Need your words of wisdom about insanity

[aesc2486]

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Hi! ako papa since nagkabuot ko, ako papa is alcoholic(like 3 to 5 bottles of tanduay a day). Naa tanan gikan sa verbal abuse, physical abuse sa ako mama og sa akoa, financial abuse and all others na inyu ma think about sa pamilya nga amahan kay palahubog. 5 mi ka mag igsuon then ako ang kinamagulangan.

Ako papa hinuon wala mag kulang og kaiskwela namu og iyaha pud gibuhat iyaha part as padre de pamilya. Nag dako mi tanan nga ing.ana amu life and to the point nga pirmi bati amu mahuna2x niya.

Lately ni avail og early retirement ako papa without any back up what to do after. Dili mi arangan nga family (mostly gi blame nko nya why) and lisud og igo ra jud mka finance aa amu everyday expenses.

Lately (probabbly due to lots of factors e.g depression) nagpakita nag sign of delirium and delusions ako papa to the point nga naa na xa mga imaginary friends and basically on the verge of losing his sanity.

I know what really happens to him and i know what to do BUT there is something hinders me not to help him at all because of my past experiences.

Mau ni akong mga conflicts krn:
1. I know in then end papa ghapn nko xa and untang kabubuton as anak nga to help them HOWEVER that does not mean nga mag salig cla nga naa cla anak mka atiman nila. Unsa nmn diay pud akong mga plano sa kinabuhi?

2. Mahal ang treatment and naglisud na gani mi.

3. Why should i always carry the burden nga as a son i have done what they expected me to do. Ni tabang na gani ko nila without even sparing extra for my future, wala koy bisyo, wala ko nag pabadlong sa ila as anak, wala koy hagbong sa klase ug uban pa. Why should i always have to do everything nga bati na gani amo relationship as father and son


I hope with this, i can get insights sa inyu mga istoryans

[chocofudge]

Hi! ako papa since nagkabuot ko, ako papa is alcoholic(like 3 to 5 bottles of tanduay a day). Naa tanan gikan sa verbal abuse, physical abuse sa ako mama og sa akoa, financial abuse and all others na inyu ma think about sa pamilya nga amahan kay palahubog. 5 mi ka mag igsuon then ako ang kinamagulangan.

Ako papa hinuon wala mag kulang og kaiskwela namu og iyaha pud gibuhat iyaha part as padre de pamilya. Nag dako mi tanan nga ing.ana amu life and to the point nga pirmi bati amu mahuna2x niya.

Lately ni avail og early retirement ako papa without any back up what to do after. Dili mi arangan nga family (mostly gi blame nko nya why) and lisud og igo ra jud mka finance aa amu everyday expenses.

Lately (probabbly due to lots of factors e.g depression) nagpakita nag sign of delirium and delusions ako papa to the point nga naa na xa mga imaginary friends and basically on the verge of losing his sanity.

I know what really happens to him and i know what to do BUT there is something hinders me not to help him at all because of my past experiences.

Mau ni akong mga conflicts krn:
1. I know in then end papa ghapn nko xa and untang kabubuton as anak nga to help them HOWEVER that does not mean nga mag salig cla nga naa cla anak mka atiman nila. Unsa nmn diay pud akong mga plano sa kinabuhi?

2. Mahal ang treatment and naglisud na gani mi.

3. Why should i always carry the burden nga as a son i have done what they expected me to do. Ni tabang na gani ko nila without even sparing extra for my future, wala koy bisyo, wala ko nag pabadlong sa ila as anak, wala koy hagbong sa klase ug uban pa. Why should i always have to do everything nga bati na gani amo relationship as father and son


I hope with this, i can get insights sa inyu mga istoryans

ikaw ra isa ng support as of now sa inyong family? how about imong mga siblings?

TS, i think dapat ni ipa move sa Family matters na section.

[THE KID]

ako papa alcoholic pud pero buotan man....ako mai salbahis hinuon...TS...kinahanglan na i rehab imong papa....

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"3. Why should i always carry the burden nga as a son i have done what they expected me to do. Ni tabang na gani ko nila without even sparing extra for my future, wala koy bisyo, wala ko nag pabadlong sa ila as anak, wala koy hagbong sa klase ug uban pa. Why should i always have to do everything nga bati na gani amo relationship as father and son"

ako ma comment ani kai imo nani personal choice

[luff101]

Murag mas bagay ni sa family matters nga thread


Dili pud na sakit sa tiguwang imo papa TS? Ango-ango man guro ang term ana.

