Two crap jokes

[panuway]

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A Duck walks into a bar and asks "Got any Bread"
Barman says: "No."
Duck says: "Got any bread?"
Barman says: "No.
Duck says: "Got any bread?"
Barman says: "No, we have no bread."
Duck says: "Got any bread?"
Barman says: "No, we haven't got any ***ing bread."
Duck says: "Got any bread?"
Barman says: "No, are you deaf, we haven't got any fú*king bread, ask me again and I'll nail your fú*king beak to the bar you irritating bas***d bird!"
Duck says: "Got any nails?"
Barman says: "No."
Duck says: "Got any bread?

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During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.

'Well' said the director, 'we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.'

'oh, I understand,' said the visitor. 'A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or teacup.'
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'No.' said the director, 'a normal person would pull the plug.
Do you want a bed near the window?'

[captain_midnight91]

nice!

[jkid8]

[WinFlo]

mura padung diay ko ani mental asylum dah

[wilner]

hahahaha sakoto!

[not.the.saint]

nice one!... apili nalang sad kog bed dha be.. sipyat ko dah..
hahahah

[LeeLeePot]

ug sa dihang kuchara akong nahunahunaan aron mairita ang doctor sa ako ug kuha ug tubig...peste! magbook nakog room sa asylum ani..hahah

[Chinese Kung Fu]

Nice one. Hehehe.