Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot". I call mine S3x. Now, S3x has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog's license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for S3x. He said, "I would like to have one too!" Then I said, "But she is a dog!" He said he didn't care what she looked like. I said, "You don't understand... I have had S3x since I was nine years old." He replied, "You must have been quite a strong boy." When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I would like to have S3x at the wedding. He told me to wait until after the wedding was over. I said, "But S3x has played a big part in my life and my whole world revolves around S3x." He said he didn't want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in his church. I told him everyone would enjoy having S3x at the wedding. The next day we were married at the Justice of the Peace. My family is barred from the church from then on.
When my wife and I went on our honeymoon, I took the dog with me. When we checked into the motel, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for me and my wife and a special room for S3x. He said that every room in the motel is a place for s3x. I said, "You don't understand. ... S3x keeps me awake at night." The clerk said, "Me too!"
One day I entered S3x in a contest. But before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just looking around. I told him that I was going to have S3x in the contest. He said that I should have sold my own tickets. "You don't understand," I said, "I hoped to have S3x on TV." He called me a show off.
When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had S3x before I was married but S3x left me after I was married." The Judge said, "Me too!"
Last night S3x ran off again. I spent hours looking all over for her. A cop came over and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning. I said, "I'm looking for S3x." - My case comes up next Thursday.
Well now I've been thrown in jail, been divorced and had more dang troubles with that dog than I ever foresaw. Why just the other day when I went for my first session with the psychiatrist, she asked me, "What seems to be the trouble?" I replied, "S3x has been my best friend all my life but now it has left me for ever. I couldn't live any longer so lonely." and the doctor said, "Look mister, you should understand that s3x isn't a man's best friend so get yourself a dog."
My Life With S3X!
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