Family is family ts bahala na kung unsa sila ka badlongon. Hinay2x lang gud ts, ayaw pagdali.

[mokiloo]

It's a mistake if muingon ka utang kabubut-on na nimo nila
They brought you to this world so it's their obligation and responsibility to take care of you
And same goes if ikaw manganak...you brought and give life to someone because you wanted nga maka anak or if it makes you happy and complete...dili kay himu-on nimo utang na nila nimo. Otherwise you're just keeping this vicious cycle going and chances are you will end up like dysfunction father or parent.

And regarding to your current dilemma whether to take responsibility of your father's current situation:
Just be fair to yourself...you're still young and can do better and still have a future.
Don't feel too bad if di nimo kaya matabangan ang imo papa or you end up depressed and confused pud and chances are you could also snap or crack under great mental pressure, emotional stress OR ikaw pud mabuang

Though I can't directly tell or advise you what to do with your father. Ang ako lang is which is worth saving? You sacrifice your future for your father which is on his way out and could be useless? Or yourself...nga dako pa ug chance to be useful in life and could probably help out (not by obligation) someone else in family who also needs you.

Love yourself first!

I'm not telling you NOT to respect your father but tell me how you define RESPECT..meaning no matter how you are mistreated ok ra nimo coz you RESPECTED him?

Know your rights and learn to respect yourself FIRST before knowing what real respect is. OR tell me does this RESPECT or utang kabubut-on made what he did or been doing, treating you right?

[manila property]

speaknig words of wisdom let it be.

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speaknig words of wisdom let it be. ., .,.

[JakLine]

as a family, kamu ang una mka help s imung father. in some ways like inyo cia pakitaan n inyung attention naa nia. dn knang mag talk pd mu..

[2nderemperror]

Hi! ako papa since nagkabuot ko, ako papa is alcoholic(like 3 to 5 bottles of tanduay a day). Naa tanan gikan sa verbal abuse, physical abuse sa ako mama og sa akoa, financial abuse and all others na inyu ma think about sa pamilya nga amahan kay palahubog. 5 mi ka mag igsuon then ako ang kinamagulangan.

Ako papa hinuon wala mag kulang og kaiskwela namu og iyaha pud gibuhat iyaha part as padre de pamilya. Nag dako mi tanan nga ing.ana amu life and to the point nga pirmi bati amu mahuna2x niya.

Lately ni avail og early retirement ako papa without any back up what to do after. Dili mi arangan nga family (mostly gi blame nko nya why) and lisud og igo ra jud mka finance aa amu everyday expenses.

Lately (probabbly due to lots of factors e.g depression) nagpakita nag sign of delirium and delusions ako papa to the point nga naa na xa mga imaginary friends and basically on the verge of losing his sanity.

I know what really happens to him and i know what to do BUT there is something hinders me not to help him at all because of my past experiences.

Mau ni akong mga conflicts krn:
1. I know in then end papa ghapn nko xa and untang kabubuton as anak nga to help them HOWEVER that does not mean nga mag salig cla nga naa cla anak mka atiman nila. Unsa nmn diay pud akong mga plano sa kinabuhi?

2. Mahal ang treatment and naglisud na gani mi.

3. Why should i always carry the burden nga as a son i have done what they expected me to do. Ni tabang na gani ko nila without even sparing extra for my future, wala koy bisyo, wala ko nag pabadlong sa ila as anak, wala koy hagbong sa klase ug uban pa. Why should i always have to do everything nga bati na gani amo relationship as father and son


I hope with this, i can get insights sa inyu mga istoryans

tabangi nalang TS, mas maayong mo tabang ka kesa sa dili kay sakto ka,
papa gihapon na nimo. ug klaro na karon nga mas need na jud niya
imong tabang. lumalabay ra jud nang ginikanan nato. as long as naa pa
kay ikatabang nila/niya, tabang nalang.. kung nakaya nimo ang
mga gibuhat niya sauna, karon, halos dli na man to niya mabuhat pa
nimo kay padong na man cya mayabag. isa pa, ayaw kabalaka kaau
sa imong future kay padong raman gihapon ka ana. ang imong papa,
padong na man sa kawad-on totally maong tabangi nalang.
you're a strong person sa akong nakita, maong padayona lang
imong ka maayo TS

[gibra'al]

to be honest TS, i hate your father's guts. early retirement? ha! and what, kamo nga mga anak nya ang pa problemahon sa mga gastos? what a jerk. he's a sore loser, and i feel sorry for you nga siya imong dad.

i think kanang pagka.alcoholic nya is his way to escape reality. but things jst went from bad to worse, and now he seems mentally unstable. na prito siya sa iyang kaugalingong mantika. self-inflicted pain.



