Life

[j_cainglet]

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hahha..da!da! generous sad diay and baye sad..heheh

[potterboy]

use the husband's toot lagi. hehehehe! nice one!

[emokidstuff]

environment friendly ang girl....hehehhhe...recyle....

[jmbernz]

wahaha..wla nman gud gigamit c daddy...

[uzumaki]

atik2x ra jed to oi klareks kaau hahaha discarti jed

[i_a_m_d_e_d_e]

Subject: JOKE JOKE JOKE!!!


Juan was having a serious problem. He had an important meeting and could not find a parking space. Looking up toward heaven, he said, "Lord, take pity on me. If You find me a parking space I will go to mass every Sunday and give up women."

Miraculously, a parking space appeared. Juan looked up again and said, "Never mind. I found one."

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Students talking:

DLSU: Your tuition, it is just my allowance for a week

Ateneo: Your tuition, it is just my allowance for a day.

UP: Pootek! Finals nyo, seatwork lang namin!

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Seksing girl naglalakad sa Glorietta, nakalabas ang isang suso..

Napansin ng isang lalaki. "Miss, yung dede mo nakalabas."

Seksi: "P**i**a! Yung baby ko, naiwan sa taxi!"

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"Pare, nagaway kami ng GF ko."

"Bakit naman?"

"She asked for a gift, sabi nya kahit ano basta may diamond."

"Ayun naman pala e. Ano binigay mo?"

"Baraha!"

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Pasaway na lyrics: "I decided long ago? never to walk with Edu Manzano?"

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Ina: Anak! Dumudugo daliri mo! Akin na't sisipsipin ko.

Dali! Tsup, tsup, tsup! Ayan, wala na! Bakit ka ba nagkasugat?

Anak: Wala po ako sugat. Pinatay ko lang po ang mga garapata ni Brownie.

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Pedro: Miss, pabili nga ng ballpen.

Miss: Sorry po. Wala po kaming ballpen.

Inis na lumabas ng tindahan si Pedro.

Pedro: Susme! PENshoppe, walang ballpen?

Walang kwentang tindahan yan!

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A naked girl rode on a taxi.

"Bakit," the girl asked the driver na nakatitig sa hubad nyang katawan.

"Ngayon ka lang ba nakakita ng hubad at maalindog na katawan?"


Driver: Hindi, miss. Iniisip ko lang kung saan nakatago ang pamasahe mo.

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Mr. Malimali, nanliligaw.

"Fresh flowers for you, galing banyo.. este Baguio! Amuyin mo, amoy panty? Este Pine Tree!"

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A prince was cursed by a witch that he could only speak one word a year.

But if he does not, he could save the words for the next year. One day he saw a pretty princess and fell in love. He waited for ten long years to finally say, "Princess, I love you. I would like to marry you." And the princess replied, "Pardon? Kindly please repeat?"

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Russian: We are the first in space!

USA: We are the first in the moon!

Philippines: We will be the first in the sun!

USA: You can't go there. You will burn.

Philippines: Of course, we know that.

Do you think we're stupid?

That's why we will go there at night!

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Guy1: Pare, gusto kong magpalit ng pangalan.

Guy2: Bakit ano ba ang name mo?

Guy1: Bartolome Putingtae

Guy2: Pangit nga! Ano naman gusto mo ipalit?

Guy1: Bartholomew Putingtae

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Two students were caught naked and having *** in the classroom by the security guard.

Security Guard: Aha! Violating a school policy!
Male Student: Which policy?
Security Guard: Not wearing uniform.

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Dumadaan ang isang pangit na babae sa grupo ng mga umiinom.

Tinukso ng isang lasing yung girl, "Panget!"

Gumanti yung girl, "Lasenggo!"

Sabi ng lasenggo, "Bukas, hindi na ako lasing. Eh, ikaw?"

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Misis: Sir, pwede ba ako manawagan sa istasyon nyo.

Lumayas kasi ang Mister ko, dala ang limang anak ko.

DJ: Sige po, misis.

Misis: Hoy! Tanga! Isa lang dyan ang anak mo. Ibalik mo yung apat!

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Letter to an OFW:

Thank you sa padala mo. Happy si Nene kasi baon nya sa school yung Tobleron. Yung Nike, suot na ni Junior. Pero next time, wag ka na magpadala ng Nivea Milk. Hindi nila type, mapait daw. Ako tuloy ang umubos.

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Local beauty pageant.

MC: What can you say about the violence happening in our country today?

Candidate: Koya naman. Getara nga di aku maronong. Bayolens pa?

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Dalawang baliw sa mental.

Baliw1: Pare, tatakas tayo.

Baliw2: Paano?

Baliw1: Aakyat tayo sa bakod. Tapos, tatalon tayo palabas!

Sumilip si Baliw2 sa bintana.

Baliw2: Pare, malas. Hindi tayo makakatakas.

Baliw1: Bakit?

Baliw2: Walang bakod.

[i_a_m_d_e_d_e]

On the first day, God created the dog and said: "Sit all day by the door
of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I
will give you a life span of twenty years."

The dog said: "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years
and I'll give you back the other ten?"

So God agreed.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said: "Entertain people, do
tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life
span."

The monkey said: "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long
time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?"

And God agreed.

On the third day, God created the cow and said: "You must go into the
field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves,
and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a
life span
of sixty years."

The cow said: "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty
years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?"

And God agreed again.

On the fourth day, God created man and said: "Eat, sleep, play, marry and
enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years. "

But man said: "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty,
the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten
the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?"

"Okay," said God, "You asked for it."

So that is why the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy
ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our
family. For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the
grandchildren. And for the last ten years, we sit on the front porch and
bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.

Expect Nothing.

[kent666]

wow! nice one..

[emokidstuff]

..hhhmmmm...that explaine's everything....

[j_cainglet]

hahaha.nice!!!lingaw ko da...

espcially atong lasenggo ug katong nabilin iya anak sa taxi..