LeeLeePot

i am getting used to crying
i am getting familiar with my tears
i am getting the feel of melancholy
i am getting the lesson of my fears

i am eating my pride everyday
i am chewing off my dignity
i am shredding all that's left of me
to keep you within my boundary.

i am swallowing these bitter pills of rejection
i am always face flat on the floor
i am kneeling to pins and needles of pity
so as not to let you walk out of the door.

i have been used now on these daily battles
and these bruises and wounds are now my friends
I know all of these pain and sadness like a family
still i want to be with myself again.

i am getting used to you pushing me away
i am getting used to forcing you to stay
i am getting used and i am getting tired
and i might just stop this drama one day.


he's got a kid from a woman he met months before we met and he didn't know about the kid not until recently. the thing is, he had been attracted to this woman even if he only spent a week with her which eventually lead to them having a kid. they lost contact since it was just a one-week fling and they never knew each other's real name. and now they will finally see each other and ofcourse, with the kid..And I thought I am living my own love story. Ever since this thing came up, I feel like I was kicked out of the fairy tale and I am now witnessing a love story unfold. Although he promised me that no matter what happens he will be back, i don't think i can keep up with that positivism knowing that there was something that's going on between them months before he met me and that they are now reliving that something. I just wonder how come it had to take five years for this show to run. I suddenly became curious of the purpose of that five long years when all I thought about was that he was drop dead in love with me until he saw this girl again and he suddenly went confused and dropped that bomb on me. did I just waste my five years with him? if he already belonged to someone else, why did Fate broke them apart and made me enter the scene? I am no longer sure if this was supposed to be a test for our five-year relationship or if this is a test for their one-week moment of bliss. I am just sad. He wants me to wait but I am no longer sure if he's coming back.