During a transcontinental flight, a passenger looked out the window and noticed that two of the jet's engines were on fire. He began shouting that the engines were on fire, and pretty soon the rest of the passengers were in the throes of panic. Whereupon the pilot appeared in the doorway to the passenger compartment with a parachute strapped to his back.
"Don't worry, folks," he said cheerfully. "I'm going for help!"