Istorya ni Inday

[Mikare]

---

KRIS: Magandang gabi, mga kapamilya. Sa game show na ito, importante ang
sagot sa nag-iisang katanungang, ?Deal or No Deal?? Ang ating player
ngayong gabi ay walang iba kundi ang fastest-rising household services
manager na si Inday!
[Umentra si Inday at nagpalakpakan ang mga tao.]
KRIS: Ok, Inday, choose a briefcase.
INDAY: Kris, I would opt for case #4 please
KRIS: Briefcase # 4... si Sharmel. Inday, matanong ko lang, how did you
come up with the number 4?
INDAY: Oh, do you really want to know, Kris?
KRIS: Oo naman. I'm sure, kaya ko namang maintindihan yung sasabihin mo,
eh.
INDAY: The number 4 was acquired based on a probability distribution
function that involves integrating up to an area greater than or equal to
that random number which should be generated between 0 and 1 for proper
distributions.
KRIS: Ok, Inday, choose 6 briefcases to open.
INDAY: I would opt for 7, 24, 12, 2, 15 and 20.
KRIS: Wait lang, Inday. Usually, isa-isa lang ang pagbubukas natin ng
case...
INDAY: Why is that? As if I can change the outcome if we're to open a case
each time I blurt out a number as opposed to opening each case immediately
one after the other right?
KRIS: Hayyy... babaguhin pa talaga mechanics? (bulong sa sarili) Anwyay,
di bale na lang nga... tuloy tayo. Number 7. Natalie, buksan na!
[Sumigaw ang udience ng, "LOWER! LOWER!"]
INDAY: (tahimik)
KRIS: Teka lang, bago natin buksan... Inday, usually ang mga contestant
natin ay sumisigaw ng "LOWER" every time magbubukas ng case.
INDAY: Kris, I guess that's not the way I was taught in grade school. You
see, I was taught that we should only use the comparative form of the word
or add "ER" to the adjective if we are comparing two things. And since it
is only the first briefcase that we are going to open, we have nothing to
compare it to. Am I right?

[Natahimik ang audience at napaisip.]

KRIS: Oo nga, 'no?! Sige, Natalie, buksan mo na.

[Ang laman ng briefcase #7 ay piso. Palakpakan ang mga tao.]

KRIS: Good start! Ano ?yung next case mo ulit?
INDAY: Case# 24, please
KRIS: Chloe... buksan na...
[Sumigaw ulit ang audience ng, "LOWER! LOWER!"]
INDAY: (tahimik lang)
KRIS: Wait lang, guys. Inday, may nabuksan nang case, bakit hindi ka pa
rin sumisigaw ng, "Lower"?
INDAY: Oh my goodness, Kris! How long have you been doing this? Have you
ever encountered a value that is lower than a peso in this game? Tell me,
is there any value left lower than the one we just opened?
[Napaisip ulit ang audience at natahimik]

KRIS: Aarrgghh!!! Chloe, buksan na lang nga, pati na rin ?yung 12, 2, 15
and 20, buksan na rin para matapos na. (naiirita na)

[At sunud-sunod na ngang binuksan ang mga briefcase na pinili ni Inday.]
[Nag-ring ang phone.]

INDAY: Ahh, Kris - to save more time, can you tell Banker that I'm not
interested in his first offer? In the history of this game of chance, I
have yet to see someone accept a first offer from the Banker. It's quite
pathetic and pretentious for contestants to pause and look around the
audience as if asking for advice before ultimately rejecting the first
offer. I mean, come on, isn't that a waste of airtime?

BANKER: Potahhh!!! [narinig sa set kahit sarado ang kuwarto ni Banker]
[Ito ang unang pagkakataon na marinig ng audience ang boses ni Banker sa
Deal or No Deal.]

[batibot]

ehehehehe.....

lingawa ani wui...

pun.i pah....

ehehe

[zyLe]

hahahhahaha...

