jmbernz's Joke Time~

[mmk]

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hahhahahah

[legal_cd]

nice one.... ngano ga sign language.

[jmbernz]

A man wakes up one morning to find a bear on his roof. So he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough, there’s an ad for "Bear Removers." He calls the number, and the bear remover says he’ll be over in 30 minutes.

The bear remover arrives, and gets out of his van. He’s got a ladder, a baseball bat, a shotgun and a mean old pit bull.

"What are you going to do?" the homeowner asks.

"I’m going to put this ladder up against the roof, then I’m going to go up there and knock the bear off the roof with this baseball bat.When the bear falls off, the pit bull is trained to grab his testicles and not let go. The bear will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage In the back of the van."

He hands the shotgun to the homeowner.

What’s the shotgun for?" asks the homeowner.
If the bear knocks me off the roof, shoot the dog."

[jmbernz]

Three men were sitting on a park bench. The one in the middle was reading a newspaper; the others were pretending to fish.
They baited imaginary hooks, cast lines, and reeled in their catch.

A passing policeman stopped to watch the spectacle and asked the man in the middle if he new the other two.
“Oh yes” he said. “They ‘re my friends.”
“In that case,” warned the officer, “you’d better get them out of here!”
“Yes, sir” the man replied, and he began rowing furiously.

[jmbernz]

First-year students at Med School were receiving their first anatomy class with a real dead human body. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet.

The professor started the class by telling them, "In medicine, it is necessary to have 2 important qualities as a doctor. The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the human body." For an example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the corpse, withdrew it and stuck his finger in his mouth. "Go ahead and do the same thing,"! he told his students. The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead body and sucking on it. When everyone had finished, the Professor looked at them and told them, "The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention."...hahah...

[jmbernz]

Joan and her neighbor are talking about their daughters.

Joan says, my daughter is at the university.
She’s very bright, you know. Every time we get a letter from her we have to go to the dictionary.

Her neighbor says you are lucky every time we hear from our daughter we have to go to the bank. toinks...

[charmz_fire]

eow....... kaluod..
jejeje-

d lage mgbantay!

[jmbernz]

Three nuns were talking.

The first nun said, "I was cleaning in Father's room the other day and do you know what I found? A bunch of pornographic magazines."
"What did you do?" the other nuns asked. "Well, of course I threw them in the trash."

The second nun said, "Well, I can top that. I was in Father's room putting away the laundry and I found a bunch of condoms!" "Oh my!" gasped the other nuns. "What did you do?" they asked. "I poked holes in all of them!" she replied.

The third nun fainted. kamo jud ha...

[wikki]

hello baby

[nightzlayer]

buhay kang bata ka!bwahahahaha!