A Cheating Dad

[aridoasis]

---

Hope to get some advice from fellow istoryans...

I caught my dad cheating - that's the short version.

Many times, my dad leaves his cellphone at home, and asks me to take his calls for him. One day, I received a call from an unknown lady looking for "hun". She talked to me, assuming I was my dad because I kinda sound like him over the phone. Well she was all mushy and I didn't know how to react, so I told her she got the wrong number and put down the phone. She kept on calling and calling but I never picked up, until she quit it. The nosy child that I am, I snooped around my dad's cellphone and hit the mother load - several sms exchanges containing terms of endearment, sexual invites, an much much more - from different women dating back to years before. Students, hookers - you name it. He's giving cellphones, allowances, and other stuff too, stuff he wouldn't even think twice of giving to his children. I didn't know how to handle it, so I just kept it to myself.

--- That was 4 years ago.

Since then, I continued snooping around and he's still at it, with different women for periods of time. Well, I couldn't stand it anymore and told him that I knew what he was doing and told him that it disgusted me. He went all self-righteous telling me I had no right to do anything, and wouldn't admit to his wrongdoings - a lot of harsh words were exchanged. At this point in time, I learned that my mom also found out about his extracurricular activities, and he's blaming her that it's her fault that I found out. I also learned that that what my mom knew about was only of the present girl he was having an affair with - his secretary. So, I told him that I knew more than what he had expected, more than what mom knew, but haven't told her, and we stopped speaking to each other. And he calls me stupid and mistaken to defend my mom - to think, from groceries to tuition fee's, my mom handles them all - even buying his underwear. My mom, being a genuine mother, opted for reconciliation for the sake of my two siblings, and at the moment, we all still live under the same roof, only my mom and me knowing my dad's doings.



--- That was 2 years ago.

Right now, the family looks fine, except for that fact that my dad and I haven't spoken a single word to each other. I try to avoid him as much I can coz I can't stand being around him. He's with the family more often, and spends a lot more time with mom - or so I thought.

Two weeks ago, I'd found his mobile left behind when he went of to work. Someone was calling - his colleague, and I informed him that the phone was left behind. Taking the opportunity, I did some snooping, and again found a dozen or so messages exchanged within the last few days containing terms of endearment, sexual invites, an much much more, now from a sender whose name is only 3 letters. I checked the number and for sure, it wasn't my mom's.

He's up to his dirty doings again. I'm 22 and I'm powerless to do anything. I don't wanna see my mom hurt again, but I guess it's inevitable that she will find out what's going on sooner or later. If she's break up with my dad, the salary I'm earning wouldn't be enough to support my mom and my siblings.

I'm the only one who knew about this, and now, you, my fellow istoryans, know too. The are some details I left out - it was already painful enough having to refer to him as 'my dad' while I wrote this post.

[nissanss]

Sorry to hear bro. Only more reasons to strive & achieve independence. Good luck & pray always.

[babypaupau]

ive been there and i know what you're going through. lisod jud kaau, as in.,

for one, im a daddy's girl. i found out about my dad's affair and his bisyo when i was 12. it was a very tough time. my mom and dad always fights and my mom got to the point that she attempted suicide. it was a real nightmare. through that time, my mom would always gather us children to pray the rosary. kada gabii jud mi magrosary and mag divine mercy. bata pa kau ko before so wala ko kasabot ug unsa to. i always blamed my mom for being a nagger. i thot mao to reason ngano naa kabit akong dad but it was a very different story diay. anyway... my mom decided that we move here sa cebu coz her parents are here. so we did, and started from scratch. she's still bitter about what happened specially that she's having a hard time raising 4 kids on her own. but she's moved on.

if you really love your mom, i think its best that you talk to her about her plans. if she cant let go of your dad, you'd need to intervene. pray as a family because trust me, that will get you through this difficult situation. and for you, you can seek counselling so you will learn to forgive your dad. only when you forgive him that you will start to heal yourself and help your mom. it took me sooo long to forgive my parents for what happened and it almost ruined my life. if you want to seek help, daghan taw available para mhelp nimo. basta, ur faith will get u through this.

[Soul Doctor]

Hope to get some advice from fellow istoryans...

I caught my dad cheating - that's the short version.

Many times, my dad leaves his cellphone at home, and asks me to take his calls for him. One day, I received a call from an unknown lady looking for "hun". She talked to me, assuming I was my dad because I kinda sound like him over the phone. Well she was all mushy and I didn't know how to react, so I told her she got the wrong number and put down the phone. She kept on calling and calling but I never picked up, until she quit it. The nosy child that I am, I snooped around my dad's cellphone and hit the mother load - several sms exchanges containing terms of endearment, sexual invites, an much much more - from different women dating back to years before. Students, hookers - you name it. He's giving cellphones, allowances, and other stuff too, stuff he wouldn't even think twice of giving to his children. I didn't know how to handle it, so I just kept it to myself.

--- That was 4 years ago.

Since then, I continued snooping around and he's still at it, with different women for periods of time. Well, I couldn't stand it anymore and told him that I knew what he was doing and told him that it disgusted me. He went all self-righteous telling me I had no right to do anything, and wouldn't admit to his wrongdoings - a lot of harsh words were exchanged. At this point in time, I learned that my mom also found out about his extracurricular activities, and he's blaming her that it's her fault that I found out. I also learned that that what my mom knew about was only of the present girl he was having an affair with - his secretary. So, I told him that I knew more than what he had expected, more than what mom knew, but haven't told her, and we stopped speaking to each other. And he calls me stupid and mistaken to defend my mom - to think, from groceries to tuition fee's, my mom handles them all - even buying his underwear. My mom, being a genuine mother, opted for reconciliation for the sake of my two siblings, and at the moment, we all still live under the same roof, only my mom and me knowing my dad's doings.



