childwar chronix...para sa mga suicidal
Buddy Loretz
may akda
Relax and chill, try to give yourself a stop-over. Sometimes you don’t need to grab opportunity like a wild beast and devour it aggressively. I’m not saying wait for the opportunity to grab you, I’m talking about an alternative approach. A slow phased and tender approach.
My point is very simple. No matter how successful you may have become and everything that you need is in your realm, there are times when none of these seems to matter and loneliness would grab your neck. Out of nowhere, so tight that you might not be able to regain composure and break free from it. Then silence…
If you consider that this might possibly happen, then you are probably a bit scared of this reality.
There are people who don’t know how to properly deal with loneliness, some couldn’t bear the sorrow and some end their miserable lives to run away from melancholy. If you could relate to what I’m writing, then this manual is for you. Please read it religiously your life might actually be saved by this manual. Suicide is never an option because it is unhealthy and dangerous.
Instead of taking your life away, why don’t you stop and don’t move on. Ready get set and remain.
10
Things that you can do when you’re alone in your room, Without Moving!!!
1. Clean your room using your imagination.
2. Plan your future plan – Advance thinking.
3. Name your favorite things.
4. Organize a debate between your electric fan and the light bulb. The topic should be about efficiency and conservation. Let them voice out through you.
5. Make a pick-up line for yourself. But don’t let yourself pick you up.
6. Count your teeth without moving.
7. Fart internally.
8. Play “Hide and Seek” with your mind. Let your mind find you first, then you can find him after.
9. Challenge your strength. Don’t breathe within 10 seconds.
10. Try to blame yourself. By doing so –you might actually discover that by blaming yourself, you are actually blaming your own. Thus, you will realize that yourself and your own are the same.
Enjoy not enjoying life…
10
Suicidal songs that you shouldn’t listen to.
1. 25 minutes too late, by Michael Learns to Rock.
2. Separate Lives, by Phil Collins.
3. My Way, by Frank Sinatra.
4. The Final Countdown, by Europe.
5. Breathless, by The Corrs.
6. Knife, cuts like a knife
7. Beautiful Girl, by Jose Mari Chan.
8. Halik, by Aegis
9. Lupang Hinirang ( especially the end part… “Ang mamatay ng dahil sa’yo” … This song strongly suggests death, it’s very dangerous.)
10. Spaghetting Pababa…pababa ng pababa.
Avoid songs that contains – death, heartaches, heartbreaks, knife, blade, hair blower, valium, deep sleep, ocean deep, breathless, kill, bad medicine, accident, electricity, other side, over-the-rainbow, hopeless, alone, dark, scared, crazy, getting drowned, its over now, mmbop, shotgun, 9mm, lead gloc mc master, lead uzi, ak47, bullet in the head, racuumin, insecticides – in its lyrics. If you hear these key words while listening to your favorite song, please stop the sonata or run away from it. Run away as fast as you can if you want to live.
Please avoid listening to these bands; Poison, The darkness, Culture Club, Nirvana, My chemical Romance, Hanson, Maroon5, The Pretenders, Southboarder, true faith, freestyle, Backstreet boys, Cueshe, Callalily, 6 cycle gays, Mymp, N’sync, Aegis, Michael Learns, Christian Bautista, Eric Santos, Typecast, pussycat dolls, and The No Bail band.
Always remember that you have suicidal tendency disorder, Always think positive!!!
Now here are 10 enthusiastic pro-life songs that I recommend you listen to. Please download these songs, record them or access them on youtube A.S.A.F.P. These songs will help you remember that life is wonderful and you should not waste it.
10
Pro-life songs you should hear.
1. Take me out of the dark, by Gary V.
2. Que Sera Sera, (whatever will be, will be).
3. Do the locomotion.
4. Annie Batumbakal, by Hotdog.
5. If you’re happy and you know it clap your hand song ( Acapela version).
6. May Bukas Pa, by Rico J.
7. Staying Alive, by beegees.
8. Para sa’yo ang laban na’to, by Manny P.
9. Nosi balasi, by sampaguita.
10. I live my life for you
If you are still alive, please continue reading…
Always remember dear readers, I can only prevent the meaningless act of suicide. I don’t claim cure for this kind of disorder. If you still want to proceed in killing yourself, then it can’t be helped.
Here are 10 carefully arranged last words, might as well utter this before you take away your own life.
