These are excuse notes from parents
(including original spelling) collected by schools from all over the country: 
"My son is under a doctors care and should not
take P.E. today. Please execute him."
(Hala! Sige. Silya elektrika at bitay. Sabay pa! O
kaya n'yo yun?)
"Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was
sick and I had her shot."
(Pag nag-absent pala papatayin ka...siyet! Baka
may rabies...)
"Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent
on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33."
(Ah grabe to. Nasa kalindaryo pa ang birthday mo
kung ganon. Hahaha!)
"Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is
administrating."
(Ano daw
?)
"Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days.
Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his
hip
(Hanapin natin! Hahaha!)
"John has been absent because he had two teeth
taken out of his face."
(Bwahahaha! Ganito kasi yan. Kinagat siya ni Lola
sa noo sa gigil. Tapos nabali yung ngipin ng
pustiso niya. Hahaha!!!)
"Megan could not come to school today because
she has been bothered by very close veins."
(Buti pa veins niya. Close sila. Hahahaha!!!)
"Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has
very loose vowels."
(ah.....eh....i.....ow....u....hahahaha!)
"Please excuse Pedro from being absent
yesterday. He had (diahre)(dyrea)(direathe) the shits."
(Nubayan! Multiple choice! Sinabi na kasi LBM na
lang eh. Pasosyal pa kasi).
"Irving was absent yesterday because he missed
his bust."
(So transsexual pala si Irving?)
"Sally wont be in school a week from Friday. We
have to attend her funeral.
(Ala eh! Mabuhay ang Patay!! Mayroong Himala!!!)
"Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday.
He had a cold and could not breed well."
(Stud service ba yung school nya? Baka gremlins
siya).
"Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a
gangover."
(Ay grabe! Iba na talaga ang mga kabataan
ngayon. Hahaha!)
"Maryann was absent December 11-16, because
she had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach.
Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat,
her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over.
I wasnt the best either, sore throat and fever.
There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.
(Hahaha, telenovela... bow! Makuwento siya ha...
o baka kulang lang sa pansin...)
"Please excuse Jennifer for missing school
yesterday. We forgot to get The Sunday paper off the porch,
and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.
(Winner 'to!!!!!!!!!! Ang galing!!!! Puwede rin kaya
sa office ito? Hahahaha!)
FUNNY ALIBIS - Absent sa School
nyahahaha! 
nahan au ko atong the sh*ts! 
Originally Posted by 0-ngee-ngee
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