CaLLCenTeR BLooPeRs

[clinically.dead]

---

Another set of three, same source.

So Slow It Hertz

Spoiler! 

Caller: “Hi, I think there’s a bug on your website. I can’t log into my account”

Me: “Okay, that may be a bug. Let me get some basic information from you. What internet browser are you using?”

Caller: “What’s a browser?”

Me: “That’s what you use to surf the Internet. Popular browsers are Internet Explorer and Firefox.”

Caller: “Oh. I think I’m using Yahoo.”

Me: “That’s a search engine.

Caller: “Ask.com?”

Me: “That’s another search engine. I need to know what browser you use to get to that website.”

Caller: “Oh, I think I know what you mean. I’m using Hotmail.”

(This goes on for about 10 minutes. Eventually, we locate the bug. While I’m writing up the report, I’m making small-talk with the customer.)

Me: “You said you’re in college? What do you study?”

Caller: “Computer science. I’m really good at it!”

Off-Handed Comment

Spoiler! 

Caller: “Hi, I’ve placed an order some weeks back and I’m just chasing up when it might be delivered.”

Me: “Certainly, just bear with me a moment. I’ll just need to track it on the computer.”

(I proceed to log on to the order system, having a bit of difficulty as I’m only able to type with one hand while the other holds the phone.)

Me: “Sorry, bear with me a moment, it’s quite difficult to type with one hand.”

Caller: *in a sincere tone* “Why have you only got one hand?”

Charged Up With Anger–If Nothing Else

Spoiler! 

Me: “Thank you for calling [company]. May I have your first and last name, please?”

Caller: “You people sent me a broken phone! I just got this phone from you people Friday and have charged it all f****** weekend and when I take it off the charger, it just dies! I want my money back and you better give me a new phone!”

Me: “Well ma’am, it would be my pleasure to assist you in trying to troubleshoot–”

Caller: “I don’t want no damn troubleshooting! I want a new phone! Now!”

Me: “I’ll be more than happy to get you a new phone but I first need some numbers from inside your phone to process the request. Can you please remove the back of the phone and remove the battery for me?”

Caller: “D*** straight you’ll get me a new phone!” *noise of fiddling with the battery cover* “You people try to rip good folk off and squeeze every dime you leeching-” *pause* “Oh. My. God.”

Me: “Ma’am, you never placed the battery into the phone when you opened the box, did you?”

Caller: “Is that what the little black square thing is? Oh shucks, I’ll take care of it now. Bye!”

[yiennahs]

CS: Alright, let me verify that... Was that a "G" as in golf?
Cust (with a different accent): NO! That was a "G" as! in GEBRA! (z as in zebra)
Oh, Gebra!!! like the one in the Goo?!!!... Gusme... Gon't gou get git?)

.................................................. ..............................................

CS: Yeah, sir... sir... are you there?
Cust: Yes, yes, I'm there!
(Nagduwa cgurog Counter...)

.................................................. ...............................................

CS: ...I'd like to speak with Billy Thompson please
Contact: He's not in. Would you like to leave a message in his voicemail?
CS: Sure, SIGE...
(excited!!!)

.................................................. .............

customer: this file is totally broken, verifying and rebuilding the file doesnt help, what should we do, we badly ned the file and we need to keep the business runnin..(etc.etc.etc..)

agent: ma'am, don't worry. this will fixed in time, trust me...

customer: ok...

agent: ok ma'am, here's what we gonna do....close your eyes, and join me as we pray....

(daaa paman!!)

the best ang last! the best jud nyahahaahahha

[yiennahs]

cs: thank you for calling (company name) this is jesus, if jesus cant help you then no one can.. how can i help?


hahaha

hahahahha ana!

[yiennahs]

Another set of three, same source.

So Slow It Hertz

Spoiler! 

Caller: “Hi, I think there’s a bug on your website. I can’t log into my account”

Me: “Okay, that may be a bug. Let me get some basic information from you. What internet browser are you using?”

Caller: “What’s a browser?”

