In-flight announcements

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Airline Cabin Announcements: All too rarely, airline attendants make an
effort to make the in flight 'safety lecture' and announcements a bit more
entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:

CONTINENTAL AIRLINES
On a Continental Flight with a very 'senior' flight attendant crew, the
pilot said, 'Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and
will
be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance
the appearance of
your flight attendants.'


JAPANAIR LINES
'In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from
the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If
you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before
assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child,
pick your
favorite.'


BRITISH AIRWAYS
'As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings.
Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight
attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses.'


AMERICAN AIRLINES
Overheard on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo, Texas, on a
particularly windy and bumpy day: During the final approach, the Captain
was really having to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight
Attendant said, 'Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo.Please remain in
your seats with your
seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what's
left of our airplane to the gate!'


QANTAS AIRWAYS
Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: 'We
ask
you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroobounces us to the terminal.'


NORTHWEST AIRLINES
After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis,
a
flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced, 'Please take care when
opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure
as hell everything has shifted.'



PHILIPPINE AIRLINES
We're now preparing to land at San Francisco International Airport. Kindly
straighten up your seats, turn off all electronic gadgets, pull up your
window shades and buckle up for safety. We hope you enjoyed flying with us
as much as we did.

Sa wikang atin po, tayo po ay papalapag na sa paliparang pangkalawakang
internasyonal ng San
Francisco. Paalala po lamang sa ating mga kababayan --
ang mga unan, kumot, headset at iba pang kagamitan sa eroplano ay di po
kasama sa pasalubong.

[jo-anne]

funny... true bitaw pud na ke sumtyms mga pinoys mahilig ug pandala ug mga gamit like sa plane, hotels etc... hahaha

[JSL]

btaw true gyud ni