[sweetfaith]

Dr. Jose Rizal

Dr. Rizal: Inday, and hindi marunong magmahal sa sariling wika ay mas masahol pa sa halimaw at malansang isda…

Inday: Thank you for your wonderful words of wisdom. But don’t you know that I already read all your writings? Unfortunately, I was disappointed because your two novels were written in spanish and latin. So, therefore, you are the ultimate violator of your own aphorism.

Dr. Rizal: (nosebleed)


==================================

Paalam Kokey

Mga ilang araw nang nagmumukmok si Junior dahil umuwi na si Kokey at di na nya ito mapapanood. Naaawa na ang nanay nya sa kanya kaya’t…

Ma’am: Anak!! Halika dito may bibigay ako sayo…

Lumapit si Junior pero malungkot pa rin.

Ma’am: Look what I have!

Inilabas ni ma’am ang malaking sunglasses…

Ma’am: May kilala kasi ako sa set ng Kokey and naipuslit nya itong shades ni Kokey. Binili ko sa kanya para ibigay sayo para naman may remembrance ka ni Kokey. O diba?

Iniabot nya ang shades kay Junior. Nanlaki ang mga mata ni Junior sa tuwa.

Junior: Wowww!!! Papakita ko ito bukas sa mga kaklase ko! Maiingit mga yun! Thank you mommy!!

Narinig ni Inday ang mga pangyayari habang naglilinis sya ng mesa at naisipan nyang magkumento.

Inday: Hogwash!! How in the world can Kokey wear such shades if he doesn’t have any ears?

Napaisip si Junior… natahimik… at biglang umiyak! Tinapon ang shades sa sahig at tumakbo papuntang kwartong luhaan.

Ma’am: !@#!$% ka Inday!!! Kelangan mo pa bang sabihin yun?

========================================

On Courage

We can anticipate but we can never be ready
Doubt will always fill our hearts
Fear will always be by our sides
Anxiety will be our lover
Cowardice will be our embrace

But we can be free by believing
Our inhibitions will be discarded
Take the leap of faith
Believe in yourself
And everything will follow

Should we fail
There is nothing wrong with falling
Bones can be mended
Skin will regrow
Pain does not last forever

- Pep talk ni Inday kay Junior nung ayaw niyang tumalon sa pool dahil malamig daw ang tubig at natatakot sya.

==================================

Pacquiao vs. Barrera

Amo: Yan Pacman, patumbahin mo na!! Tirahin mo ng kaliwa mo, yan uppercut! Bilis matatapos na ang round! Ay grabe what a cheap shot. Duga mo Barrera porke talo ka lang…

Inday: Sir pardon my interruption but I need to send an SMS message to Dodong…

Amo: Ay pambihira ka Inday, patapusin mo man lang itong round! Teka lang…

- Nanonood ang amo ni Inday ng Pacquiao vs Barrera match live via myTV sa Nokia N77 ni Inday.

[kenjie]

hahaha nalibat kog basa,

[zyLe]

grabe gyud ni si INday, nka my TV... englisera na, hi tech pa! hhahahaha

[piggychan]

i love inday!

[KASAAC]

graveh na nosebleed ko ni inday...graveh jud maka WOW

[Majoy]

taasa pd oe.. d mada..

[umehime00]

guys... Blog ni Inday updated jud ni until now...

Noong bata pa si Inday


Nanay: Day, ba’t ba ang tigas-tigas ng ulo mo?

Inday: Inay, intransigence is just normal for us juveniles.

Nanay: Day, anong nakain mo? I’m perturbed by your words.

Inday: Nay, ala namang gantihan…

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ang pulubi


AMO: Inday, paalisin mo nga yung pulubing namamalimos sa labas ng bahay.

(lumabas si Inday)

INDAY: Off you go! Under no circumstance this house would relent to such unabashed display of vagrant destitution!

PULUBI: Oh! I’m so ashamed! Such a mansion of social climbing freaks!




