So then we ask again the eternal question:
Why do women go for jerks?
Or another phrasing:
Why do women go for men who treat them like shit?
For every woman who wants to be on a pedestal - note the intentional use of cliche - another wants to be under the heel.
Good looking, bad looking, fat or thin, rich or poor - doesn't matter, you can find a million women who want a man to tell them what to do. The Bad Boy material!!
The phenomenon of "women going for jerks" is a real one, but there is a very, very important thing missing from the usual understanding of it.
It is, I believe, a product of women's enculturated fantasies that jerks really AREN'T jerks down deep in their most hidden souls. (girls admit it!!)
The usual La-La Land construct is that jerks are really powerful, confident, and misunderstood men that the Very Special Women Who Truly Love Them can bring into the Light,they can be TAME, so that someday the erstwhile jerk will finally appreciate the Unconditional Love that has been lavished upon him so stupidly unstintingly. At which point, of course, he will fall into stunned, eternal adoration of the Very Special Woman who Stood By Him while he was going around being a powerful, confident, misunderstood jerk, world without end, Amen.
Yeah, it's nuts.
But you do have to understand some of the vital elements of this scene to understand female sexuality.
What turns women on? Novelty and beauty, of course: the new and different, the gorgeous hunk, the intelligent or humorous personality, an air of mystery. Touch, warmth, attention, sensual surroundings, laughter. But above all, most women will say that a man's inherent personal confidence, in and of itself, is a big turn on.
The sexual appeal of masculine confidence is why a bald assertion of power, pure ash can walkover stuff, can work, especially in the beginning of a relationship (it's the secret to how a lot of men get a lot of one night stands). And it is also a fact that many women can't tell the difference between put-on machismo, the violent, belligerent swagger that is often a mask for a LACK of confidence, and real manhood.
Many women believe the classic romantic construct too faithfully, and it is such an insidious mythology that it can incorporate any manner of disgusting behavior depending on a woman's need to believe it.
A woman will go for years believing that her lover's Redemption is just around the corner, letting him wipe his boots on her.
She feels alternately thrilled by his Power and tortured by the length of time it's taking for him to start giving her the Love she's "owed" for all the dirt on her back.
If she leaves him now, she's admitting he wasn't worth it. She can't do that, can she? Surely he's going to come around any day now.
So...do some women "want" to be degraded? Yes. Do some women "want" to be ordered around? Yes. Do some women "want" to be Daddied like infants? Yes. Do some women "want" to be treated like Hell? SADLY YES...
Does that mean that any mature, centered, MANLY man should indulge these women's fantasies and encourage these neuroses?
I leave the answer as an exercise for the reader.



      
					
					
					
						
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