Husband cheating, should you tell wife.

[Onins]

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How could he not be part of the problem when he knows a part of it? And how could he call himself a true friend when he won't at least talk to one of them? Say, the husband?

Why the change in tune? I though you said emphatically that the author must tell the wife what he knows lest he commits the sin of omission? Make up your mind, talk to either/both or tell the wife directly?

What are you?! Just Good Weather Friends?!

There are so many definition of a friend, its subjective. Im sure there are friends who are not home-wrecker... the kind who weighs things and sees the whole picture.

[Ms.Beau]

basta ako, kung friends gali mo nako (married mo ha) then isa sa inyu ang nakipag affair nga kabalo ko, mao to akong stand. i will not be the one to break the news to your spouse, but if he/she asks me, I WILL TELL THE TRUTH. that's my moral responsibility to her/him and to myself.

[Streetcar]

Mao na filipino mentality daghay pakialamero/pakialamera mao na gubot pirmi. In America, with that kind of problem, they'll strongly tell you its none of your business. Even here, you do not see your neighbors and if you do, you only say hi and that's it. As it applies to this, same thing, its their life. Ayaw apil apil anang problema sa uban. Even closer cousins or in-laws wont pakialam knowing it will just ruin their life. So why would you, a friend? not unless you are the one having the affair with either one so that's your problem and dare you kung ing ana sab ang situation pero in your situation no wa man gyud ka labot ana bisan unsaon you are not directly involve you just happen to be a friend, close or not, still just a friend. Let's hope they realize what they've done sila ra ma ka solve ana sab.

[Ms.Beau]

ako mai, if i were married na, i would appreciate it if a friend would tell me the truth if i ask her/him.

[dexterdal]

ako mai, if i were married na, i would appreciate it if a friend would tell me the truth if i ask her/him.

hehehehe, basin in the end. mag away ra mo tungod ni sumbong imong friend nimo. Basin imo syang pasanginlan na tungod sa iyang sumbong nag buwag mo sa imong bana.

[Streetcar]

ako mai, if i were married na, i would appreciate it if a friend would tell me the truth if i ask her/him.

for me friendship is unconditional, there are things as friends that i should do and not do and if i know its going to cause you pain, as a friend, i will not be the one to break the news.

[Ms.Beau]

hehehehe, basin in the end. mag away ra mo tungod ni sumbong imong friend nimo. Basin imo syang pasanginlan na tungod sa iyang sumbong nag buwag mo sa imong bana.

hmmmm something's wrong if i actually did that. that would mean i resorted to blaming somebody else when i should have taken responsibility for my decisions. after learning about the affair, what did i do? what were my decisions? it has to be ME and MY DECISIONS, not because of my friend or foe nga nisumbong. if i were to blame others, then all it would take is a rumor of an affair and you'll find me saying, "that did it. that ruined my marriage." lame, lame, lame.

[dexterdal]

Why the change in tune? I though you said emphatically that the author must tell the wife what he knows lest he commits the sin of omission? Make up your mind, talk to either/both or tell the wife directly?

There are so many definition of a friend, its subjective. Im sure there are friends who are not home-wrecker... the kind who weighs things and sees the whole picture.

kana gyud bai onis, d ba basta mag inom ta... atong mga secret... d btaw ko mo sumbong ni onet. hahahhahahaha (joke ra net ha! )

[Ms.Beau]

for me friendship is unconditional, there are things as friends that i should do and not do and if i know its going to cause you pain, as a friend, i will not be the one to break the news.

right, mai. in my case, i take it positively if you would tell me about my hubby's affair. YOU will not hurt me, the news will. but what is the pain compared to not knowing and living a lie? that's why i really think it's helpful for me kay i can then make informed decisions. and no friend of mine will feel guilty of whatever outcome they'll see, coz i don't play the blame game. again, it's ME and MY DECISIONS. heck, God can drop the news in my head if He chooses...would that mean He is to blame? Duklon jud siguro ko sa ginoo hehe jowk.

so i guess it depends now on the person. so if i have a friend who wouldn't welcome any truth-telling from me regarding things considered very personal, then i will respect that.

hmmmm di ko minyo pero it's good to play the what-if game sad sa...not only ask but play it to the end. so there, that's my answer.

[Streetcar]

right ms. beau, for us its just a what if game what if its us kaha what if its our husband doing that by then it would not matter i guess where the news comes from but at least it did not come from me if i were the friend. Oftentimes, they'll find out for themselves maybe due to the husband's carelessness about the affair like i said, walay secret nga matago gyud. And the husband who is having an affair and the wife who loves him might not even believe it so i'll take the high road and not tell anything. If it was me though, if someone tells me my husband is having an affair, i probably wont jump into that right away i'll do my own detective work, hehehe and if its true, nah better be prepared kay putlan nako ug kuan, lol.