I will be making my story short.
Me and my girlfriend are dating for about 4 years. All is well until I finally hacked her facebook account and see the "dreaded" contents there. Here's the summary.
4 years ago, she told me that she met this guy on myspace. She also told me he lives also in the same province as she is but that guy traveled in Saudi due to his job. With the help of her cousin, the guy got her cellphone number and myspace. Soon, they started communicating via message and not on the testimonial zone. At first I started to feel eerie about it due to the fact that both of them communicated via message. In other words, it is indeed private and can't be seen by other eyes. One time, I got to read few of her messages when she logged her myspace account and went to the comfort room. I swiftly skim to the messages and found out that this guy is flirting her. Eventually, she came back and good things that the messages were already read and with that, she wont notice that I had been opening them. Weeks passed and they continued communicating until the flirting became worst and its a good thing that she types slow in the keyboard and with that, I easily got her password. With it, I skim her messages safely because all of them are unread and she probably forgot to delete them. Now, the guy asked her if she has a boyfriend and she replied honestly that she has. That guy also told her that if she isn't happy with her present boyfriend, she just have to go to him. He also told her that she is beautiful and pretty and other lame pick up lines to woo girls. Sadly, she entertained him telling him appreciating words. Days passed and I confronted her about the matter. I admit that I was jealous and she told me that I should trust her and stop my jealousy. She already know that this guy is a "player". She also told me that she is just playing him some games because that guy also flirted her cousin and her cousin told her to play with him too. You know, silly little games. I disclosed the matter and apologize for my jealousy.
4 years have passed and still they communicated. I gave her full trust about it so I would no longer mine. But I smell something. One time she went to an internet cafe infront of a mall to encode her assignment, I followed her because I forgot to return her notebook, which is a need because it is our exam the next day. So went to the cafe and go to her location. I glanced at the monitor and partly she is doing her task and at the same time, typing a message to that same guy. When I tried to poke her, she quickly ALT+TAB and switched to microsoft word where is half finished of her tasked. I then sat down beside her. She told me that if I am frustrated with her because I caught her sending a message to him. I just nodded and told her that I trust her. Then she went to her message and she erased them all. I then gave a critique about the guy's profile and then she sent the comments to him, instead of her desired message. And with that, I think something is really up.
Months passed and it was somewhere on our last year in college where we will be doing our thesis research. I was out in the mall buying resources for our report. When I came back, she was upstairs with our teammate preparing the area. My friend told me that her cousin came. I went upstairs and asked her who's that cousin that came here a while ago. She honestly told me that it was exboyfriend. For a minute, I asked myself, "why would she want to tell my teammates that it was her cousin well infact, it was her exboyfriend." Although I didn't mind that but still, she lied.
Weeks ago, I finally got the password for her facebook account(facebook is now the trend). And now, I can view all her messages about that guy and her. And I was in deep frustration when I read a message on the bottom of the list, which is the oldest, calling her "babe". And I was like "who the hell this guy think he is!". And not to mention that they communicated via message and not on the comments section. I skim more and found a message stating that she also call her "babe". And now, both of their pet names are babe and I was like "this is not good". Then as I move upward to be reading the newer messages, that guy told her that he loves her. On the next messages, I read that he asked her if I am her boyfriend and she replied on the next message that I was only her close friend and both of our feelings are the same. In other words, mutual understanding. We have been dating for 4 years and she told him that we are just like that? I stopped reading the messages and log off her account. I went smoking for a while to chill things and I phone call downstairs. I ran down and it was her and she told me if me and that guy were chatting. I told her that we are not and she explained to me that if that guy finds out that me and her are dating, there's a possibility that she will be telling the mother of my cousin(they work on the same place) and then directly to my girlfriend's uncle. She is afraid of that. She lives on her uncle by the way for her parents are divorced. Her uncle by the way isn't in favor of her having a boyfriend for now. Then we hunged up. I went upstair and continue to smoke. I was hold back for a minute and I asked myself "If she wants to hide our relationship from that guy's eyes and from her uncle's, why is she telling that she loves him and responsed at their petnames? Does that mean that she wants to divert attention?" After I smoked 3 cigars, I went back to my pc and logged my facebook account. I noticed that she is online so I chatted with her for a while. I calmly bought the topic about that guy asking her if I was her boyfriend and she fired back that we will not make the issue bigger. And with that, I will not be posting spams on her wall in facebook(I spam a lot). She also added that my other cousins will read it and will be asking numerous questions. I agreed and eventually, we ended our conversation. Currently typing this message, I am still waiting for the updates of this underground activity of theirs.
Sorry for the long story. I had to admit that. I had no one else to talk to and I cant trust people here around me. I really need some advice guys.
what is she planning to do? why is she keep on communicating with that guy when she already knew that he is a player? why is she flirting with him? why is she telling him that she loves him? is she still true to me base on what she did as I mentioned above? oh and one more thing, things didnt go well for this month. She started to act cold. You know, less physical contact and some things like that. It is the 24th of december here and it is as cold. It is a sad christmas for me. My family isnt here with me. I told her to spend a little time with me before she will be going somewhere in the east for a christmas vacation but she declined because she is preparing for her flight. And infact, 3 days prior to that, she is still in her uncle's house.
Guys, can I still trust her? Is she cheating on me? I love her so much but does she loves me like the way I love her? I know that hacking her accounts is illegal but Im only using it as an evidence for it and nothing else.
Trust advice
Trust advice
I empathize with you...this is too painful.
Originally Posted by sunflame
I admire you for trusting her completely and love her in spite of what you have found out. I am a girl too...and I have this eerie feeling that your girl is cheating on you. She have fallen by the trap that the guy set up for her. It is because she entertained those foolish sweet nothing talk. Keep your senses awake...your girl doesn't want to lose you and yet can't give up that other guy. I remember my boyfriend told me before that endearments should only be use for those people who are dearly love by you. It shouldn't be use for those people who are just plainly close to you. And I don't think it is a good excuse to use such endearment just because they are close friends. The fact that she have a boyfriend,she shouldn't entertain such nonsense talk. It's plain normal to have friends...keep in touch from time to time with them, but there has to be limitations. I am sorry to say but your girl is SOOO SELFISH. Sit down and have a heart to heart talk with her. Listen to her side as well as pouring out your hurtful feelings to her. After that talk, simply weight things out. If she continues to ignore you and have simply taken you for granted, no matter how painful it is to put an end to everything between you and her, but instill this in your mind, she's not worth all your time and loving. In that 4years time you have given your all...your best for the best for your relationship. You have given her trust despite of the intuition you have and embrace her with so much love, yet, it is not good enough for her. She's not contented of having and loving you alone.Weight things...and don't forget to pray and ask guidance from the LORD. The LORD simply cares even the smallest details in your life. Everything happens for a purpose. You might question GOD'S sovereignty over your situation but time will come, you will understand why things are happening the way you didn't expect it to happen. Greater things are yet to come in your life. Continue to be the kind of person you are...slow to anger and love someone at your very best.The best thing you must do first when she comes back, is to have an honest to goodness talk with her. If she keeps on denying and covering up for herself. Don't react...observe her closely, look at her eyes...you can tell if that person is simply telling the truth or merely lying. Speak softly, and just observe and listen to her closely. The decision is yours. Pray before making a decision....pray....never cease to pray....sometimes GOD will say no...it is because HE HAS A BETTER...A MUCH BETTER WAY FOR YOU.....Happy holidays and update us with your story. 
GOD BLESS.
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