it's been a while since I received the bad news. I never opened it to anyone, to my family and to my friends cuz don't know how to cope up with it. trying my best to be strong, putting a smile on my face, saying to everyone that I'm OK. but the truth is, it's not ok. but i need to. don't want to blame anyone even myself. my pride is on its highest level, don't want to be down and don't like people will pity me for my fate.
if in this way, i'll be stronger so be it. not sharing my pain to anyone, even not acknowledging its existence.