Way back on my college psych days, I need to come up with a topic that would fit the theme for the month of FEB. 14.
I know daghan gyud kaayo mangaigo ani and this is from the excerpt from a crazy author.
Mga Bro, we need to understand first the "Genius Failure Paradox"
"The Genius Failure Paradox" is the tendency
for UNUSUALLY intelligent men to have very LOW
levels of success with women and dating.
I assume that if you've read this far, then you
probably see yourself as smarter than the average
guy.
You know that you're a little different than
other guys.
You probably realized at a young age that you
saw things differently and thought differently
than others in school...
And you've probably realized that your smart
mind gives you an advantage over others in many
areas of life...
Your smart mind gives you a particular type of
advantage that can be very, very powerful in life:
YOU'RE USUALLY RIGHT.
Smart people get used to being "right" because
they usually ARE right.
And when you're RIGHT more often than others,
you can get ahead in many situations.
But unfortunately, this smart mind of yours can
actually be WORSE than USELESS when it comes to a
key area of life:
WOMEN AND DATING.
By the way, I did say WORSE than useless.
Of course, it's hard for a smart guy to even
IMAGINE a situation where his smart mind could
HURT his chances for success...
But trust me, this is one of those situations.
So relax, open your smart mind, and let me
share with you the ten reasons why smart guys fail
with women... and what to do about it.
REASON #1: THEY'RE WRONG, BUT THEY CAN'T OR WON'T
SEE IT OR ADMIT IT.
I mentioned that smart guys are used to being
RIGHT in most situations.
And what do most smart guys do when they come
across a situation where they're WRONG?
They find a new situation... one that fits
their strength. They know they'll be right next
time, so they just walk away... knowing that it
won't be long before they're right again.
(OR they let the "problem situation" destroy
them... more on that later.)
Well, the EVIL about being wrong when it comes
to women and dating is THERE'S NOWHERE TO RUN AND
HIDE.
There's no quick "I'm right" around the next
corner to make you feel better.
It only takes "failing" with a few women in a
row for a smart guy to see the pattern... and
realize that something isn't working.
Solution? Think harder.
A smart guy just assumes that his logic must be
good... so he just keeps thinking harder.
But when no success comes, it really starts to
become mentally difficult.
Accepting that you're wrong is a VERY hard
thing for a "smart guy" to do.
Accepting that you're not only wrong, but you
have NO CLUE WHERE TO EVEN START is even more
difficult.
Ultimately, many smart guys come up with the
following logical conclusion:
"Genius ko nga Laki, kung dili gani nako kaya solbaron ning problema bahin chicks ug dating,
then the problem is not worth solving."
Try that on for a self-defeating idea.
REASON #2: THEY'RE BLIND AND ARROGANT.
In short, many smart guys refuse to accept that
a good, solid, workable answer could come from
someone "dumber" than them, so they discount any
idea that comes from an "obviously less
intelligent person" before trying it.
Let me ask you a question:
Kung musulod ka aning delikado lugar nga dili nimo swito, would you rather have a guide be the
guy on this planet with the highest I.Q.or isa ka tambay nga naniguwang nalang anang lugara nga niagi ug pagka basag-ulo, rambol, laklak sa kanto, etc?
It's an interesting question.
Now, hopefully you'd like to have the guide who
isn't the smartest guy around... but who has
escaped from many, many dangerous situations with
deadly animals...este...kuyhaw nga mga tawo
But now let me ask you:
If you'd like to learn how to be more
successful with women and dating, would you take
advice from a guy who isn't very intelligent, but
who knows how to attract women?
There's something about being smart that makes
some guys unwilling to accept input, ideas, or
instruction from anyone who isn't either as smart
or smarter than them.
Well, any SMART GUY can see the folly in this
particular approach... once it's examined closely.
If you've been making this mistake, then you
need to STOP IT. Stop being an arrogant bastard,
and open your eyes.
Look around.
Learn from some "dumb" guys... and let them
teach you how to get what you REALLY want.
REASON #3: POOR SOCIAL SKILLS.
It BLOWS MY MIND how many smart guys I meet
that just don't GET IT when it comes to basic
social skills.
(Labi na ning mga kaila nga ang mga edad hapit na mulapas sa kalendaryo then sige nalang
ug DOTA 16hrs/day, tua ra sa internet cafe nagbabad...then manguyab nalang kalit....finally! They've reached their puberty at last, hahahahaha)
They have all the logical reasons that
social skills are for lower beings who only watch telenovela...
and not worth the time it would take
to learn them.
