Ask me any question about relationships

[Ginalyn]

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Hi to all who istoryans especially to those who support this thread in particular.. those who share their treasure chest of experience, brilliant and heartfelt ideas..

mangayo unta ko ug advice..

I have this GF 5 months nami... malipayon rman mi sa usag usa... siya akung first love.. 1st 2 months grabe kaayu mi ka sweet ug close akung tym halos ghatag naku tanan niya 2 the extent nga halus aku nang gkalimtan akung mga barkada and even my family... YES I really love her gidawat naku cy as a whole ug wla koi nakita nga bati despite nga aku iyang 5th BF ug daghan kaayu nahitabo sa ila nga iya gi share nku... but as time goes by naay koi na discover niya Cge ra ghapon cya ug communicate sa iyang ex and even mag kyug ghpaon cla... aku pa gani nasakpan sa txt and even sa actual gyud... after ato cge nami ug away.. hinoun grabe kaayu ka seloso especially sa iyang mga ex.. One time nasakpan gani naku nga nag angkas2x ug motor kuyug sa iyang ex unya grabe ghapon siya ka mka deny nga wla na gyud cla magkyug..and even until now cge nghapon cla ug kita2x masakpan lang nku sa mga sulod sa iyang bag like recibo nga naay ngalan sa iyang ex, and even my cousin told me nga naay grabe nka agbay2x niya and based on description parehas ug nawng sa iya ex... ug akung timbang2xun mas bughat man amung happy moments compared sa akung mga kasakit...

Unsaon mani naku nga love man ghapon naku cya dli ko mka buwag niya... but masakitan man gyud ko.. unsa akung buhaton...

thanx

Lesson number one in relationships.
See if your partner is a Player or a Keeper.

If your partner is a player, wala na jud kay mahimo ana bro.
Utong na lang if you think she means the world to you.

Obviously shes a player. she will always look for other guys current or past.
She will always hide things from you and
you will put up to her lies every single day,
until the time you both would not know the truth anymore.

So play with a player if you can handle it.
Have other girls too and let her know about it.

but thats not my advice.
My advice to you is----

love is over rated.

Find yourself a keeper.
(dili si Richard Cypher ha! )
A keeper will never look for another
unless you hurt her so much and she finds comfort in another man.

[histrionic0311]

mam,

i have this girl.. bag.o pa lang mi nagka uyab ani niya, it was just 3 weeks ago..

ni resign siya sa iyahag gi trabaho.an because mu abot ang iyahang auntie gikan sa cavite to pay her a visit. this auntie of hers is very strict and always right bah.. her auntie wanted that my gf will work on her aunt's province in cavite..

help.. what can i do to support my gf when the worst-case scenario will set in?

[Ginalyn]

mam,

i have this girl.. bag.o pa lang mi nagka uyab ani niya, it was just 3 weeks ago..

ni resign siya sa iyahag gi trabaho.an because mu abot ang iyahang auntie gikan sa cavite to pay her a visit. this auntie of hers is very strict and always right bah.. her auntie wanted that my gf will work on her aunt's province in cavite..

help.. what can i do to support my gf when the worst-case scenario will set in?

nothing.
its her decision.
and if she owes her auntie so much,
she might yield to her aunties wishes.

but if she owes her nothing then she can always say no.

but if her work in Cavite is better than her work here, then why not.
in a hi-tech world, distance is not a problem anymore.
that is if you are secure with each other.

as you said 3 weeks pa mo.
she can not put weight on your relationship yet.
she needs security.
if she can not get it from you, then she would probably go with her auntie.

mao bitaw akong giingon nimo,
be financially stable first before you go into any relationship.
because mature girls need financial security that much.
Kay kung financially stable pa unta ka,
you can always say nga ---
-----bahalag wala kay trabaho labs,
-----kaya tikang buhion.

