Merged: Jokes

[sweet16]

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hahaha katogon onta ko pro na ala akong katogon ky naka basa mn ko heheheheh

[psyche_08]

There was a Blonde, a Brunette, and a Redhead standing on the beach.
They had decided the previous evening whilst in the pub to try and swim the English channel. After some dicussion, they decided the quickest way would be to do the breast stroke, so off they set.
One day later the Redhead reached the French coast. Having lost sight of the other two swimmers just off the English coast she decided that they couldn't be far behind so sat on the beach looking out to sea waiting for the other two. After a cold night of waiting, the Brunette finally came into sight. "What took you so long?" inquired the Redhead.
"There were some strong currents out there! But I'm here now! Am I the last?" replied the Brunette. "No. Blondie is still out there somewhere." They decided to wait. Day after day the two swimmers sat on the beach until on the 5th day Blondie came into view. Once on dry land the Brunette asked the blonde "What took you so long?"
"What do you expect? You guy's cheated, replied the blonde, "You used your hands!"

[boliklik]

Nag-o-order ng breakfast yung bagong saltang Pinoy sa isang coffee shop sa Manhattan...

Waiter: What kind of coffee would you like, regular or decaf?
Pinoy: No... Big cup! Big cup!

Waiter: What would you like for your breakfast?
Pinoy: Hameneggs

Waiter: And how do you like your eggs, sir?
Pinoy: Yes, tenkyu, I like dem beri much

Waiter: No sir, I mean how would you like them cooked?
Pinoy: Yes, tenkyu, I wud like dem cooked.

Waiter: (with increasing impatience) Would you like your eggs... fried, poached, hard boiled, or soft boiled?
Pinoy: (with increasing uneasiness) Yes, one fried en one hard boiled or sop boiled.

Waiter: And what bread would you like?
Pinoy: Begyurpardon?
Waiter: What kind of bread would you like.. white? rye? whole wheat? toast?
Pinoy: Pan Amercano...
Waiter: We don't have that...
Pinoy: Okey. Gib me Taystee...
Waiter: We don't have that either, sir...
Pinoy: Do you heb pan de lemon or bonete?
Waiter: Sir, you are wasting my time... I shall ask for the last time, what would you like for breakfast?
Pinoy: Donut plis...

[boliklik]

Kinabukasan, bumalik yung Pinoy sa restaurant at umupo sa isang table na kalapit ang isa ring customer na Pinoy rin, kaya lang matagal na sya sa America ("oldtimer" na.

Pinoy: (thinking to himself) Alam ko na! Gagayahin ko na lang ang order niya.

Dumating na yung kani-kanilang waiter...

Waiter: Sir, what would you like to order?
Customer: Ham and Eggs, please!
Pinoy: (speaking to his own waiter) Ham en eeggs, plis!

Waiter: How would you like your eggs, sir?
Customer: Over-easy
Pinoy: Uber-eesee!

(Napatingin sapagkat nakahalata na yung customer na "oldtimer")

Waiter: Anything else, sir?
Customer: Some pancakes, too.
Pinoy: Sam pangkiks, tu!

(Napatingin ulit yung customer)

Waiter: Anything to drink?
Customer: A large orange juice.
Pinoy: E lards urinds dsus!

(Napipikon na yung customer)

Waiter: Is there anything else I can bring you?
Customer: Can you get me a hot towel?
Pinoy: Witir! Hat tawil!
Customer: (really peeved) Ano ka ba! niloloko mo ba ako? Bakit mo ginagaya ang lahat ng order ko?
Pinoy: Bakit? Ikaw lang ba ang kumakain ng hot towel?

[boliklik]

Sandy began a job as an elementary school counselor and she was eager to help. One day during recess she noticed a girl standing by herself on one side of a playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of soccer at the other.
Sandy approached and asked if she was all right.
The girl said she was.
A little while later, however, Sandy noticed the girl was in the same spot, still by herself.
Approaching again, Sandy offered, "Would you like me to be your friend?"
The girl hesitated, then said, "Okay," looking at the woman suspiciously.
Feeling she was making progress, Sandy then asked, "Why are you standing here all alone?"
"Because," the little girl said with great exasperation, "I'm the goalie!"

[khailee]

CHOICES

JOKES************JOKES**************JOKES********* ******

dad: anak, bili moko ng softdrinks..
anak: coke o pepsi..
dad: coke..
anak: diet o reg?...
dad: reg...
anak: bote o can?..
dad: bote..
anak: 8oz o litro?...
dad: punyeta! tubig nalang...
anak: natural o mineral?..
dad: mineral..
anak: bugnaw o dli?..
dad: lambosan taman tka aning silhig ron!..
anak: lanot o tokog?

[ares623]

http://www.transbuddha.com/mediaHolder.php?id=1019

[gregsin]

TULO SULOD SA SINEHAN
Si Bungol, si Libat ug si Buta nagsabot nga manan-aw sila ug sine kay wala pa gayud sila kasud ug sinehan sukad-sukad. Maong sa paglingkud nila sa sulod sa Vision Theater:

Bungol: (misyagit) Balik pulta, walay sound, walay sound hoy psssst!

Libat: (misyagit sab) Kuwadro! Kuwadro!

Buta: Hoy mga kolokoy! Wala pa gani magsugod!

[otis]

[img width=600 height=450]http://img422.imageshack.us/img422/8619/611295998348uh4ff.jpg[/img]

[jeppoy]

hehehehehe...."We Repiar" jud..hehehehe.. NICE