In fact, I believe that there are a lot of
smart guys running around this planet who don't
even have "social skills" and "be a cool guy that
people like" in their MENTAL MODEL of what it
could possibly take to be successful with women
and dating.
Social skills are just that... SKILLS.
They're not social INFORMATION.
They're not social THEORIES.
They're social SKILLS.
And you don't get them by THINKING about them.
You get them by GETTING them.
Excellent social skills are the foundation for
good communication with other humans... and if you
don't have good social skills, you dramatically
lower your chances for success with women.
Note: Social Skills applies to every aspect towards life like job hunting, making friends.
REASON #4: THEY PSYCH THEMSELVES OUT.
Smart guys do something that fascinates the
heck out of me...
They come up with all the reasons why
everything WON'T WORK when it comes to women and
dating.
They actually figure out why what it is that
they would like to do will probably fail...
They use their amazing creative imaginations to
imagine all kinds of horrible pictures and
scenes... and then they use those imaginary
outcomes to create negative emotions... which
ultimately stop them from having success with
women and dating.
THEY DON'T EVEN TRY.
Now, if you've thought something through and
come up with a good reason why it would fail, it
makes sense to not do it, right?
I mean, why would you want to do things that
are going to fail?
It is sound logic, but HORRIBLE thinking when
it comes to the REAL WORLD... and success with
women.
Because smart guys don't UNDERSTAND women, and
they don't UNDERSTAND what it takes to be
successful with women, they are working with bad
figures. They're wrong before they even start
figuring!
Using your mind to come up with all the reasons
why things won't work in this area of your life
leads to ULTIMATE FAILURE.
You must learn to overcome this habit if you
have it.
REASON #5: THEY SEEK ONLY "INFORMATIONAL
SOLUTIONS"
What does a smart guy do when he runs into a
problem... or he needs to figure something out?
He looks for INFORMATION to help him solve the
problem.
MORE INFORMATION is always the answer.
Information is the friend of a smart guy.
Got a strange virus on your computer? Just hop
on the Internet and search for how to eliminate
it.
Don't know how to change the alternator on your
car? No prob. Just buy the manual and turn to page
147.
Don't know the definition of a word? Open up
your dictionary.
MORE INFORMATION solves the problem.
So what do smart guys do when it comes to
overcoming a problem with women?
They want MORE INFORMATION.
They think the answer lies in learning just ONE
MORE TECHNIQUE... or one more magic concept.
Well what if there were a situation in life
where the "get more information" strategy actually
made things WORSE?
How would you even know that it was making
things worse?
Now, I don't want to suggest that learning more
about how to be successful with women is a bad
thing. It's not.
But if you have a problem that is EMOTIONAL or
PHYSICAL in nature, then reading theories on it
probably isn't going to help you
very much.
You need to get out in the real world and try
some stuff!
You need to look at the REAL problem... the
ROOT of the problem.
When it comes to women and dating, there's a
very good chance that you have MORE than enough
"information".
Smart guys often use "more information" to
distract them from TAKING ACTION.
I've heard this referred to as "Creative
Avoidance".
Nod silently if you've ever figured out a
creative way to avoid facing something in your
life.
Good, thank you.
REASON #6: THEY FOCUS ON LOGIC INSTEAD OF EMOTION.
NEWS JUST IN: Women don't feel ATTRACTION for
men who make them THINK.
Women feel ATTRACTION for men who make them
FEEL.
So what do most smart guys do when they first
meet a woman?
They get into a LOGICAL CONVERSATION.
Smart men try to engage women in LOGICAL
conversations and interactions because that's
where THEY feel comfortable... not knowing that
they're SHOOTING THEMSELVES IN THE FOOT by doing
it!
Get this: Bisag mamuti nalang ang balhibo sa uwak you wont
make a woman feel ATTRACTION for you by
engaging her in logical conversation.
When you start a logical conversation with a
woman you've just met, you are basically taking
out a NEON SIGN that says,
"Dili ko ka-gets when it comes to chikas"
ug gipilit sa imong agtang.
Logical conversations include talking
about math, metaphysics.
Also the geeky topics like:
Processor requirements to play Ragnarok, DOTA, advantage ni Lich King vs Razor, hellspawn, etc.
On the other hand, if you start talking to a
woman and you say:
"OK, so tell me something...nganong kadaghanan sa mga bae muingon nga gusto nila sweet,
nice guys... but they all date kay kasagaran mga yagit, selfish, bad
boys?"
