"ITS COMPLICATED" scenario...

[Passport]

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TS we don't have the right to judge you on your situation we can give you advises but it is up to you. better think it over. if you want to give yourself a peace of mind. try to let go of one of it. it is not about being selfish or whatsoever; but it is about how man enough you are to stand on what you believe in that makes you happy.

I think your wife is not that naïve not knowing your secret affair. try to weigh things. hope you can find answer to your problem...

that assumption that the wife does not know is underestimating the power of a woman's intuition

[spike412]

magwonder gyud ko why some people like to make their life complicated/miserable when they know what's the right thing to do. bright man ni kaayo si ts tingali. goodluck ts. gwapo kaayo ka gyud. hehehe

[Passport]

@Decoy888, I fully understand where you are coming from, as usual it is always the family that dictates your path in life, so much so in the choosing of a spouse. It could be both boon and bane depending on the person.

Now, there are two logical choices here:

1. Stick with your wife and cease fooling around with your "friend" and go on living a bland life happily ever after.

2. Pursue your "friend" and probably go on living with the love of your life.

or:

3. Stick with your wife and go on living like "normal" and see your "friend" on the side assuming if she also agrees to this arrangement. Keyword here is to be discreet. Just make sure to wipe your mouth after eating.

Now depending on your moral compass, usually "normal" people will only choose either 1 or 2. If you want to live an exciting life, as you mentioned you only live once, choice number 3 can give you that. Of course nothing is for free and nothing lasts forever. Time will come that you will slip up and make mistakes, and if you play your cards right, hopefully your wife will understand you and your actions.

So far have two friends who took choice number 3, both are still married to their wives after 30 years...

This looks like a sound and intelligent MBA assignment, well dissected and presented with probable realisitic solutions. As you have indicated, you have two friends, obviously, you have personal knowledge of them, and option 3 is a real option. Whew.. 30 years is a long time. So there you are, all options are very realistic here.

Talk of moral compass is a very ticklish matter, more so of a very individual aspect. What is right and acceptable to one, may be bane and taboo to another. It is a matter of personal choice, choices one makes at any particular time in one's life, based on the prevailing information at hand, on the emotions raging when a decision was made, and perhaps by fate.

The TS here obviously would like to hear our inputs. We just can not tell him that he is old enough to know what is right nor wrong. King David was grander than most when he decided to have Batsheba. Perhaps it was love. Who knows, it was not specifically mentioned in the bible.

Going by that, that would align with your Option 2 - pursuing the love of life. Which is movie-like wonderful. The kind that creates a classic inrush of conflict that ends in a life live "happily ever after". But, a word of warning though, people change. Love today might not be the same intensity next week. Emotions and feelings are as changeable as the weather. For those who are truly in love, and who are fortunate enough to have been there when True love found them, be happy. For you do not find love, it is the other way around. Love is life.

With option 3, it is like jumping on a parachute. What choices do you have? Well, for one, you can cut the chords and be done with it! Or else, anyway, since you are living a peaceful coexistence with the wife, this option is as practical as logical. And yes, stop the "fooling around", and do not rock the boat.

Just a few thoughts.. from a rambling mind.

[yvonne6]

its already complicated to begin with, can u imagine if your wife finds out, your family, your in laws, and all? happy2 pana karon kay wala paman masakpi ts, pero the moment ma bulgar mo, labad panas tanang labad. enough na siguro nga napagbigyan nimo imong self nga mag enjoy but before it gets too ugly, cut it. i know its easier said than done but think of the consequences. walay ibunga nga maau ang something nga sa sugod pa lang sayup na

[Passport]

its already complicated to begin with, can u imagine if your wife finds out, your family, your in laws, and all? happy2 pana karon kay wala paman masakpi ts, pero the moment ma bulgar mo, labad panas tanang labad. enough na siguro nga napagbigyan nimo imong self nga mag enjoy but before it gets too ugly, cut it. i know its easier said than done but think of the consequences. walay ibunga nga maau ang something nga sa sugod pa lang sayup na

if David's relationship with Bathsheba was wrong.. sige kuno.. how would you revise the entire biblical story without Solomon.. and ultimately Jesus a few generations later?

[R_sQuArEd]

But im at a point wherein im tired of conforming on what is practical...

using another pseudonym ain't practical...try exposing yourself TS to prove your being a non-conformist...YOLO you say, then why hide here in forums

[Passport]

using another pseudonym ain't practical...try exposing yourself TS to prove your being a non-conformist...YOLO you say, then why hide here in forums

a pseudonym not practical?

sometimes, we have to really give it a thought before typing anything resembling intelligence.

the TS knows the complications of the issue presented in his thread.. and the prejudice that abounds in the society we are in. A little privacy will go a long way...

[sakuragi_10]

uhm...hi to all im basically new here..im just wondering if i could also post my "It's Complicated" case, maybe you guys could hear me out and somewhat advise me on how to go on with it?

With all due respect to TS, i hope you don't mind if i share my story here as well? It's kind of similar situation but with a different twist. i just dont wanna make a new thread with same title that's all.

Hope it'll be okay cos it's driving me crazy and it's tearing me apart! i havent eaten for 2 days already, just a bit of water..so i hope you guys would be kind enough to let me air out.

waiting for TS' approval.

[R_sQuArEd]

a pseudonym not practical?

sometimes, we have to really give it a thought before typing anything resembling intelligence.

the TS knows the complications of the issue presented in his thread.. and the prejudice that abounds in the society we are in. A little privacy will go a long way...

i guess it's clearly stated on his last part if the first post that he is already tired of conforming to what is practical...so why use another account to express what he thinks and feels...that ain't practical i guess...if i'm not mistaken he wants to be bold and daring...exposing himself is one daring move...yes he knows about what could possibly happen but his last statement negates the whole story

[Passport]

uhm...hi to all im basically new here..im just wondering if i could also post my "It's Complicated" case, maybe you guys could hear me out and somewhat advise me on how to go on with it?

With all due respect to TS, i hope you don't mind if i share my story here as well? It's kind of similar situation but with a different twist. i just dont wanna make a new thread with same title that's all.

Hope it'll be okay cos it's driving me crazy and it's tearing me apart! i havent eaten for 2 days already, just a bit of water..so i hope you guys would be kind enough to let me air out.

waiting for TS' approval.

well, I am not the TS whom you are asking approval from.. but why not give it a go if you dont want to make another thread, having similar contents.

and hey... do not starve yourself..