Istorya Daily Blog

[roselyn]

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post here that tell us a little bit information about yourself.. more about your life, or any stuffs..

well, im the first of course...
about me, it's not a pretty sight I'd rather be sweet and nice i'm the type that would give you the shirt off my back if you asked for it for a long time I didn't know what I wanted in life but know
I do and it's time to make things right I'm on the come up so hope on or get left behind some don't deliver me but they are luck I forgive but I never forget ." i won't shed a tear to a person who doesn't care about me,i won't love if doesn't love me too" i am simple and i am what i am, sweet, caring and very much good in cooking, not taray, not liar !

[kyuusai]

Dear Diary,

I was so worried today, i've got into trouble today. As in everybody was trying to blame me for what i did last nyt. I don't know how to say or make some excuse for what i did. There were two of us who happen to be blamed. I afraid if our head might called to us to his office. I just prayed hopefully not. I'm trying to think of some allibies but it's too obvious that i'm lying. Will be having a meeting by this afternoon and i don't think i'm gonna be there. I really have a bad day!!..

[roselyn]

Dear Diary,

I was so worried today, i've got into trouble today. As in everybody was trying to blame me for what i did last nyt. I don't know how to say or make some excuse for what i did. There were two of us who happen to be blamed. I afraid if our head might called to us to his office. I just prayed hopefully not. I'm trying to think of some allibies but it's too obvious that i'm lying. Will be having a meeting by this afternoon and i don't think i'm gonna be there. I really have a bad day!!..

sounds so bad... why? what happen? what was the cause? pretty sure truth will set you free...

[giver_bert]

Life Sucks??

At times I wonder if things are meant to be so damn hard. As I look back on the last 23 years, I am overwhelmed with the amount of melancholy I have felt, by the hands of others, and myself. It was recurring. When you grow up in a home where your siblings happens to be great achievers, and your parents are expecting you to be at least like them, literally.. then how can you develop a good sense of your self worth? After years of this, how could you do anything but come to believe that what has been said could be nothing short of the truth?

When you are coerced, emotionally and physically, for the most momentous developmental years of your life, is it really hard to comprehend why you would grow up to accept this way of life as the norm? It is a very sad fact of life - you learn what you live.

But, when you finally realize that this does not have to be the case, how do you dig underneath all of the frustration and exhaustion, how far are you going to throw them, to find the real you? Or do you have to start all over, from scratch, and make up a whole new person?

I promised myself I will do with the best of my human capacity to satisfy people with their expectations about me for the interim. I set aside my dreams of either taking a religious vocation or plunging into a computer-related course to supplement my burning passion for gadgetry.

I took Accountancy, the school curriculum didn’t offer marginal allowance for failure, you only have a single slot! lose it once then it’s goodbye for you. Half hearted, I managed to consistently pull myself successfully with every challenges I faced. Even managed to finished my parent’s chosen course with flying colors and passed the board exam – an exam consistently rated 2nd most difficult licensure exam, holding the 1st position are those of lawyers..

Looking back to all the things I have done, if feel like it’s time for me to do things my own way this time.

However, as I find myself sitting at our house terrace once again, I realized that when you are on a journey to "find yourself", it is more likely to look at other people and say, that is who I would like to be, free of the burdens, the frustrations. But, thankfully, these days, I am instead saying, I just want to be ME. And I am learning to accept the fact that those things are already a part of my individuality. Everything, whether you like it or not, whether planned or spontaneous, happens for a reason.. we may never know if it’s going to be for the betterment of us, but at least you’ll just have to be optimistic and be ready for it.

I just need to find out what the rest of me looks like.