--- That was 2 years ago.

Right now, the family looks fine, except for that fact that my dad and I haven't spoken a single word to each other. I try to avoid him as much I can coz I can't stand being around him. He's with the family more often, and spends a lot more time with mom - or so I thought.

Two weeks ago, I'd found his mobile left behind when he went of to work. Someone was calling - his colleague, and I informed him that the phone was left behind. Taking the opportunity, I did some snooping, and again found a dozen or so messages exchanged within the last few days containing terms of endearment, sexual invites, an much much more, now from a sender whose name is only 3 letters. I checked the number and for sure, it wasn't my mom's.

He's up to his dirty doings again. I'm 22 and I'm powerless to do anything. I don't wanna see my mom hurt again, but I guess it's inevitable that she will find out what's going on sooner or later. If she's break up with my dad, the salary I'm earning wouldn't be enough to support my mom and my siblings.

I'm the only one who knew about this, and now, you, my fellow istoryans, know too. The are some details I left out - it was already painful enough having to refer to him as 'my dad' while I wrote this post.

Are you Chinese?
This happened to us too.
Only with my step dad.
He is Chinese.
Wala na jud mahimo ana bro.
Come what may na lang.

They are old enough to know what they are doing.
Plus, bisyo na jud na sa imong Dad.
Maybe he is a s3x addict.
And your mom tolerated because she can not satisfy his addiction.

Just learn from it bro.

[aridoasis]

No, I'm not Chinese.
My mom tolerated because I still have siblings in highschool and college.

Thanks for the replies guys, they're well-appreciated.

[KASAAC]

woah....graveh sa imung situation bro, well bro how is old is your dad by the way?
you know what, just use your dad to get a career that will be beneficial not just for yourself but also to your mom and siblings...then if you think you've already attain that financial stability then inform your mom of your dad's wrongdoings and advise her to divorce him, you'll soon get by bro....just hold on

[aridoasis]

woah....graveh sa imung situation bro, well bro how is old is your dad by the way?
you know what, just use your dad to get a career that will be beneficial not just for yourself but also to your mom and siblings...then if you think you've already attain that financial stability then inform your mom of your dad's wrongdoings and advise her to divorce him, you'll soon get by bro....just hold on

my dad's in his 50's na.

I'm already working - for almost 1 year na, and doing well. The thing is, it's only enough to support myself. I'm really working hard, and hoping to move up the ladder to be able to help my mom out.

[prettybabyandi]

ey bro.. dont feel too bad about it.. think about it this way nlng ---ur not d only one who's experiencing this kind of situation, ur not alone..though no one wouldnt want this situation to happen, it does happen.. since you've already opened up to him a no. of times already and nothing has changed, guess all we can do is hope and pray that one day, the problem would finally come to an end..cheer up bro! everything's gonna be alright..God bless!

[hunt99]

Hope to get some advice from fellow istoryans...

I caught my dad cheating - that's the short version.

Many times, my dad leaves his cellphone at home, and asks me to take his calls for him. One day, I received a call from an unknown lady looking for "hun". She talked to me, assuming I was my dad because I kinda sound like him over the phone. Well she was all mushy and I didn't know how to react, so I told her she got the wrong number and put down the phone. She kept on calling and calling but I never picked up, until she quit it. The nosy child that I am, I snooped around my dad's cellphone and hit the mother load - several sms exchanges containing terms of endearment, sexual invites, an much much more - from different women dating back to years before. Students, hookers - you name it. He's giving cellphones, allowances, and other stuff too, stuff he wouldn't even think twice of giving to his children. I didn't know how to handle it, so I just kept it to myself.

--- That was 4 years ago.

Since then, I continued snooping around and he's still at it, with different women for periods of time. Well, I couldn't stand it anymore and told him that I knew what he was doing and told him that it disgusted me. He went all self-righteous telling me I had no right to do anything, and wouldn't admit to his wrongdoings - a lot of harsh words were exchanged. At this point in time, I learned that my mom also found out about his extracurricular activities, and he's blaming her that it's her fault that I found out. I also learned that that what my mom knew about was only of the present girl he was having an affair with - his secretary. So, I told him that I knew more than what he had expected, more than what mom knew, but haven't told her, and we stopped speaking to each other. And he calls me stupid and mistaken to defend my mom - to think, from groceries to tuition fee's, my mom handles them all - even buying his underwear. My mom, being a genuine mother, opted for reconciliation for the sake of my two siblings, and at the moment, we all still live under the same roof, only my mom and me knowing my dad's doings.



--- That was 2 years ago.

Right now, the family looks fine, except for that fact that my dad and I haven't spoken a single word to each other. I try to avoid him as much I can coz I can't stand being around him. He's with the family more often, and spends a lot more time with mom - or so I thought.

Two weeks ago, I'd found his mobile left behind when he went of to work. Someone was calling - his colleague, and I informed him that the phone was left behind. Taking the opportunity, I did some snooping, and again found a dozen or so messages exchanged within the last few days containing terms of endearment, sexual invites, an much much more, now from a sender whose name is only 3 letters. I checked the number and for sure, it wasn't my mom's.

He's up to his dirty doings again. I'm 22 and I'm powerless to do anything. I don't wanna see my mom hurt again, but I guess it's inevitable that she will find out what's going on sooner or later. If she's break up with my dad, the salary I'm earning wouldn't be enough to support my mom and my siblings.

I'm the only one who knew about this, and now, you, my fellow istoryans, know too. The are some details I left out - it was already painful enough having to refer to him as 'my dad' while I wrote this post.

bro you are not powerless what your dad is doind is not right not good stop him but must also learn to control your temper

[aridoasis]

thanks for all ur replies guys