Me: “That’s what you use to surf the Internet. Popular browsers are Internet Explorer and Firefox.”

Caller: “Oh. I think I’m using Yahoo.”

Me: “That’s a search engine.

Caller: “Ask.com?”

Me: “That’s another search engine. I need to know what browser you use to get to that website.”

Caller: “Oh, I think I know what you mean. I’m using Hotmail.”

(This goes on for about 10 minutes. Eventually, we locate the bug. While I’m writing up the report, I’m making small-talk with the customer.)

Me: “You said you’re in college? What do you study?”

Caller: “Computer science. I’m really good at it!”

Off-Handed Comment

Spoiler! 

Caller: “Hi, I’ve placed an order some weeks back and I’m just chasing up when it might be delivered.”

Me: “Certainly, just bear with me a moment. I’ll just need to track it on the computer.”

(I proceed to log on to the order system, having a bit of difficulty as I’m only able to type with one hand while the other holds the phone.)

Me: “Sorry, bear with me a moment, it’s quite difficult to type with one hand.”

Caller: *in a sincere tone* “Why have you only got one hand?”

Charged Up With Anger–If Nothing Else

Spoiler! 

Me: “Thank you for calling [company]. May I have your first and last name, please?”

Caller: “You people sent me a broken phone! I just got this phone from you people Friday and have charged it all f****** weekend and when I take it off the charger, it just dies! I want my money back and you better give me a new phone!”

Me: “Well ma’am, it would be my pleasure to assist you in trying to troubleshoot–”

Caller: “I don’t want no damn troubleshooting! I want a new phone! Now!”

Me: “I’ll be more than happy to get you a new phone but I first need some numbers from inside your phone to process the request. Can you please remove the back of the phone and remove the battery for me?”

Caller: “D*** straight you’ll get me a new phone!” *noise of fiddling with the battery cover* “You people try to rip good folk off and squeeze every dime you leeching-” *pause* “Oh. My. God.”

Me: “Ma’am, you never placed the battery into the phone when you opened the box, did you?”

Caller: “Is that what the little black square thing is? Oh shucks, I’ll take care of it now. Bye!”

lol! teh best! hahahahhahahhhha tnx Clinically dead hehhhe

[- khenz -]

outbound agent trying to convince an existing cx to renew their subscription...

agentwith a carabaw accent)

"are you soore ma'am you don't want to renew hmm?"

cx: "ahmm its okay you can just cancel it dear"

agent: "are you soore ma'am hmm? its por pree ok?"

cx: "no no dear"

agent: "aw ikaw"

cx: "excuse me?"

lingaw ui..." AW IKAW".. lol

[siopao1984]

from my own experience

naa ko sa una kasakay before sa 17C na dyip na taga convergys, then nibayad ang taga convergys sa driver

CVG employee: pls ko bayad (naghatag 20 pesos)
Driver: asa ni gikan?
CVG employee: seyn syeng kow (sanciangko)
Driver: asa?
CVG employee: seyn syeng kow

na gets gyud sa driver na gikan sanciangko

Driver: asa man naog?
CVG employee: ay chi
Driver: asa?
CVG employee: ay chi. ay chi park (IT Park)

perteng pugong ko sa akong katawa

[clinically.dead]

^ Hahaha. OMG. If I had been the one who overheard that, I don't think I can hold back my laughter.

[siopao1984]

^ Hahaha. OMG. If I had been the one who overheard that, I don't think I can hold back my laughter.

basaha usab with american accent. heheh.

[rodznickz]

customer: what part in the "pilifins" r u from?
agent: currently we are based here on cebu mam...
customer: Ah! taga cebu diay ka?!
agent: (out of nowhere) o (mute: aw.aw.piste!!!)
customer: mao bah... sus dong batia dri australia dong oie! gutom kaau! way saging ug kamote!


omg.

hahahahaha ataya ani uie!! bisdak man pud d.i ang caller...sakita saq tiyan cgeg katawa,

[dr.drey]

na a pd Q for cucomber

yaw nyo kalimti ang Q for cutix...