-----------------------------------------------------------------


Ang Pulubi ulit


Isang hapon, dumaan na naman ang pulubi sa kanila Inday. Kumakatok ito sa gate at nanghihingi ng makakain.

Amo: Inday, bigay mo nga ang tirang pandesal dun sa pulubi sa gate.

Inday: Yes madam!

Pumunta si Inday sa gate at inabot sa pulubi ang pandesal. Nanonood lang ang amo nya sa may pinto.

Inday: Here! Off you go!

Tinanggap ng pulubi ang tinapay…


Pulubi: Uhh thanks but uhh, maybe you have some bruschetta lying around also that you can give me.

Nagulat ang amo ni Inday sa narinig na request ng pulubi.

Inday: No! Besides, it is not proper for mendicants to be indicatrous of preferences.

Dumugo ilong ng amo sa narinig na sagot ni Inday.

Pulubi: Ok. (malungkot na pagkasabi)

May kinuhang garapon na may lamang likodo ang pulubi sa kanyang lumang Crumpler na bag. Binuksan nya ito at sinawsaw ang pandesal sa likido at kinain.

Nakita ng amo ni Inday ang ginawa ng pulubi at na curious…

Amo: Inday, anong ginagawa nya sa tinapay?

Inday: It seems that he’s dipping it in olive oil.

Pulubi: No, it’s extra virgin olive oil.

Hinimatay ang amo.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ang Pulubi take 2

Jan 10th, 2008 by manager

AMO: Inday, may pulubi sa gate paalisin mo nga..

INDAY: Right away!

INDAY to BEGGAR: Hey you putrid-smelling beggar with the diverse ambiance of scented junk that assails everybody’s nostrils and poisons everyone’s fresh and carbon free lungs, please go away now!

BEGGAR: What?! Who do you think you are you pathetic trying hard nanny! How could you, a social climber and a very low grade mammal, underestimate a high-class beggar like me?! The hell with you!

INDAY: Nakakasakit ka na ah! Ma’am o ayaw umalis!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Inday at the mall



(While still staying at Iligan, Inday went to Limketkai Cagayan de Oro, a 2 hour away travel from Iligan City, to shop. When the salesladies from the ****** Boutique saw her entering the shop…)

Saleslady 1: Tan-awa ra gud na nga babaye.. Nag window shop pasa atong tindahan! Murag maka afford.

Saleslady 2: Korek! Pang muchacha ra ba iyang nawong. Naka tsinelas pa… murag taga bukid!

Inday: If you won’t stop that nasty scuttlebutts of yours now, I would never think twice of reporting both of you to the management of this promenade. This center does not deserve to have sales jobholders like you. Pagpaukoy kamo diha nga duha ha, kung hindi niyo gusto pangpitkon ang mga ilong niyo! Geh mir aus den Augen!, verschwinde! (Get out of my sight!)

Salesladies 1 & 2: (tigok)
---------------------------------------------------------------

Inday Sumakay ng Trisikad


Nasa Iligan pa rin si Inday, sumakay siya ng trisikad papuntang West Bend Street

Inday: Good heavens! This road needs to be concretized. I do not want my unborn young to be wretched and be wizen subsequently in this unnormal backward thing called civilisation!

Trisikad driver: I could hardly believe my ears when you volitionally called this experience a civilization! Remember, when we speak of such, it pertains to an advance state of intellectual, cultural, and material progression in the community!

Inday: My apologies, Mr. Trisikad driver. I am afraid I have to agree with you. If some of our government officials are keener, they would have done something to metamorph this street into more favorable route for the Iliganons.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Meet Arajaya

Feb 20th, 2008 by Inday

Arajaya was sipping her cup of brewed coffee served with hot pandesal by Coffeebean – so Filipino – so indigent – when a group of infamous people started to occupy the nearby infamous café a.k.a Starbucks. They were so noisy that Arajaya’s blood boiled – temperature almost reaching 412 kelvin.

