Dear blank, please blank

[francoise07]

---

What's your "Dear blank, please blank" message?.
Post 'em here.

Here are some examples I found on the web upon stumbling..

------------
Dear Icebergs,
Sorry to hear about the global warming.
Karma's a bitch.

Sincerely,
The Titanic
-----------

Dear Boyfriend,
I can make your girlfriend scream louder than you can.

Sincerely,
Spiders
-------------

Dear People of the World,
I don't mean to sound slutty,
But please use me whenever you want.

Sincerely,
Grammar
-------

[francoise07]

Dear cigarette,
Without me your nothing.

Sincerely,
Lighter

[reigel99]

Dear Beautiful Lady,
Just wanna be an angel flying around you,
risking all that I have just to kiss you
even if it cost my life...

Sincerely,
Mosquito

[francoise07]

Dear Mosquito,
I will do my best to protect my beautiful lady.

Sincerely,
Baygon