HELP Gusto BF's Mommy Kuyog Ko o Dili?

[-M-J-]

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A week ago nagplano mi (family sa akong uyab) nga mangadto ug Bantayan kay na.ay taga gawas nga moabot sa ilang side...

Dn nadaun jud ang plano, dn d day before mi manglarga kay nagsabot jud mi sa akong bf nga kuyog jud ko... para maklaro ang schedule n ask xa sa iyang mommy f unsay plano sa oras ugma kay para ako sab makapreparar kay lag.u man au mi ug balay, ang nakasabotan na unta jud kay kuyog ko... kadtong nagplano plano pa cla g ask ko sa iyang mommy f kuyog bako... dn of course n ando ko...

diri na nagsugod ang story...


nana mi sa clinic...

MOM: musta ga' mana mo'g kaon ni mae?
BOY: mana mi, nya mi unsa'y plano ugma N mae bah...
MOM: huh? ugma ga' ngano d.i
BOY: sa Bantayan mi bah...
MOM: aw mokuyog d.i ka namo ugma sa Bantayan mae?

---- dba gasabot naman ming tanan?!... Y ana man ang pangutana sa iyang mommy dn with matching sad facial look pa jud...---
---- akong bf ganahan ta jud nga kuyog ko, n atras ko ug kuyog sa rason nga na feel nako nga d gusto iyang mommy nga uban ko well n fact xa pa gani nag ingon nga na.a ko sa lista sa mga mokuyog... sakto ba akong na feel ingon akong uyab sensitive ra daw au ko...---
--- kung ganahan jud xa nga kuyog ko y man nga mo ask pa xa nako ug sa makaduha nga mana man mi ug sabot nga kuyog ko---
--- nag away mi ron sa akong bf kay n storya ko niya about ani sa iyang mommy---

[diem]

[color=navy]Questions lang po for clarification. Hope you can answer.

1) How many months/years na kayo with your boyfriend?
2) Did your boyfriend inform his mom beforehand (like pila ka days/weeks before the outing) that you will be coming?
3) Whose really in charge of the outing to Bantayan? Who's making all the plans and arrangements? Your boyfriend? Or his mother or another relative?
4) Did your boyfriend's mother really tell you face-to-face that you're among the invited to come? Or did your boyfriend tell you that?

[-M-J-]

answers:
1. mag 1 yr na kami ds month
2.yes kbaw na iyang mom nga kuyog ko.. he informed her already a week before the outing
3.Relatives and his family
4.she told me face to face that I'm invited, and I'm in the list

[diem]

[color=navy]Well I think there are two ways to see this.

I. First, your boyfriend's mother was only teasing you when she asked you that question. You might be overreacting a bit, like your boyfriend said.

II. Second, you're reacting correctly. You are a woman and you've got intuition, too. And your intuition is telling you that your boyfriend's mom didn't really expect you to come with their family outing. Maybe she was expecting you to have enough delicadeza not to come since it is a family gathering and you're not "family" yet.

And what about her invitation to you? It could just have been an empty gesture, in order to entice your boyfriend to come to the family gathering, like a carrot to a rabbit.

All in all, you better steel yourself because this sort of thing is really common, the battle between mothers and their son's women. Girlfriends and wives would always have to contend with the first woman of their men's lives: the mothers.

Maybe someday you would understand when you bore and raised your own sons.

[diem]

[color=navy]I suggest that you should be calm about this. This is to be expected and shouldn't be a source of argument between you and your boyfriend because (your boyfriend being the typical male) he might vent his anger at his mother, their family, and now the family mood of camaraderie would be somewhat ruined.

Of course, you'll be pointed as the cause. Tsk, tsk.

You should be calm and with grace make up some excuse not to come while explaining to your boyfriend that he should spend time with his family first. Spending time together with him can be made for another time.

But if he still insists, and you did get to go with them, then I guess that's your chance to charm Mother dear to your positive qualities. Hopefully you would succeed but even if you didn't, at least you could say you tried with a clear conscience.

I would like you to suggest that you shouldn't be a source of contention and ill will between your boyfriend and his family because it's really inviting bad karma to yourself and maybe to the family that you yourself will raise in the future.

[b]Love is supposed to bring people together in happiness, that includes family as well.

Hoping for your kind consideration.

[-M-J-]

mmmm... this is not the first family outing I could've been with them... In fact I'm very close to their family... His relatives and his dad and his brother were expecting me to come, but because of this I'm forced to back out... Yesterday everybody was asking me the reason for me not coming to the outing... I just told them that I'm expecting my dad to call me today back home... Anyways my bf did go there... in fact by this time he must be enjoying...

[diem]

[color=navy]But are you still confused in regards sa behavior of your boyfriend's mom towards you? Has this sort of thing happened before, in past visits to their home or during similar family occasions or outings? Are you anxious that it might happen again? Do you feel that your boyfriend's mom has looked at you with disfavor recently? Have you ever done anything to make your boyfriend's mother dislike you?

Please do not feel the need to answer these questions publicly here in this forum. I am only asking them for your own private contemplation. For all we know, what happened recently was just a misunderstanding between you and his mom, but then again this could be a sign of something else. Only you can find out and decide truly what it is.

I humbly suggest that you just continue as if nothing happened, but remain observant and careful because you are being observed and evaluated as a person and as a woman.

Sometimes, when we become comfortable we tend to become too casual and forget act out certain customs and manners that might be received as rude and disrespectful by others. I don't think you have done anything wrong, but it isn't a bad idea to take care with what you do and what you say, especially in interacting with your boyfriend's family.

Hoping for your kind consideration I sincerely hope the best for you in Life and in Love

[monrose29]

mae palapus lang nah pikas dung-gan oi..

pila na diay edad sa iyang mama?

ana man jud na mga mother mae.... u know nah outing nya....with relatives.. and blah2x kinda defensive sa iyang boy nga basin ma minyo og sayo or unsa inyong ma buhat ddto.... na-a na gyud na sa pahak sa mga parents.. pero ayaw lang ka ayo seryosoha nah..

yes rejection na imong nga feel inday pero ayaw diddiba.. ma o ra nay hinungdan unya sa inyong break-up.. sayang ang one year iha.. then ang hurt-ache og uban pa..di naka maka lihok og sakto.. kay bother na ka ayo ka sa inyong problema..

ok? pila na gali inyon edad?

[d_boss]

i have similar experienced before and since am a guy so its vice versa from your story: what i did was i went out with another family that will also go to thesame place where they are going, of course they saw me there! know what happened? the mom asked how come u ddnt go with us? my answer was, coz you diddnt let me too. end result is. gipa bulagan ko hehehe! but at least i had fun that time!

bitaw what diem told you is right duha lang jud na ka butang...

nahala mag laag ta og atoa!