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Destructive forms of jealousy may stem from low self-esteem and insecurity. This is further magnified by the real or imagined threat of losing the object of one’s affection. Other forms of destructive jealousy involve possessive forms of jealousy, where the primary motive is not the preservation of the relationship, but one of control. Some have said that jealousy can drive people “mad”. In extreme cases the anxiety, upset, and insecurity commonly felt in jealousy can be magnified in a syndrome similar to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Sleeplessness, hypervigilance, irritability and obsessive thoughts can develop. Some individuals may become suicidal, and sadly, jealousy is often a factor underlying homicides of women by their spouses or partners. Cultural factors add to the emotional mix of jealousy as individuals may fear shame or humiliation caused by the real or perceived infidelity of a spouse.
While sexual rivalry is likely to be a factor in many of the emotions involved in jealousy, another dimension involves issues of trust and betrayal of a bond which we perceive as essential to our well being and the security of our family and children. Issues of loss of a partner as well as loss of our closest bond can trigger anxiety as well as depression. Accusations of betrayal or even elaborate loyalty tests such as checking cell phone numbers, e-mail, following or spying often backfire and may provoke self-fulfilling prophecies. Others experiencing painful jealousy may go to the opposite extreme, becoming withdrawn, avoidant and resentful in a pattern that also can undermine the valued relationship.
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According to Buss, more men than women want to have *** with multiple partners. Furthermore, women who cheat on their husbands do so when they are most likely to conceive, but have *** with their spouses when they are least likely to conceive. These findings show that evolutionary tendencies to acquire better genes through different partners still lurk beneath modern sexual behavior. To counteract these desires to stray -- and to strengthen the bonds between partners -- jealousy evolved as an early detection system of infidelity in the ancient and mysterious ritual of mating.
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f you believe yourself unfortunate, because you have "loved and lost," perish the thought. One who has loved truly, can never lose entirely. Love is whimsical and temperamental. Its nature is ephemeral, and transitory. It comes when it pleases, and goes away without warning. Accept and enjoy it while it remains, but spend no time worrying about its departure. Worry will never bring it back. Dismiss, also, the thought that love never comes but once. Love may come and go, times without number, but there are no two love experiences which affect one in just the same way. There may be, and there usually is, one love experience which leaves a deeper imprint on the heart than all the others, but all love experiences are beneficial, except
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to the person who becomes resentful and cynical when love makes its departure.
There should be no disappointment over love, and there would be none if people understood the difference between the emotions of love and ***. The major difference is that love is spiritual, while *** is biological. No experience, which touches the human heart with a spiritual force, can possibly be harmful, except through ignorance, or jealousy.
Love is, without question, life's greatest experience. It brings one into communion with Infinite Intelligence. When mixed with the emotions of romance and ***, it may lead one far up the ladder of creative effort. The emotions of love, ***, and romance, are sides of the eternal triangle of achievement-building genius. Nature creates genii through no other force.
Love is an emotion with many sides, shades, and colors. The love which one feels for parents, or children is quite different from that which one feels for one's sweetheart. The one is mixed with the emotion of ***, while the other is not.
The love which one feels in true friendship is not the same as that felt for one's sweetheart, parents, or children, but it, too, is a form of love.
Then, there is the emotion of love for things inanimate, such as the love of Nature's handiwork. But the most intense and burning of all these various kinds of love, is that experienced in the blending of the emotions of love and ***. Marriages, not blessed with the eternal affinity of love, properly balanced and proportioned, with ***, cannot be happy ones--and seldom endure. Love, alone, will
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not bring happiness in marriage, nor will *** alone. When these two beautiful emotions are blended, marriage may bring about a state of mind, closest to the spiritual that one may ever know on this earthly plane.
Jelousy in action .
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