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You needed space and you needed me to leave,
I gave you that.
You needed to sort your troubles all by yourself,
I granted you that.
You wanted to shut me up so as not to disturb you,
I did that.
You wanted not to see me as often as before,
I followed that.

Now here you come serenading when you saw me cry,
Here you come embracing me and wanting me to smile.
Here you come to ask me what I was doing with a certain guy,
Well, ...

Dear Lyra,

For God's sakes! stop being whiny and clingy and scared! You have been in this drama before, the only difference is the relationship you've exited is something you've had for so long that you've been used to it and you never thought there would be an exit! Look at you! your eyes are swollen sh!t and your face is tear stained! your curls looked bushy and you look soooo pathetic! where's your self preservation dear? where's your self respect? stop begging and stop wishing ...

"This Photograph Is Proof (I Know You Know)"

Well, i'll wait till you listen
I wont say a word
to follow your instincts
just never worked for me
you're silent but strong, (yeah, I'm playing that card)
and you're noticing nothing again

Now I'm lying on the table
with everything you said
keep that in mind the way that it felt
when the most I could do was to just blame myself

(Feel it out for ...

that this would be over soon...

i feel like this is my karma for:

threatening to leave you just because i want to see that you will beg me to stay;
leaving you outside the restaurant and make you stay out for hours hungry while i am inside it eating just because you can't pay what i fancy to eat;
making you wait and wait and hang on to my promise that i will be home at this time and yet i didn't go home at all;
letting you clean up my mess since i don't know any household chores;
insisting ...

since God probably realized that I've got no more tears to shed and yet my heart still wants to lament, He decided to save my eyes the trouble of getting swollen again and the embarassment of catching too much attention from people who would ask "what happened to her?" He let the sky cry a heavy downpour all over the city. It's cold and gloomy here in my office and the city's all gray and damp. This blog would be my silent prayer of gratitude to God for not letting me cry but is still ...

if you ask me if i'm already okay,
the answer is, "i don't know."
if you ask me if i'm fine with the present,
the answer is, "to hell you go!"

if you ask me if i'm coping up,
then tell me what you see.
if you ask me to pretend that i don't know you,
then you must've lost your sanity.

if you ask me if i can let you go,
just look at my middle finger, honey.
if you ask me why it's hard to do,
well, ...