Just a Remedy.. ;[

[emjee17]

---

hi guys! ;D
i've just watched oprah and i found their topic really interesting. kay nakarelate man ko. hehe. It's actually about being in an abusive dating relationship where in most cases, you continue to deny to yourself that your partner is actually abusing you emotionally and physically just because you love him.

12 signs of a controlling personality and potential abuser..

1. Jealousy
2. Blames others (including you) for his faults, him being the way he is
3. Blames circumstances for his problems (it's not me, it's how life is treating me)
4. His behaviour is unpredictable and you don't know what to expect from him at any time, in particular how he may greet you
5. He belittles you verbally, tries to take away your self-esteem and self-respect
6. He cannot control his anger and directs his anger at you regardless if his anger is due to something he feels you did or someone/something else
7. He always asks for a second chance to behave better
8. He says he'll change, that he won't do it again, after he's finished his outburst
9. His family resolves problems with violence, a history of violent behavior in his family, with brothers and sisters, against parents, his parents were argumentative and/or abusers
10. He plays on your guilt. (If you loved me, you'd...")
11. His behaviour often worsens when he uses alcohol or drugs, easily becoming uncontrollable
12. He is close-minded. His way is the only way and you'd better always do as he says.


Though my boyfriend doesn't physically abuse me, nor attempted to, I was surprised by these signs because he actually does these to me. i mean, most of the time i'm actually emotionally drain.

i believe i've definitely changed a lot now that i'm with him. it's been 13 months. i can't see how he has changed me.

one of my friend said, "we're too young to be in a steady relationship. think about it."

what should i do? please help.

[RainDrizzle07]

hi guys! ;D
i've just watched oprah and i found their topic really interesting. kay nakarelate man ko. hehe. It's actually about being in an abusive dating relationship where in most cases, you continue to deny to yourself that your partner is actually abusing you emotionally and physically just because you love him.

12 signs of a controlling personality and potential abuser..

1. Jealousy
2. Blames others (including you) for his faults, him being the way he is
3. Blames circumstances for his problems (it's not me, it's how life is treating me)
4. His behaviour is unpredictable and you don't know what to expect from him at any time, in particular how he may greet you
5. He belittles you verbally, tries to take away your self-esteem and self-respect
6. He cannot control his anger and directs his anger at you regardless if his anger is due to something he feels you did or someone/something else
7. He always asks for a second chance to behave better
8. He says he'll change, that he won't do it again, after he's finished his outburst
9. His family resolves problems with violence, a history of violent behavior in his family, with brothers and sisters, against parents, his parents were argumentative and/or abusers
10. He plays on your guilt. (If you loved me, you'd...")
11. His behaviour often worsens when he uses alcohol or drugs, easily becoming uncontrollable
12. He is close-minded. His way is the only way and you'd better always do as he says.


Though my boyfriend doesn't physically abuse me, nor attempted to, I was surprised by these signs because he actually does these to me. i mean, most of the time i'm actually emotionally drain.

i believe i've definitely changed a lot now that i'm with him. it's been 13 months. i can't see how he has changed me.

one of my friend said, "we're too young to be in a steady relationship. think about it."

what should i do? please help.

I really dont want to sound harsh nor sarcastic w/u sis
pero bitaw its up 2 u lang jud, if you will still continue
to be in that kind of relationship/situation
more often than not, sometimes we female
because of our emotion and delusion
we tend to "imagine" that someway, somehow
our partner will really change his attitude
and we are really blind or most of the time
we are always in a denial state, we always find ways
to correct why is our partner acting that way
or why he has that kind of attitude, sad but true

ako ra jud masulti naa ra na nmo
kay ako when I was in that kind of relationship
nigawas ko oie.. nakahuna2x ko

I may have love him, but I realize I love myself more
and this may sound very common pero tinoud jud
ng "daghan pa kaaung isda sa dagat" ug
"dili ra xa ang lalake/babae sa kalibotan"

if you want to be pathetic then go on
with that kind of relationship pero if you want to be
really happy then choose yourself

RElationship Addiction = is the chronic neglect of oneself over something or something ^_^

[emjee17]

I really dont want to sound harsh nor sarcastic w/u sis
pero bitaw its up 2 u lang jud, if you will still continue
to be in that kind of relationship/situation
more often than not, sometimes we female
because of our emotion and delusion
we tend to "imagine" that someway, somehow
our partner will really change his attitude
and we are really blind or most of the time
we are always in a denial state, we always find ways
to correct why is our partner acting that way
or why he has that kind of attitude, sad but true

ako ra jud masulti naa ra na nmo
kay ako when I was in that kind of relationship
nigawas ko oie.. nakahuna2x ko

I may have love him, but I realize I love myself more
and this may sound very common pero tinoud jud
ng "daghan pa kaaung isda sa dagat" ug
"dili ra xa ang lalake/babae sa kalibotan"

if you want to be pathetic then go on
with that kind of relationship pero if you want to be
really happy then choose yourself

RElationship Addiction = is the chronic neglect of oneself over something or something ^_^

thank you sis. ;D hehe. somehow you made me feel a bit at ease. kay finally naa gyud tay nakasabot.

i admit, i've been very tanga and gaga for the past months letting him take control over me. for now, wala man miy problema, pero i feel nga there is really something wrong. maybe this is it.

pirmi mi magkuyog sa skul and karon maka feel ko nga i need some space. not nga di ko ganahan makakita niya or mag sigeg kuyog niya. i just want to have the kind of life that i had before he came. ana ganeh.? i know there should be changes, SOME changes, but he wanted almost all of it to be changed.

just mastering enough confidence to find my way out.

[malds]

mam, seriously kapoy mn basa oie taas au.. nahan unta ko mu tambag, pero duka nmn kaau.. wahahahahha! up lng sa ko karon.. basahon ko ni og tiwas later inig mata nko.. eheheh!!

btw dli ni bugal2x ako ahp... >.<

[tauren_chieftain]

kung asa mo malipayong mga istoryans, suportahan ta mo....wew

[tauren_chieftain]

mam, seriously kapoy mn basa oie taas au.. nahan unta ko mu tambag, pero duka nmn kaau.. wahahahahha! up lng sa ko karon.. basahon ko ni og tiwas later inig mata nko.. eheheh!!

btw dli ni bugal2x ako ahp... >.<

pareho ta brad,maygani ka matulog ka...ako na pa office 24hours ko diri...

[malds]

pareho ta brad,maygani ka matulog ka...ako na pa office 24hours ko diri...

wahahahah! ako kay off ko karon... pero duty na sd ko ugmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! kaaaaaaapooooooooooooooooooooooooooooy!!!!

[emjee17]

i was asking for suggestions or any kind of help.thanks!

[lola_basyang]

"we're too young to be in a steady relationship. think about it"

agree ko sa imong friend... ako i would say dominant ko sa ako current relationship ha. pero im not proud of that... nahan gali ko ma change kana mo stand up pd siya... pero it seems i treat her like a parent state and not sa same level...

ako point is, kanng there are times na your bf maybe doing those things its not for your relationship sake but for YOU and your (ikaw dili inyu relationship) sake... ako im doing those things especially kana mura ako siya insultohon... to make her be aware of her weaknesses and strengths.

tiwas lang niya ko reply kay mura taas taas na gamay... eheheh

[cjmagowan]

understand each other lng oi.. nya love does not pick any age, time and place. if inlove mo.. then no one can hold you back... unless you are starting of holding back.