[n`gel]

Today I called for an appointment for a prenatal visit, yup, we're gonna have another baby. It was kinda hard to accept, but it's alright, babies are angels, and my husband really want to have another one. Although our first is just 10 months old, she's in Cebu with her lola and uncle and the rest of my relatives. We miss her bad, especially her daddy. Ako mouli man ko last week of October, so I will see her, but him, basin next year pa makaapas kay busy sa work. So... am gonna see my baby... and I'm kinda excited to be pregnant in the Philippines... it won't be too hard.. and the food I like to eat will be there. And... naa katabang... when I was last pregnant samok kaayo amo balay kay lisud kaayo i-cope up with chores. But anyhow, I know most will say it's too soon, but hey, what do they expect me to do? Drink something to get rid of life? No way, may ni sunod and straight, we'll settle with 2, no more. I thought it was my doctor's fault, di ko prescriban ug patch and even injectible, la na lagi ko nibalik niya. Taking care of a baby here in the US was just so damn hard that I didn't care to think of anythingelse than when to sleep and eat, kay grabe gyud ko ka derprived. So kalimtunon gyud kaayo. But anyhow, I'm not gonna have the baby here in the US. Not anymore. I won't allow myself to go through like the last time ever again. So, uli ko Cebu, adto ko manganak. Will just go to the US Embassy to change the baby's status and citizenship. Basta kuno first trip naku pabalik US, dad-on ang baby, dili kinahanglan siya ug visa. American baby born abroad. Sheesh, I hope I won't encounter problems though. Pero mao man gyud na ilang policy, my sister had her baby in Cebu, then oplok ning mga consul diha sa Manila, niana dili daw kuno pwede dad-on iyang baby, pag-abot niya Detroit port of entry, gianaan siya nga iya unta to gidala iya baby. Hanggaw kaayo. Pabalikon kuno unta siya dayon, pero nge... kamahal sa ticket noh? So mao na, she didn't bring her baby on her first trip back here, tua sa Pnas gapaabot kanus-a madala diri through petition.

[giver_bert]

my head's kinda spinning right now, and i wanna go out tomorrow, so i should be in bed already, but i'm here instead..

seems like everytime i start to feel positive, something brings me back down.. there's something there that won't let me have hope, for anything, and i'm not talking about the world now, nor this country, nor anyone, but me.. too many memories flooding me, inside, too much complacency mixed with desire.. clearly my subconscious wants to work it all out, but that's the only place where things are worthwhile..truly.

in dreams it all happens.. all that needs to happen..
in reality it's just marking time..

i need to curl up, lose consciousness..

[splendid moonlight]

i had a really busy day yesterday. today is tomorrow if i put myself in yesterday, but it's almost like yesterday and now are the same. maybe that's because i haven't rested yet.

my day was a combination of things, some of them good and some of them far from it. but i did realize one thing - i gotta have faith.

[kiat_gamay]

Dear Diary,

i shoudnt be feeling this way. i shoudnt be sad.... nooo.. im over that person but why im still bothered everytime i heard stories that his seeing someone new.. and that... he's falling for that someone now.. no..no.. this is not true..it can't be... i dont want to feel the way i am feeling right now.. i want to move on and start a new chapter in my life..but how tell me dear diary.. tell me please..

[carlisle gwapa]

Dear Damn Diary

i should i write something about what i feel today in this forum... btw.. sabay2x lang.. well.. what i a stressfull day.. first i only have 2 hours sleep... i have to wake up early for my duty yet... theres no duty! waaaaaaaaahhhh.. then we had an exam which it really sucks.. someone told me that trust ur frist answer.. well guess what i didnt! it sucks.. hehehehe.. but the bright side of this damn whole day is that.. secret! hehehehhe... basta..

to be continued...

[giver_bert]

i dreamed i was moving back into our old house where i spent half of my childhood days... surprisingly, it had more rooms than i remembered, and more people living there.. i asked someone, "how many people actually live here?".. i think it was more like a movie than a dream.. there was the requisite gay man, looking for the perfect partner, and i would help him find his prince charming, by the end of the first season, no doubt..

there was a small skylight in the ceiling, and it was open, and raining.. not that the rain was coming in, but i was searching for the appropriate loop-ended tool to grasp the handle and close it, and did, find it, closed it, and someone was telling me really i ought to leave it open.. next thing i knew the floor in the next room was covered with water..

this all sounds like an amalgam of felicity episodes, combined with my psyche to produce a dream that seems to be about a time when i was just starting out on my own, mixed with people that i come acquainted with before, and the roommates i've never had.. and etc.

i guess i need to continue working on my dream house's blue print again..