[turOk bUtOy]

uhhhmm...naa koy laki..we've been together na for almost 2 years nmn cguro..we had a bad start..he had a gf mn when we met then he never told..instead he made up stories bout trust issues..so i assumed nga he was single until naabot ang time na i found out naa xa gf..bantog ra nga permi mi nagtago2 or gabii lng mi mgkita or sa office lang..then daghan au xa ug girls aside naku ug sa iyang gf..busy permi ang fon ug daghan mga alibi..

then he broke up with his gf na..until krn kuyog2 gihapon mi..den ni ana xa naku na serious daw xa nku..cge xag ingon i love you den he do things which he didnt do before..but dili nku motoo kay daghan mn gud xa pasakit ug pangilad nga gibuhat nku for the whole year 2009 (wala pay labot ang last 2 months sa 200..then maabot jud sa point nga mainsultohan na nku xa kay dli mn jd ko motoo niya den krn na noon nga ok na mi..d pud ko ma at peace kay lain permi ako huna2on niya..cge lang ko gaduda.

one thing is, dili xa catholic..he invited me sa iyang religion and ganahan au xa nga maconvert ko..could it be maayo xa naku karon tungod lang sa ana nga rason??

second, before katong binuangan pa ko niya permi, magcge xa hisgot about anang abroad2 (am a nurse and sauna nag-apply ko para singapore)..den mao nato..den karon kay magcge na xa hisgot bout ana..den willing pa xa mo finance ug IELTS nku kay ana xa : "Investment mn pud na nku..dili diay ko nimo tabangan if naa naka sa abroad?"

Lastly, dili jud ko motoo nga wala na xa lain girls (contrary sa iyang cge pasalig nku)..kay busy au xa cge ug text2 (parehas sauna kato bag-o pa mi kaila nga dili nk paminawon kay lingaw au xa sa iyang katext) den known player na xa sa office..

ambot naglibog naku kay cge nmn nku xa awayon..masuko ko kalit kay nagduda ko plus pa jd naay tighatud ug tabi nku..karon seems like ako xa gipasakitan..well, i admit mn pud nga ganahan ko sa feeling nga ngsakit xa if tinood mn kay i always remember mn gud tanan niya gibuhat sa akoa b4..feeling nku nakabaws nku...

am i too brutal lang ba?? please enlighten me..tnx

[Ginalyn]

uhhhmm...naa koy laki..we've been together na for almost 2 years nmn cguro..we had a bad start..he had a gf mn when we met then he never told..instead he made up stories bout trust issues..so i assumed nga he was single until naabot ang time na i found out naa xa gf..bantog ra nga permi mi nagtago2 or gabii lng mi mgkita or sa office lang..then daghan au xa ug girls aside naku ug sa iyang gf..busy permi ang fon ug daghan mga alibi..

then he broke up with his gf na..until krn kuyog2 gihapon mi..den ni ana xa naku na serious daw xa nku..cge xag ingon i love you den he do things which he didnt do before..but dili nku motoo kay daghan mn gud xa pasakit ug pangilad nga gibuhat nku for the whole year 2009 (wala pay labot ang last 2 months sa 200..then maabot jud sa point nga mainsultohan na nku xa kay dli mn jd ko motoo niya den krn na noon nga ok na mi..d pud ko ma at peace kay lain permi ako huna2on niya..cge lang ko gaduda.

one thing is, dili xa catholic..he invited me sa iyang religion and ganahan au xa nga maconvert ko..could it be maayo xa naku karon tungod lang sa ana nga rason??

second, before katong binuangan pa ko niya permi, magcge xa hisgot about anang abroad2 (am a nurse and sauna nag-apply ko para singapore)..den mao nato..den karon kay magcge na xa hisgot bout ana..den willing pa xa mo finance ug IELTS nku kay ana xa : "Investment mn pud na nku..dili diay ko nimo tabangan if naa naka sa abroad?"