Mau ni akong mga conflicts krn:

1. I know in then end papa ghapn nko xa and untang kabubuton as anak nga to help them HOWEVER that does not mean nga mag salig cla nga naa cla anak mka atiman nila. Unsa nmn diay pud akong mga plano sa kinabuhi?

-- your mindset is actually right. you are NOT obliged to 'give back' sa imong ginikanan and parents should know this. ila nang responsibility.

i find it selfish nga other parents send their kids to school and all, hoping nga one day mu serbisyo ni nila in return. plain selfish. if i were a parent, di nako mag.hasol sa akong anak. i'd let them live their own lives.

2. Mahal ang treatment and naglisud na gani mi.

-- don't throw all your money into waste. it's an investment nga destined to fail. pagbilin para sa imong self. as harsh as it may sound, but let your father cripple. prep up nlng sa funeral expenses/cost kay for sure ikaw ra gihapon mag.kabiba ana knowing you're the eldest. it must be really tough for you.

3. Why should i always carry the burden nga as a son i have done what they expected me to do. Ni tabang na gani ko nila without even sparing extra for my future, wala koy bisyo, wala ko nag pabadlong sa ila as anak, wala koy hagbong sa klase ug uban pa. Why should i always have to do everything nga bati na gani amo relationship as father and son

-- unwanted guilt is what keeps you from doing what you truly deserve. i hate this feeling as well. life's unfair ts, and keep this in mind always. endure it for now, but i suggest you need to be wise sa imong actions. di na uso ang martyr ron. just don't give up. ok?

prayers won't help you resolve your problems, so flick that sh!t away.
maintain a realistic mind.
face your problems as RAW as they are. kay bisan unsa pa nato'g likay di jud na mawagtang kung di nimo sila atubangon.

[Ivan James]

Pareha ta bro ug kahimtang. Lain kaayu sa pamati bitaw. Makapangutana ka ba na nganu ing.ani man ako amahan. Palahubug ug wala man gali paki kung nakakaon na ba iya mga anak. Lima sad mi. Gamay kaayu ang kita sa ako papa everyday. Pila ra gud ang kita sa driver di ba nya usahay ihurut pa jud ug inum. Also, nigraduate ko ug college na wala koy gipangayu sa ako parents na pangtuition ug allowance. Katong college na ko, akong motivation gikan sa akong kalagot sa ako papa. That feeling na nahan ka moabove ang imung kahimatang sa imu papa para ipamukha sa iyaha na unsa imu naabot ug isumbat sa iya unsa iya wala nabuhat para nimu. Maybe ing.ana sad imu na feel. That was my feeling before. That feeling na di cya deserving ug respect or the likes. Oo bro, dili man nimu obligasyon nga muserbisyo nila. Dili nimu obligasyon to pay back. I used to hate my father but now wala naman. Ako nalang ang nisabot niya bro. I may not be able to completely understand nganu ing.ana sya peru he deserves my respect. Karon ako nsad siya nasabtan gamay. He is the kind of person na dili kaexpress sa iyang kaugalingun. He's that kind nga kinahanglan una maghubog2 para masulti niya unsa iya gibati. It's just a matter of understanding them they are your parents. Your father is one of those unique persons nga naa ta as individuals.
I stopped holding grudges because I don't want to bring that to my future family. One thing also. I will never become who I've become now if kung dili pa sa ako papa. Siguru bati iya gicause naku peru nakahuman man kug college ug daghan sad nakat-unan. Though usahay makadiscourage jud but I'll still give my respect. Katu imu 3 ka pointers or unsa to. Nakasulti sad ko ana bro. When I was too egoistic and too driven by that hate. I've even told myself na talikdan naku ako family. May gali nakarealized sad ko ba nga I'm becoming something, something I promised I'll never become. Maybe akong papa kay icompare natu as monster and I don't want to be like him peru sa unsay nahitabo naku run I'm creating another monster. And I don't that monster to ruin my soon to be family. And I don't want that monster na mas mupuno pa noun. But everything is in your hands bro. I'll suggest try to forgive your father labi na karon na naay tendency di na nimu cya makastorya ug tarung. Kung sauna nakahuna2 ko na di naku obligasyon ang mupay back. Karon bro usa sa ako mga goals ang matagaan ug malipayun na old age ako parents. Di mana pagpakamartyr. It's loving unconditionally and para naku our parents deserves that love.