Should I let go of him?

[messy_babycate]

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Bros and sisters, my decision won't be solely based on your advices but it would really help me a lot in finalizing what steps to take.

Here's the situation.

Some of you might have read my thread on how to earn/save money for my daughter's operation. If you did, then you are aware that I don't get financial support from the father of the baby though he's giving moral support in the form of caring for me and looking after the baby while I'm at work.

Last year, things have changed drastically. We (the baby, my partner and I) were staying in my mom's store since we wanted to have a place of our own but can't afford one. So instead of living with my family, we chose to live in the store's spare space. Last November, he had to move out and live with his grandfather because of conflict with my mom. Eventually my mom was kicked out of the house too because she abused me physically and sent me away..(which is another story)

So I had to hire a nanny despite the fact that I am undergoing a financial crisis. The nanny had to leave for a week because her mom had a heart attack. My baby had to stay with her dad for a week..well actually, my partner would fetch her at around 5pm before I go to work and I would fetch her at 6am... I barely had any sleep because I had to take care of the baby while her father works as a non-regular encoder in our Baranggay Hall. I would sleep whenever the baby would and would wake up after barely 2 hours. My partner would finish at around 3pm so he'll go to my house, look after the baby while I catch some sleep.

After a week, the nanny came and so we we're back to the usual situation where he'll visit me and the baby twice a day.

His vice (mahjong and baraha) has long been a problem of hours. I've been confronting him ever since we began living together for I am totally against it. We've had huge fights in the past because I would look after him and find him at our neighbor's house playing. He stopped for almost two months but recently I caught him again. He explained that he is trying his best to stop but he was tempted. he had very little money and was hoping playing at stake would make it more which I strongly disagree.

My partner's aunts scolded the nanny for coming back because they wanted my partner to look after the baby because it had reached them that my partner has vices (magsugal sa mahjong or braha).

The nanny told him that she was scolded and he responded:
"Sos, ang ilang makita ang ako ramang sayup. Nganong magbuot man sila? Unsay labot nila?"

I brushed him off for saying so. First, because it is never right to say those things to his aunt whose only intention was to make him a better person. Second, because my daughter needs an operation and we we're even thinking of approaching that aunt of him to see if she can lend us some money.

He do have "hinanakit" sa iyang aunts because when we found out that our daughter needs an operation and we thought it was urgent, we apporached them to ask for help but they declined. They didn't even explain why, they just did. But I still think dili sakto iyang gibuhat.

The QUESTION:

All I ever wanted was for my baby to have a complete family. But I'm too tired of talking with my partner who won't even listen to me. He tries to avoid any confrontation and would chose to walk out. Di jud siya pasulti gud...gikapoy nako. Been explaining nga if love mi niya duha sa baby then dapat di siya magpatintal sa sugal but masakpan gihapon nako siya.

I need your advices if I should let go of him coz murag irresponsable ra kaayo siya. Gikapoy na jud ko. To think naa mi dakong problema pero mada gihapon niya ug sugal. Maluoy ko maghunahuna nga walay papa ako baby pero sa iyang batasan murag wala ra man gihapon bisag naa siya.

[messy_babycate]

naluoy ko sa baby kay perme mangita niya pero gikapoy na man sad ko niya gud kay murag wa gyud siya plan magchange for his family. Naa jud siya'y iya... DI paistorya.

[rAiNe_]

if he can't change even fpor the baby's sake. might as well leave him.. he's not even giving money but he has money for all of his vices.. it only shows how irresponsible he is..

[kit_cebu]

sorry but inutila anang tawhana.......
you should've seen this coming..... or basin pod pag-puyo ninyo, mao pa nisugod bisyo.....

you're there for your kid....your family is there....which i think she/he needs.....

mao ni gi-ingon sa akong mama "kayang maging tatay pero di kayang maging ama"

better not get back to that aunt of his only to be declined twice.... reach out sa IMONG pamilya.....that should prove something.....ma-ulawan pana sila.....

anyway, that's just my take....

.

[kitloy]

if its not helping .. its not good for you ..

[Soul Doctor]

kick him out.

he has no right adding problems to the family.

im sure he has lots of excuses for playing tong-its and mahjong.

gambling is an addiction. treat him as you would treat a drug addict.

what is worse is--there is no rehab for gambling addicts.

[AntitaniC]

. your partner sucks... leave him... you'll be better off without him in your life...

I can't believe these types of *****s exist...

[palanggako123]

The QUESTION:

All I ever wanted was for my baby to have a complete family. But I'm too tired of talking with my partner who won't even listen to me. He tries to avoid any confrontation and would chose to walk out. Di jud siya pasulti gud...gikapoy nako. Been explaining nga if love mi niya duha sa baby then dapat di siya magpatintal sa sugal but masakpan gihapon nako siya.

I need your advices if I should let go of him coz murag irresponsable ra kaayo siya. Gikapoy na jud ko. To think naa mi dakong problema pero mada gihapon niya ug sugal. Maluoy ko maghunahuna nga walay papa ako baby pero sa iyang batasan murag wala ra man gihapon bisag naa siya.[/quote]

we're on the same situation gurl thu not with the "vices" thing..just being irresponsible partner and father..hu wouldn't want a complete family? kasu iasa mana nmu kun labad sa ulo lang iya ihatag..dugang sa problema..i already kicked out my guy and let him go..you can also do the same..m in the process of moving on..to be honest, m at peace now when he's not around..maningkamot nalang ta sato anak ani.. gudluck

[Daiquiri]

The best way is to for you guys to part ways, there's no sense man
gud if you still try fixing things but your partner's not even cooperating.
Even though it would mean that your baby wouldn't taste of having
a complete family. Settle down muna, kamo duha sa imong child. Try
to start anew. Whenever you encounter trials and you overpass them,
there's a reward. Soon it'll make sense why you need to sacrifice.

[gandatsik]

say goodbye. inutia sad anang taohana