when a relationship turns into a mere status symbol

[gcc4426]

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first time to share something here. i was having second doubts kay naa na rbay nakaila nako sa personal dire.

i thought having a relationship would fill in the void.
at first, i admit i was glad to have her. pero in the long run, everything has gone stale and dull. malingaw ko kung naa cya, pero after that, mubalik nasad akong kalaay.

i feel like was faking to myself, and to her. i feel like nag take advantage ko niya. our communication ron kay medyo alay klaro na (ako moy alay klaro), she tried many times to reach out even until now. to understand me. pero ako, mag sige ko likay. naay usahay mutawag/text sa office, and nisamot kog ka konsenya sa iyang mga gbuhat.

she asked me one time nganong nanguyab ko niya in the first place. i told her it was a mistake, ug nihilak cya. pero i felt nothing while watching her. stoic. bugnaw. pero despite that, mangumusta japon cya nako. ugh...why can't she understand. kinahanglan pa ba ko mangusog niya para makasabot siya?

i've had that same case sa past relationship sad nako, pero mutual to amo break up. mura rag status symbol. pa arong ingnon lang, but i never intended it to show off sa uban, ug dili sad ko ing ana nga klase. i did it for myself, to convince myself. but it never worked, twice.

now, i realized im too preoccupied to go into a relationship. murag wa jud koy panahon ani. ug daghan kog gipanghuna2. i've still had many plans for myself, ug muangkon ko nga wa cyay labot sa akong mga plano. selfish kayo paminawn sa?

in ani jud d.i ko kangil-ad sa...? tsk.
ambot lng unsa gyuy gusto nako, unsa juy makapalipay nako ron.
bisag naa na koy stable job ron, naa koy kwarta pra ikapait sa akong mga gusto. kuwang man japon. naa tuod kay mga higala nga makapalipay nimo, pero ig human sa mga bungisngis, laay napod. taya ani oi. abnormal man kaha ko. hahaha...

my last resort kay pangusgan nlng jd nako.
bahalag sagpaon ko nya, magdumot cya nako human ani. ok ra. kung mao man gani nay paagi nga maundang ning tanang bakaka.
pistiha jud ani oi...kapuya aning dramaha sa...
ug uwaw sd ni oi, di lalim mu angkon ug in ani dire ha. gpugos nlng jud nako kay bsin d.i naay mkatabang nako dire.

[andch81]

hahaha.. maybe u are ..(bout ur q sa last) hahaha.. but I guess your doing the best thing for telling them na wala gyud.. but you shouldnt have started it at all even if you yourself dika sure... Human and feelings bro di sya duwaan... you can affect alot sa usa ka tao bec of one single hurt na imo ma hatag sa usa ka tao and vice versa.

Do not go into rel. sa... enjoy urself tagbawa hangtod maboang ka ug pa tagbaw.. then after that we never know you might just be alone for the rest of your life kay lage wa pa ka matagbaw.. ehhee.. btw, was a party animal before..but never knew I will be as focus as now to my goals...

Hoping you will find the right time.. and the right girl..

[kelv]

dghan ingonAni bro. nkgUyab pra lng status symbol pra mabutang nila sa ilang relationship sa facebook "in a relationship". murag katingadAn sa uban kung wla pka kauyab labaw na kung hitsuraan ka. tsk tsk...

ur not selfish mn. mao cguro nanguyab ka nya ky u thought mao mkapalipay nimo. ang selfish kanang bsan wa nahigugma sa ilang partner, nanguyab gihapon pra lng mka s*x.

[Blackjellybean27]

bro, you said it yourself. you don't have time for her. know what i think? never mind if she makes sagpa and all nimo, the thing is you gotta end it. period. you know you're not happy, she's not included in your plans, etc.. you gotta be firm and tell her the truth. truth hurts we all know that, but she'll eventually move on...
reach your goals/dreams lang sa bro. you'll meet "the one" someday. "the one" who won't bore you to tears. hehe.

[reginakrys]

maybe she's hoping nga in time, you will fall for her. buwagi nalang na oi.. ayaw huwata nga cyay makigbuwag..

[gcc4426]

lge, its like something nga gipugos nakog hungit sa'kong kaugalingon nga di jud nako gusto.
ipokrito kayg dating.

i know nga kung masulti ni nako niya, all i might feel kay maluoy ra nya ug tumang kauwaw. she sensed it nman tngai, pero she's really exerting an effort to lay down the barrier nga akong gibabag. dili man ko tipo nga dali ra mu open up ni kinsang taw, bisan sa iyaha. giingnan gani kos niya nga wa pa jud cya kaila nako. batasan nman sad ni nako gud, i grew with it sad. mao sd tngali niy problema nako.

@ black: kanus-a pa kaha na muabot sa...hehe

[Blackjellybean27]

@ TS - er, next time nalng huna2x kng na achieve mo na plans mo LOL

[Sol_Itaire]

you don't know what love is. simple as that.

[Daiquiri]

There are guys that has this nature, usually guys gyud kadaghanan ingon ani,
for now, ing ana pa ang imong na feel karon, because you feel nga wala pa nimo
nakuha ang tanan but along the way you will realize nga bisag unsa naka ka kompleto
bisag ingnon pa nimo nga perfect na imo life kay nakuha na nimo ang tanan nga pwede
nimong makuha, you need a partner, and that is where you come in to relationships.
Well nuon, dili man angay dali-ali on ang ingon ana nga mga butanga. Goodluck, pasabta
lang unya siya ug nganong kinahanglan na nimo buhaton, she'll understand that.

[gcc4426]

you don't know what love is. simple as that.

bitaw mam sol sa...i've gone bitter, cold and cynical karon. grabe. lahi ra jd sauna.
murag nakalimot na tngali ko anang pulonga...or maybe i jst never knew what love means lng jd.

laay na kau. dili nman mkapalipay nako ang materyal nga butang...