Merged: Jokes

[dark_side]

---

post your corniest jokes and win one sack of rice and a free trip to to ermita....

[dark_side]

the elephant ask the camel y is it that your tits is in your back? the camel reply... what a silly question with dick in his face.

[monrose29]

ANG MAGTI AYONG SANDRA OG PAQUITO.....

si sandra samtang nag mabdos sa lima ka buwan nga bunga sa ilang pagminahalay...

usa ka lawom nga kadlawon sa ilang pag pangatulog....
naka matngon si sandra og gipukaw dayon niya si paquito....

SANDRA: honey lami man ika on og mang-ga oyyy..
PAQUITO: honey sad oyyy kadlawon pa wala pay mangga.. karon..
SANDRA: sige bantay ka makuha an jud ko....

ni balikwas og bangon si paquito og nangita og kapalitan og manggaa.. kay hadlok lagi makuha an.... ta-ud2x nangayo na pud kini og la-in..

SANDRA: honey lami man ika on og saging oyyyy
PAQUITO: na unsa ka bag cgeg pangayo oyyyy... nga mingaw pa ka ayo wa tay kapalitan...
SANDRA: cge ka makuha an gali ko bantay jud ka...

ninglakaw dayon si paquito ug nangita og kapilitan og saging... pag abot niya na ngayo na pud kini og la-in...

SANDRA: honey lami man ika on og ta-e oyyyy.....
PAQUITO: nabu ang naka....... unsa gud ka.. nga ta-e man imong gi pa ngala....
SANDRA: cge jud reklamo jud makuha an gali ko.... bantay jud ka...

nalibang dayon si paquito og gihatag ang ta-e sa iyang asawa...

PAQUITO: ohhhhhh di- ara imong gipangayooooo
SANDRA: ayyyyyyyyy tunga ta anang duha og ka-on
PAQUITO: unsaaaaaa nabu ang nakaaaaa....
SANDRA: cge jud away jud pakig tunga nako makuha gali ko naaa......
PAQUITO: cgeee akong ning kan on ang katungaaa... gamay lang ha....
SANDRA: ayyyy hutda... na lang na gud... makuha an gali ko na.....



waaaaaaaaa hehehehehehhehe.... ta-e man jud......

[kaede]

Once upon a time there were two sperms swiming.

Sperm1: Hoy asa man ta padong ani?

Sperm2: Basta langoy lang diha gud.

Sperm1: diba adto man ta padung sa OVARY?

Sperm2: o nganu diay?

Sperm1: unya nganu dugay man kaayo ta naabot, nganu ang uban lagi dali
ra.

Sperm2: unsa ba ka uy, unsaon nato pag abot dayon sa ovary og dali
nga bag-o pa gani ta naabot sa ESOPHAGUS...

[munchkins 4u]

Reaction pag nawalan ng wallet
ADMU - ****! my credit cards are there
DLSU - shit! i have 5,000 bucks
UST - pare yung driver's license ko
AMA - punyemas, yung picture ni jolina!

Reaction after looking at a Sauna Showroom:
La salle - ganda ng #69
UP - ok si 74
UST - yun magaling sa kama
ADMU - #8 nagbi-BJ
AMA - shit alis na tayo si #1 ate ko

[munchkins 4u]

Reaction of students to BMW
Ateneo - may dad has one like that
DLSU - Dad buy me naman that
UP - Dad, that is not worth buying
UST - wow, dad, cool car
AMA - itay pakodak tayo sa tabi!!!


Erap in School
Teacher: Erap spell horse!
Erap : H....O....
Teacher: Bilisan mo.
Erap : H....O....R...
Teacher: Sabing bilisan mo.
Erap : Ya! Tigidig!!!Tigidig!!!Tigidig...


An alcoholic son's letter to his Dad:
Beer dad,
Gin na ko mag-iinom whisky kelan.
Tanduayan mo yan.
Your San,
Miguel

[kiat_kaau_kusion_beh:-)]

you can post any jokes here that you don't want to post as a new topic...


don't forget to put a title of the joke(s) you posted.

[kiat_kaau_kusion_beh:-)]

Classic Excuses

The following are some classic written excuses given to teachers in the Alburquerque public school system:

"Dear School: Please excuse John from being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33."

"Please excuse Johnnie for being. It was his father's fault."

"John has been absent because he had two teeth taken off his face."

"Excuse Gloria. She has been under the doctor."

"Lillie was absent from school yesterday because she had a going over."

"My son is under the doctor's care and should not take fizical ed. Please execute him."

"Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hit in the growing part."

"My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent this weekend with the Marines."

"Please excuse Joyce from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday she fell off a tree and misplaced her hip."

"Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels."

"Maryann was absent Dec. 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache, and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low-grade fever. There must be the flu going around, her father even got hot last night."

"Please excuse Blanche from jim today. She is administrating."

"George was absent yesterday because he had a stomach."

"Ralph was absent yesterday because he had a sore trout."

"Please excuse Sara for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot."

"Please excuse Lupe. She is having problems with her ovals."

"Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had Diah (*crossed out*), diahoah (*crossed out*), dyah (*crossed out*), the shits."


`tis one really cracked me up!

[jeppoy]

[QBFx]

Ow! ang hirap talaga magteach ng parents...

ewww