Lastly, dili jud ko motoo nga wala na xa lain girls (contrary sa iyang cge pasalig nku)..kay busy au xa cge ug text2 (parehas sauna kato bag-o pa mi kaila nga dili nk paminawon kay lingaw au xa sa iyang katext) den known player na xa sa office..

ambot naglibog naku kay cge nmn nku xa awayon..masuko ko kalit kay nagduda ko plus pa jd naay tighatud ug tabi nku..karon seems like ako xa gipasakitan..well, i admit mn pud nga ganahan ko sa feeling nga ngsakit xa if tinood mn kay i always remember mn gud tanan niya gibuhat sa akoa b4..feeling nku nakabaws nku...

am i too brutal lang ba?? please enlighten me..tnx

I'm sure you have your share of trust issues.
And since trust is the foundation of any relationships, yours are shaky now.
This is why you want to hurt him.
It s normal to expect the person you are in relationship with--- to be trust worthy.
And since he is not, then you feel the pain of the unmet expectations.

you either find another person to trust or lower your expectations.

[turOk bUtOy]

i tried na bitaw for a million times na but cge lang japon xa samok2 nku...then lately, i told him na dili nku...iya pud ko gi-threaten na mag suicide xa..i dunno..possessive au xa..he told me na dili xa gusto na makakita daw ko ug lain..hahayss...ok ra mn mi if magkuyog mi..but then cant help jud nga magduda..grabe gud ako experiences naagian niya..den before he would share kung giunsa niya pag -alibi iyang gf...tsk tsk

[organ_nic]

that is they key.
learn to be happy without a special someone.
be happy with yourself. be happy with your job. and with the things you do.
have fun, dont be stiff and serious.
and when girls see that happiness in you---
they want to be happy like you too.

Thanks! I really have to work on this.

[anjerika]

Lesson number one in relationships.
See if your partner is a Player or a Keeper.

If your partner is a player, wala na jud kay mahimo ana bro.
Utong na lang if you think she means the world to you.

Obviously shes a player. she will always look for other guys current or past.
She will always hide things from you and
you will put up to her lies every single day,
until the time you both would not know the truth anymore.

So play with a player if you can handle it.
Have other girls too and let her know about it.

but thats not my advice.
My advice to you is----

love is over rated.

Find yourself a keeper.
(dili si Richard Cypher ha! )
A keeper will never look for another
unless you hurt her so much and she finds comfort in another man.

ginalyn, how will you know if your partner is a player or a keeper? any signs? do you consider his past? is it not right to judge the person based on what happened sa iyang past? what if he says nga nag bag-o na siya, and whether you know its true or not do you trust the person gihapon? is it unfair to the other person to give him the benefit of the doubt? how will you assess kung player siya or keeper?

[Ginalyn]

ginalyn, how will you know if your partner is a player or a keeper? any signs? do you consider his past? is it not right to judge the person based on what happened sa iyang past? what if he says nga nag bag-o na siya, and whether you know its true or not do you trust the person gihapon? is it unfair to the other person to give him the benefit of the doubt? how will you assess kung player siya or keeper?

The past is very important.
It makes the present man.
but this is not enough.
talk to his family, friends, girlfriends and enemies.
Funny thing---you know a man more through his enemies.

when somebody applies for a job, we usually ask for a transcript of records,
barangay clearance, police clearance, nbi clearance, reference person and etc.
and they are just applying for a job.

A boyfriend is applying for a lifetime partner---
you should need more than his words and acceptance of his past weaknesses.

Talk to as many people, who knows him, as you can.
And believe in his actions not his words.

[Ginalyn]

i tried na bitaw for a million times na but cge lang japon xa samok2 nku...then lately, i told him na dili nku...iya pud ko gi-threaten na mag suicide xa..i dunno..possessive au xa..he told me na dili xa gusto na makakita daw ko ug lain..hahayss...ok ra mn mi if magkuyog mi..but then cant help jud nga magduda..grabe gud ako experiences naagian niya..den before he would share kung giunsa niya pag -alibi iyang gf...tsk tsk

Becareful having relationship with possessive persons.
They usually are wife beaters.

Stay away from possessive people guys.
please ........for your own safety.