tickle your funny bone

[r_O_s]

---

HONEYMOON:

Wife: Dear, ano regalo mo sa 25th Anniversary natin?
Husband: Dalhin kita sa Africa ...
Wife: Wow! How sweet naman... eh!? sa 50th Anniversary natin?
Husband: Susunduin na kita!

____________________________________________

A chinese and Steven Spielberg were drunk in a bar...
Spielberg hit the chinese...
Chinese: why you hit me?
Spielberg: coz you bombed Pearl Harbor, my father died there.
Chinese: but I am chinese not Japanese, stupid!
Spielberg: Japanese, Vietnamese, Chinese... all the same!
... chinese punched Spielberg
Spielberg: why you hit me too?
Chinese: Thats for the sinking of TITANIC.
Spielberg: but the Titanic was sunk by an iceberg, you fool!
Chinese: Iceberg, Carlsberg, Spielberg... you are all the same!!

_________________________________

Guro: cno c jose rizal?
Juan: D ko po kilala.
Guro: Ikaw pepe?
Pepe: D rin po.
Guro: D nyo kilala c jose rizal?
Pedro: Ma'm, baka po s kabilang section sya!

______________________

Juan: San ka galing?
Pedro: sementeryo, libing ng byenan ko.
Juan: E bakit puro kamot ang mukha at braso mo?
Pedro: Mahirap ilibing eh... Lumalaban!!

_______________________

Two nurses on duty...
Nurse 1: Hoy! Gaga, bakit may thermometer sa tenga mo!
Nurse 2: Ha? susmaryosep! kaninong pwet ko kaya naiwan yung ballpen ko!!
***waaaah****
__________________________

a mental patient is singing while lying on a hospital bed. after a song
dumapa sya
the nurse asked..."O, bakit ka bumaliktad?"
he answered: "Adik ka ba?! Side B na kaya!"

______________________________

Farmer: lalaki na talaga ang aking anak kasi magsasaka na, "ano ang plano
mong itanim sa sakahan mo anak?"
Anak: flowers papa! lots of Bongacious Flowers!!
Ama: Hoy! Huwag kang babakla bakla ha?
Anak: Hindi po Itay, pupunta nga ako ng basketbolan eh!
Ama: Yan! Astig!
Anak: Inay? nakita mo yung POMPOMS ko?
Ina: Alin? yung pink?

________________________________

Mommy 1: Ano ang pinapainom mo sa baby mo?
Mommy2: Promil para Matatag na Pangarap! eh ikaw?
Mommy3: Ako? Emperador, sa Totoong Tagumpay!

__________________________________

[r_O_s]

Population policies of countries:
China: Stop at 1 child.
Singapore : Stop at 2 children
Phil: STOP AT 4 A.M.!

_____________________

RUSSIAN: we're 1st in space
USA: we're 1st in the moon
ERAP: we'll be the 1st in the sun
USA: you can't go there, you'll burn
ERAP: we're not stupid, we'll go there at NIGHT!

________________

Ano kadalasan ang sinasabi kapag nautot?
American: Excuse me.
British: Pardon me.
Pinoy: NOT ME!

finally, ANG MARRIED LIFE....

May isang intsik na sa sobrang hilig sa karaoke ay
inabot ng 5 am.
Dahil sa takot mabugbog ni misis, nag-text ng:
"HUWAG KA BAYAD RANSOM. NAKATAKAS AKO. UWI NA KO!"

[kornyedison_143]

heheheeheh nice!

[Genocide]

HAHA!

[vladmire]

LOL

[JOREN]

hahaha,, nice one dude,, lingawa nako oy,,keep posting