Airline Cabin Announcements

[Jpacs29]

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All too rarely, airline attendants make an effort to make the in flight "safety lecture" and announcements a
bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been
heard or reported:


CONTINENTAL AIRLINES
On a Continental Flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew,
the pilot said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising
altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your
comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants."


JAPAN AIR LINES
"In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend
from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over
your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your
mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more
than one small child, pick your favorite."



BRITISH AIRWAYS
"As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings.
Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight
attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses."



QANTAS AIRWAYS
Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We
ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the
terminal."



NORTHWEST AIRLINES
After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a
flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced, "Please take care
when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like
that, sure as hell everything has shifted."


PHILIPPINE AIR LINES
We're now preparing to land at San Francisco International Airport.
Kindly straighten up your seats, turn off all electronic gadgets, pull
up your window shades and buckle up for safety. We hope you enjoyed
flying with us as much as we did.
Sa wikang atin po, tayo po ay papalapag na sa paliparang
pangkalawakang internasyonal ng San Francisco. Paalala po lamang sa
ating mga kababayan -- ang mga unan, kumot, headset at iba pang
kagamitan sa eroplano ay di po kasama sa pasalubong. Huwag po lamang
baklasin ang LCD-TV na nakadikit sa silya.

[^-^ eLay ^-^]

PHILIPPINE AIR LINES
We're now preparing to land at San Francisco International Airport.
Kindly straighten up your seats, turn off all electronic gadgets, pull
up your window shades and buckle up for safety. We hope you enjoyed
flying with us as much as we did.
Sa wikang atin po, tayo po ay papalapag na sa paliparang
pangkalawakang internasyonal ng San Francisco. Paalala po lamang sa
ating mga kababayan -- ang mga unan, kumot, headset at iba pang
kagamitan sa eroplano ay di po kasama sa pasalubong. Huwag po lamang
baklasin ang LCD-TV na nakadikit sa silya.

galaw-gawa jud aning mga pinoy oi...dghan bitaw ko mkit-an ani ay ang mga habol pandalhon ug apil...hehehe

[RU9halogen]

Pesti katawa lang ko da!... asta ang unlan kutsara, platito, baso, headset, tootpick or even napkin dadon pa! hahahahaha~ astang parachute!

[shimiyu]

hehe tendency? nyahahahaha

[Jpacs29]

d na ta mahibulong oi, nyahahaaha ato nalang kataw an ang ugali sa uban natong kababayan.... pwera sa maayo ha?

[^-^ eLay ^-^]

souvenir man daw na nila nga nakasakay cla ana nga airline bah...
atot pud oi...

[Jpacs29]

souvenir man daw na nila nga nakasakay cla ana nga airline bah...
atot pud oi...

maayo pud pagka souvenir mommy elay kay kinawatan nyahahahaha

[prakx]

ahaka sad.

[love2travel]

Bwahahahahahaha... nalingaw sab ko ani, da!

[dyosa]

hilarious hahahahha