Si Erap nakabasag ng vase sa museum, lumapit ang babae sabi.

Lady: Naku sir more than 500 years old na po yang vase na yan,

erap: Hay salamat kala ko bago!!!

Lady: Naku sir, alam ho ba ninyo ang value nitong nabasag nyo?

erap: Alam mo miss, pag luma na tinatapon, hindi dinidisplay.
Pampasira lang yan ng view.
i got to go, bye!
Lady:

[lalee]

lol... uber!

[samsungster]

poor erap!!

[dieseldust]

c Erap man gyu'y malat-an ani basta jokes nga mga nagpakita'g binogo..hehehehehehe!
Paita Erap woi!

[anak79]

One day, Erap sees Pres. Ramos reading a book on logic.

Erap : Fidel, mahirap yata iyang binabasa mong libro.

Ramos : Hindi, logic lang ito, madali lang.

Erap : Ano ba yang logic na yan, hindi ko yata alam yan.

Ramos : Ganito lang yan, may aquarium ka ba sa bahay?

Erap : Oo.

Ramos : Kung may aquarium ka, eh di mahilig ka sa isda.

Erap : Oo.

Ramos : At kung mahilig ka sa isda, mahilig ka rin sa dagat.

Erap: Oo.

Ramos ; Eh di kung mahilig ka sa dagat, gusto mo pumupunta sa beach.

Erap : Oo.

Ramos : At kung mahilig kang pumunta sa beach, mahilig ka sa babaeng naka-bathing suit.

Erap : Oo.

Ramos : Eh kung mahilig ka sa mga seksing babaeng naka-bathing suit, >eh >>di >> > >lalakeng - lalaki ka.

Erap : Oo.

Ramos : Eh kung lalakeng - lalaki ka, eh di macho ka.

Erap : Oo.

Ramos : Kita mo na na, ganyan lang ang logic!

Erap : Okey pala yang logic na yan, ah!

The following day, Erap sees Maceda in the Senate. . .

Erap : Pare,Maceda, susubukan ko lang itong tinuro sa aking logic ni Ramos.

Maceda : Sige nga!

Erap : May aquarium ka ba sa bahay?

Maceda : Wala.

Erap : BAKLA! BAKLA! BAKLA!

[anak79]

Bata: Nay, unsay atong sud-an?

Inahan: Christmas tree ug lansang, Dong.

Bata: Ha, christmas tree ug lansang?

Inahan: Kamunggay ba, nga gisubakan ug buwad bulinaw

Bata: Ahhhh....

[anak79]

Maestra: Class, our lesson for today is Tagalog. Juan, use "ng" in a sentence. Gamitin ang salitang "ng" sa wastong pangungusap.

Juan: Maayong gabii, Nang.


Maestra: No Juan, thats wrong...
Okay just use "Canadian" in a sentence.

Juan: Mam, Magluto Canadian.


Maestra: (medyo galit na)
Juan this is not a joke lesson, warning juan!

Nauwawan si Juan, ug sa iyang hunahuna
kinahanglang nga matubag jud niya ug correct answer
si Mam.

Maestra: Juan, tagaan tikag simple word tarunga jud ni.
Use " dog" in a simple sentence juan.

Juan: yes, mam! ahemmm (clearing his throuat)
Nanay Dog Tatay.

Maestra: JUAN! GET OUT!

[miggz]

hahaha lol unsa gud nang sud-ana...