(And then make fun of any answer she gives)
Now you're having an EMOTIONAL conversation.
If you don't know what I'm talking about, keep
reading. You need more help than I thought.
REASON #7: THEY'RE NOT USED TO THE CHALLENGE OF
THE MOMENT
Smart people usually have time to THINK about
things.
If you're taking a test, you can sit there and
work out the answers.
If you have a math problem, you can work on it
until you've figured it out.
If you're trying to fix something, you can keep
working on it until it's fixed.
Smart guys are used to being able to take at
least a LITTLE bit of time to prepare and show off
their "good sides" in most situations.
Not so with women...
If you don't know what to do at every step
along the way, you'll be shut down very quickly.
Women have an AMAZING "WALA SIYA KA-GETS" radar
system.
Really...kuyhaw!!!
Women have all kinds of ingenious
tests that they throw at men to separate the
"I LIKE THIS GUY" from the "WAY PULOS NGA LAKI".
And if you don't get it, then you're going to
fail one of these tests VERY quickly.
But the worst part is that you won't ever KNOW
that you were being tested... OR that you failed.
Smart guys aren't used to dealing with complex
EMOTIONAL and COMMUNICATION challenges in the
moment... and especially the "women and dating"
kind.
REASON #8: THEY THINK THAT DOING "NICE" THINGS IS
THE "SMART WAY"
OK, let me ask you a trick question:
If I told you that you were going to have a
date with Ara Mina or Hart Evangelista or si Pokwang....hehehehe
Which of the following would you choose as a "smart" way of
preparing:
1) Find out what her favorite type of flowers are,
and show up with a dozen of them so she would be
"wowed".
2) Learn about her favorite travel destination so
you could discuss it with her.
3) Find out what her favorite type of food is so
you could take her to dinner... and she could see
that you cared enough to choose something that she
enjoyed.
OK, time's up. Which did you choose?
Now, I already mentioned that this was a TRICK
question.
The answer is NONE OF THE ABOVE.
NGANO MAN??
These three options all seemed logical, right?
I mean, why WOULDN'T you want to show up with
her favorite flowers?
Why WOULDN'T you want to talk about to her
about her favorite places to travel?
Why WOULDN'T you want to take her to eat her
favorite foods so she enjoyed herself?
Go with me here...
Smart guys think that they're being CLEVER when
they do things like buying a woman her favorite
flowers... and bringing them to the FIRST DATE.
Right?
In their minds they're thinking, "I'm going to
be the guy who is thinking ahead... and I'm going
to show up with the flowers that I KNOW she
loves... and she's going to see them and like me
more because of it".
Makes sense... good math, right?
Well the one small mistake that these
"smart" guys make is not realizing that it doesn't
actually take a smart person to think like this!
And guess what?
WOMEN KNOW THIS!
And guess what else?
EVERY WUSSYBOY DOES THIS STUFF.
An intelligent guy, in his proud arrogance,
will think he's being such the charmer by using
this "thoughtful" approach...
...and the woman he is chasing will interpret
it as just another Wussy who's trying to
MANIPULATE her.
Ouch. Another blow to intelligence.
MISTAKE #9: THEY ALWAYS NEED TO BE THE EXPERT
Have you ever met a smart guy who always needed
to be "right"?
"Kaning feeling correct ba in all talks and topics".
Have you ever met someone who would actually
argue with you about something they knew nothing
about... and make a fool of themselves because
they just couldn't shut their "smart mouths"?
Smart guys don't like to be "beginners" at
ANYTHING.
They don't like the idea of screwing up...
especially if others are watching.
They want to maintain this "smart guy" image of
themselves... so they try to always be "The
Expert" at whatever they do.
Instead of saying, "Hey, bag-o baya ko aning butanga, patudlo ko beh? Unsaon man ni?"....
.... they will choose a path not to risk embarrassment, failure, or
others thinking that they're beginners... so they
wind up ultimately FAILING.
It's OK to be a beginner.
MISTAKE #10: THEY CAN'T DEAL WITH FEAR AND OTHER
EMOTIONS
A smart guy's STRENGTH is his MIND.
His WEAKNESS is often his EMOTIONS.
Smart guys are often IMMOBILIZED by FEAR.
Kurog sa kahadlok.
FROZEN.
And since many smart guys aren't comfortable
dealing with things they're not good at, they just
repress or RUN away from fear.
Many men would rather DIE in lonely isolation
than admit that they don't know how to deal with
their emotions or ask for help!
Bato-bato sa langit, ang matamaan huwag magalit,
PEACE!!