But since Arajaya is a woman of sophistication, she decided to just ignore the crowd and let them live the way they wanted.

Suddenly, she felt a strong chill. She felt a very odd sensation from her nape to her head – the FEELING of being watched. But then again, Arajaya never gave a damn.

When she was about to eat her hot pandesal, she started to hear a familiar voice from her back.

“What a very small world” said the woman in a maid’s uniform.

Arajaya turned around and was surprised by what she saw.


“Well if my hippocampus serves me right, you are Arajaya, my former friend who turned her back from me. Aren’t you?”

“Wow! What a very well rehearsed introduction. Inday – my former friend who framed me up to escape a crime she’d done. Who would forget that sweet demonic voice – your pitch and intonation as well as your liaising?

“Basing from the gesture of your not so well-developed bone structure predominantly – your skull – that gave you a very elongated face and the kind of food that you have right now, you are about to nosh your stomach with an impecunious meal they called ‘Kape’t pandesal’, uh – was that right?” said Inday as if ridiculing her.

“Yes. Would you like a bite?” replied Arajaya.

“Thanks but no thanks. But would you mind if you join me at Starbucks instead of taking your breakfast in this approximately forsaken café with a very ghastly ambience?” said Inday. “I also want you to try my favorite Venti Java Chip Frappuccino along with cold sandwich and some Choux pastries. Don’t worry, my treat!”

Inday offered Arajaya to join her at Starbucks instead of Coffeebean…

Arajaya stared at Inday, sneered at her then opened her MacBook Pro.

“Thank you for the offer but I prefer Coffeebean to Starbucks. I just think that Starbucks is a den of social climbers and bourgeoisies like you.”

“Oh, dear! Don’t you think you’re getting rude, I just want you to experience life. Okay, I’ll – ” Inday was interrupted when she saw Arajaya busy working with her MacBook.

“And what are you trying to do Arajaya?” asked Inday impolitely.

“Hmm… nothing so important. You wouldn’t understand it even if I tell you.”


“Are you trying to undervalue my comprehension by implying that I will not understand the philosophy that you are doing with your MacBook? C’mon, don’t be so supercilious friend!”

“Okay, I am configuring its IEEE 802.15 to perpetuate the distribution of electromagnetic waves from the medium access control and the physical layer to the transport layer. Later, I will also track the process from the session layers in with the packets are sent and processed for the presentation layer to convert the signals into binary form. Example, if I tried to send “Inday go to hell” message, it will me converted to its hexadecimal value which is 496E49617900676F0068656C6C which will later be converted to its binary value of 010010010111 1110010010010 110000101111001 00000000011001110 110111100000 000011010000110011 10110110001100110. Then, the application layer will check the binary value for error detection using parity bit (even). If there are errors, it will fix the message then sends it to the ALU for processing which will be passed to the CU for data transfer. Satisfied?”

Inday remained silent for awhile then ran back to Starbucks when she heard “1 Venti Java Chip Frappuccino for Inday!” to get her order.

“Starbucks bullshit!” said Arajaya to herself.

After eating, she decided to go back to her work and accidentally passed by in front of Starbucks when she heard Inday…

“I was so careless. I thought that the wit I have in me which I found flamboyant in using any language I know of would simply astound them. I was just mortified that it took me a little pinch of effort not to step beyond the waterline, to just impart to the people I formerly know of that I have grown into a better personage – not just a chambermaid whom others look down to. I was so disgraced by the thing I heard awhile ago and my heart beat faster than normal that I suffered from the incapability of speaking. Good thing that barista called my name. I just wish that someday, I would be able to face my worst nightmare that is yet to come – yet to come that will consume me and bury me to death. I just wish that day isn’t coming yet.”

- Inday nag-emote matapos matabla ni Arajaya sa Coffeebean.


(for the win!!!! manong triskidad driver, pulubi and arajaya) XD