
Originally Posted by
chad_tukes
.... what i can do to change that for my kids, though, is to stop the practice of passing along to my kids what religion i belong to (since now i don't have a religion, that would not be a problem). although i wish my parents could have done a different thing---like not forcing me to go to church and stuff.
What you mean 'would not be a problem'? You are still facing the problem whether you should let them follow your views on religion or not. Say you let your kids build up their own views on religion, how's that really gonna work? At exactly what age shall these kids learn to understand that religion is not just about measuring its absurdity, but also about building one's faith. Now, one way of doing this is by becoming oneself a model to these kids, whether by influence or by force; but in this manner, you are still an agent of what they might become as an adult. Again, if a parent is seen smoking, the kid would grow to have an awareness of what smoking is, whether the kid decides to smoke or not.
Now you were raised by parents who somehow forced you to go to church; whether you go to church or not today, it still is your decision and not by your parents. Whether you were forced to go to the river or not...whether your parents used a paddle just to make you say the word Amen, it still would be your decision what you want to do at this moment. My point is, I think it would just be inevitable that kids will just imitate what the elderly people are doing. We mistake this for an integration when in fact it's just a mere act of obedience... going with our parents to the church...etc. I understand you were longing for that experience wherein you yourself were the one deciding to go to church and not them.
If you are showing to them that you have no religion as you said, then you are also telling these kids that they should grow one day without a religion.
What if your parents decided not to have you enrolled in your school? Do you think, say when you were still 6 years old, you would go all by yourself bringing all those requirements for enrollment. But say you were already endowed with an adult intellect when you were still 6yrs old, wouldn't it be unrealistic? Did they force you to go to school? Again whether they force you or not, the truth still remains that when you were still a child, there are things that would only be sensible only when the parents are involved in making the decision.
I'm also a victim of this. How I wish our elementary teachers gave me the option which religion to choose from when I was still in my 4th grade. But there's no parallel life upon which I could mirror my own self, it just didn't exist. But which one is safer; to have a religion class solely for Catholicism or to have a class wherein kids get the chance to choose what they wanna be. For a parent, the former is safer than the latter. For a kid, I think, it doesn't really matter. For a teacher? Hmmm. Say you are an atheist, how would you discuss religion class to a grade 4-6 pupils, (and one of them might be your own kid), without enforcing your own belief as an atheist/agnostic? Interesting. In the US of A, some, if not most, schools prohibit pupils from leading a prayer inside their classroom. This could be their way of exercising religious freedom.
This is funny. One time, I asked one of my foreign students to lead in prayer. After the prayer, the class was laughing. I learned later that the student I had asked to lead in the prayer happened to be an atheist, or that she was raised as an atheist. But she did recited well. Asia!
So are you saying had your parents not forced you to go to church (and some other stuffs) you still would have hold on to that religion that you used to have? Well of course, there are other factors.