10
Last Words.
1. Banzai.
2. Kamikazee.
3. I’m the King of the world (for male suicider).
4. I’m the Queen of the world (for female).
5. I’m Gay (for gays).
6. Rice shortage.
7. Oil price hike!!!
8. GMA resign.
9. Mabuhay ang Pilipinas.
10. I love you Angel Locsin.
If you are already dead, please stop reading…
If you want to jump off from the top of a building, cliff, plateau, waterless swimming pool, volcano, barangay hall, Batasang Pambansa, Malacanang Palace, Chocolate Hills, moving train, Ferris wheel, Airplane, UFO, - Always remember to shout.
Always declare and shout “falling” as loud as you can, use the last words that I suggested. Make a scene and warn them that you are on your way down. Make sure you won’t hit someone on your way down to the ground.
Please never ever bring this manual when you perform the deadly act of suicide. I don’t want to be held responsible for your demise. If I see my manual beside your jologs corpse, then I will kill you again!!!
If you go down, please go down alone… group suicide is a big no no…
Buy a lottery ticket before you die and give and give it to the closest person worthy of your trust, a family member or email the possible winning combination to me. Send it to
buddy_laser@yahoo.com.
I have exhausted every power and wisdom that I have. Hopefully you are still alive. Please hang-on my friend and continue reading.
Hey don’t worry the telephone number you dialed is a tricycle number…
If I have convinced you and saved your ass, thank me later. You can also express your appreciation by email or reading this manual until the very last page is enough. Enough about death.
This manual is also about life, love and Superheroes. I am going to introduce you to “The Deathstones”, an elite non-profit superfriendly superhero organization. Unlike the Justice League, they are non-profit, not regulated by the Chamber of Superfriendly Superprofit Superheroes Around the Universe or (CSSSAU) and they don’t support any specific justice system.
THE DEATHSTONES
Vision:
The Deathstones sees:
*.* A world without danger, rice shortage, VAT, NPA, ZTE, Sulpicio, Oil Price hike, Abu Sayaf, GMA, George Bush, Captain Barbel, Justice League, Bayani Fernando, Network Wars, Separatism, Racist mentality, Winston Garcia, Kim Jong Ill, Purefoods Basketball team, Wowowee, War, Eat Bulaga, Senators endorsing vitamins and other products, Political Prostitution, EDSA revolutions, Vilmanians, poverty, social cancer, suicide, status quo, Aristocrats, Political Dynasty, Corruption, traffic jams, volleyball, vegetable and megamall.
*.*A society where citizens are honest, noble, kind, competent, environment friendly, cheerful, soft face, non-suicidal, peaceful, industrious, honest again, sugar and spice and everything nice.
Mission:
This group revolves around a common desire, a mission that surpasses all missions. Guided by a lonely fire they embark in each majestic journey like a raging beast in the midst of a dark heavy rain.
A deathstone believes that if the loneliest fire and the loneliest deathstone will unite, loneliness changes into courage, sorrow into joy, pain into redemption and failure into triumph.
These super dudes are not super friends coz they are super bestfriends, they are not X-MEN coz they are ABCDEFGHJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ-MEN and they are not the Power Rangers coz they are Power Brothers. Each member of this anti-villain organization has super powerful iron balls, 11 dimensional and cool powers that they will not hesitate to use against evil forces. And each battle is a guaranteed victory. Each deathstone member has a tattoo in their chest, A battle axe design and at the top of the Axe – the words “ Protect all that is human, all that is kind and all that is righteous.”.
They are the beacon of hope for humanity, the planet Earth, the isaw vendors, the tempura vendors, the oppressed, the repressed, the victims of love, the suicidal, the my way karaoke singer, the tribal minority, the small time entrepreneurs, the Phil economy, the victims of calamities,, victims of war, the overseas workers, the nghoyong and shomai vendors, Mrs Bacalso –my teacher in Grade 4, those who are about t rock, those who are victims of poverty, all that is human, all that is kind and all that is righteous. A better world is not really better without the world, that is the Deathstones motto, their creed, their dream, their desire and their mission.
Teacher: Ok class… do you agree that evil is the work of the devil? Please answer
the question Pedro.
Pedro: No Maam… I don’t agree. In the Philippines evil is not the work of the
devil because the devil is unemployed.
childwar chronix...para sa mga suicidal na estudyante
Originally Posted by k9
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