Merged: Jokes

[dongzky]

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sikat na ning mga intsika ni sa ila kaugok... naa pa lain ay... click below

http://youtube.com/watch?v=TfCrtir--...chinese%20boys

[yeh]

"Did you hear what happened?" Jim asked when he saw me walking down the hallway at work.

"Hear what" I asked, my curiosity peaked.

"The regional vice president died this morning!"

"What?!" I asked, totally stunned. "What happened?"

"He was working through lunch when he had a heart attack" Jim began explaining. "Everyone was gone except his secretary. You know the one." "Boy do I. She's that young blonde babe."

"Yeah that's the one. Turns out she isn't too smart, though."
"What do you mean?" I asked.

"He kept yelling at her to 'call 9 1 1'. She just stood there waiting for him to give her the rest of the phone number."

[i_a_m_d_e_d_e]

wa jud koy nakit-an nga katawanan anang mga chinese bsb..
sunod2 ra sa numa numa...
nya ang mga comments nga gi post sa youtube kay gnahan kaayo sila.. wtf?

[dongzky]

wa jud koy nakit-an nga katawanan anang mga chinese bsb..
sunod2 ra sa numa numa...
nya ang mga comments nga gi post sa youtube kay gnahan kaayo sila.. wtf?

FYI: chinese bsb was already there b4 the numa numa guy.......... numa numa and the rest are all but imitations from these chinese guys... and wtf?

[xie0527]

Kung nag-Gay language lang sana sina GMA and Garci,
eh di sana walang gulo ngayon...
GMA: Hallooo Gracia!
Garci: Yes mother! Nachukchak ko na po yung mga
chuva ek-ek!
GMA: Bonggacious! Eh yung mga tienes-tienes,
carry na ba?
Garci: Winnie santos mama! Wiz na worry!
Eclavou na ever!
GMA: Ang tarush! Babush!


Erap: Pre, ang bilis ko natapos buuin yung puzzle!
Juan: Talaga pare? Gaano kabilis?
Erap: 5 months!
Juan: Ang tagal naman!
Erap Tanga! Anong matagal?!
Nakalagay nga dito "For 3 years and up!"


ERap: Lintik na ibon yon...Iniputan ako!
Guard: Sir, sandali lang po kukuha ako ng
toilet paper...
Erap: Wag na! Paano mo pa mapupunasan yung
pwet non eh nakalipad na! Tanga ka talaga!


FVR: Erap, may gift ako sayo from India....
10 feet na snake...
Erap: Ows! Niloloko mo ba ako!? Di ako ganon
katanga...wala namang feet ang snake noh!
Gagong Toh!


Erap calling emergency hotline:
Please send help asap! My daughter is giving birth
and turning blue.....
Operator: CAlm down sir! Is this her first baby?
Erap: Gago! This is her father!


Erap: Tamad! Di ba sabi ko sayo diligan mo
ang mga halaman!
Hardinero: Sir, umuulan naman po kasi eh!
Erap: Magpapalusot ka pa! Tanga!.....
Eh di magkapote ka!


Erap: Doc, I accidentally swallowed a chicken bone!
Doctor: Is it choking?
Erap: No doc. It's Max's!
Doctor: I didn't mean chowking. I said, are you choking?
Erap: No doc, I'm serious!


GMA: I'm planning to stop poverty and mass starvation.
Erap: Alam mo Gloria..yung poverty madaling pigilin...
pero ang MAsturbation...Aba eh magisip-isip ka muna...
human rights violation yan!


Erap: Lintik na shampoo to ayaw bumula
Maid: Sir eh hindi pa po basa buhok niyo
Erap : eh for Dry Hair nga eh.


Naliligo si Erap ng biglang lumindol... Taranta siyang lumabas
na hubo't hubad......
Guard: Sir, may nakalimutan po ata kayong suotin....
Erap: Ay shet! ang Wristband ko!.. Oh No!

[luparantika]

classic joke...

[cool_operator]

ay, abi nakog ang mga chinese-bsb ang mga ugok... hasta man sad d.i ang ngpost prior to me...

[YoungBlood]

The newly born sperm was receiving instructions in
conception from the instructor. "As soon as you hear the
siren, run for the tunnel and swim in a straight line until
you get to the entrance of a damp cavern. At the end of the
cavern you will find a red, sticky ball which is the egg.
Address it and say, 'I'm a Sperm.' She will answer, 'I'm an
Egg.' From that moment on you will work together to create
the embryo. Do you understand?"

The sperm nodded affirmatively.

Two days later, the sperm is taking a nap when he hears the
siren. He wakes immediately and runs to the tunnel. A
multitude of sperm swim behind him. He knows he has to arrive
first. When he nears the entrance to the cavern, he looks
back and sees that he is far ahead of the other sperm. He is
able to swim at a slower pace but does approach the red,
sticky ball.

When, at last, he reaches the red, sticky ball, he smiles
and says, "Hi, I'm a sperm!"

The red sticky ball smiles and says, "Hi. I'm a tonsil."

[--Makoy--]

nice one.. more erap and gma jokes pls

[mango]

1st day of school.
Mom said to the teacher : Very sensitive po ang anak ko. Kung kailangan nyo po syang disiplinahin,
sampalin nyo lang po ang katabi nya.
Matatakot na yan !