Military Jokes..

[treize]

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A military exercise is carried out at an American airbase. The paratroopers have jumped out of the C-130 Hercules. Suddenly, a soldier screams desperately to his officer!
Soldier: "Sir! My parachute doesn't open!"
Officer: "Don't worry soldier! This is just an exercise!"


The US Army is carrying out an artillery exercise.
Officer:"Load... Fire!"
Soldier: "Fire?! Where?!"



A Soviet army officer is shouting at one of his drunk soldiers!
Officer: "Sergey! You drunk animal! If you wouldn't drink that much vodka, you could be captain! "
Sergey: "Haah? Woaah, major, last time I drank 2 times as much and I felt like a general!"



A Russian pilot is shot down in a spy plane over Alaska.
He is captured by the US Army and locked up for interrogation.
US interrogator: "Tell us about the plans of the Mig-29 fighter!"
Russian pilot: "I don't know"
He is beaten up, then he's interrogated again...
US interrogator: "Tell us about the plans of the Mig-29 fighter!"
Russian pilot: "I have no idea about anything, I swear!"
He is beaten up again, then again and again, and finally the Americans get tired of interrogating him, so they let him go back to Russia.
In Russia, when he first meets his pilot comrades, he tells them: "Comrades, learn the Mig-29 plans well, 'cause the Americans almost had me killed for not knowing them!"


The Russians and the Chinese are at the peak of political conflict.
Both countries threaten each other militarily...
A big package arrives to the Kremlin... Brezhnev opens it, it's a big bag of beans... And a note from Mao: "This is how many we will come to crush you!".
Brezhnev writes another note, orders for a big bag of flour to be sent to Beijing.
Mao receives it with the note: "...And this is how we will send you back!"



East German soldiers are training.
After so many wars with so many enemies, everyone is confused about who the allies and who the enemy is. The commander is testing his soldiers.
Commander: "Schultz!"
Soldier Schultz:"Ja, Herr Kommandant!"
Commander: "If you meet an American and a Russian soldier, vich vun vill you kill?"
Soldier Schultz:"Ze Russian!"
Commander:"No, you dumkopf! If I vere you, I vould kill ze American!"
Soldier Schultz:"See, Herr Kommandant, you still leave me za Russian?"

[chinwin]

lols nkasabot ko sa uban pero ang last naglibog ko...hhehhehe

[treize]

lols nkasabot ko sa uban pero ang last naglibog ko...hhehhehe

the soldier thinks the commander will kill the american, so he still leaves the russian for him to kill...

[budsmaro]

kapoiag basa ani maw oi