Programming Jokes

[san_cristobal]

---

Good but stereotypically speaking... common jud na ignore kasagaran ug warnings..

But I care about warnings.

[bensagarino]

Good but stereotypically speaking... common jud na ignore kasagaran ug warnings..

you're not into "best practices", are you?

[san_cristobal]

I know what you mean.

That's why I said "stereotypically speaking"....

Well obviously you don't belong to that stereotype.

Cheer up man, this is suppose to be a joke... a comedy.. a humor.. you know
what I mean right?

you're not into "best practices", are you?

[san_cristobal]

Another joke na sad....

A computer science student is studying under a tree and another pulls up on a flashy new bike. The first student asks, “Where’d you get that?”
The student on the bike replies, “While I was studying outside, a beautiful girl pulled up on her bike. She took off all her clothes and said, ‘You can have anything you want’.”
The first student responds, “Good choice! Her clothes probably wouldn’t have fit you.”

[n00dle$]

An int, a char and a string walk into a bar and order some drinks. A short while later, the int and char start hitting on the waitress who gets very uncomfortable and walks away. The string walks up to the waitress and says "You'll have to forgive them, they're primitive types."

[nullpointer]

A programmer is at the airport with his wife, she needs to go to the bathroom so she tells him to stay there and look at the luggage. When she's back the programmer is counting the bags while scratching his head.

Wife: -What's wrong?

Programmer: -I don't get it. I was there, nobody took a bag, but I have missed one. We had 5 bags, but now we have only 4.

Wife: -How's that?

Programmer: -Look: zero, one, two, thee, four!

[san_cristobal]

Ayos ni da... hehe.. by 0 jud.. hehe...

A programmer is at the airport with his wife, she needs to go to the bathroom so she tells him to stay there and look at the luggage. When she's back the programmer is counting the bags while scratching his head.

Wife: -What's wrong?

Programmer: -I don't get it. I was there, nobody took a bag, but I have missed one. We had 5 bags, but now we have only 4.

Wife: -How's that?

Programmer: -Look: zero, one, two, thee, four!

[Deathnote]

A programmer is at the airport with his wife, she needs to go to the bathroom so she tells him to stay there and look at the luggage. When she's back the programmer is counting the bags while scratching his head.

Wife: -What's wrong?

Programmer: -I don't get it. I was there, nobody took a bag, but I have missed one. We had 5 bags, but now we have only 4.

Wife: -How's that?

Programmer: -Look: zero, one, two, thee, four!

hehehe index diay gi gamit bro...hehehe

[Deathnote]

apil pud ko bro

Software Development Cycles

1. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free.
2. Product is tested. 20 bugs are found.
3. Programmer fixes 10 of the bugs and explains to the testing department that the other 10 aren’t really bugs.
4. Testing department finds that five of the fixes didn’t work and discovers 15 new bugs.
5. Repeat three times steps 3 and 4.
6. Due to marketing pressure and an extremely premature product announcement based on overly-optimistic programming schedule, the product is released.
7. Users find 137 new bugs.
8. Original programmer, having cashed his royalty check, is nowhere to be found.
9. Newly-assembled programming team fixes almost all of the 137 bugs, but introduce 456 new ones.
10. Original programmer sends underpaid testing department a postcard from Fiji. Entire testing department quits.
11. Company is bought in a hostile takeover by competitor using profits from their latest release, which had 783 bugs.
12. New CEO is brought in by board of directors. He hires a programmer to redo program from scratch.
13. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free…

[psyd_1]

apil sad ko..hehehehe

Demo-oriented programming:

A programming style, typically used by startups, focusing on the demo of the program being developed, so it will easily catch the prospective investor.