Time for Joking

[Adamson]

---

Husband is the Computer expert:

Husband: (came home late from office)Hello honey now I'm logged in."
Wife: "Did you bring the gift that i want?"
Husband: "Bad command or filename."
Wife: "But I already asked you this morning!"
Husband: "Errorneous syntax. Abort?"
Wife: "Then,how about buy new television?"
Husband: "Variable not found..."
Wife: "OK , I want your credit card,I'll shop by myself."
Husband: "Sharing Violation. Access denied..."
Wife: "do you love me better than your computer?or you just playing?"
Husband: "Too many parameters..."
Wife: "the worst mistake was I married with Idiot man like you!"
husband: "Data type mismatch."
Wife: "you're useless."
Husband: "It's by Default."
Wife: "how about ur wage?"
husband: "File in use ... Try later."
Wife: "What i am in this family?"
Husband: "Unknown Virus."

[vashtinone]

heheh.. nice one..

[Adamson]

pg wlng bolpen,

wlng notes.

pg wlng notes,

wlang pg aaral.

pg wlang pg aaral,

wlng diploma.

pg wlng diploma,

wlng trabaho.

pg wlng trabaho,

wlng pera.

pg wlng pera,

wlng pagkain.

pg wlng pagkain,

magugutom.

pg nagutom,

ppyat.

pg pumayat,

ppnget.

pg pumanget,

wlng bf/gf.

pg wlng bf/gf,

wlng asawa.

pg wlng asawa,

wlng anak.

pg wlng anak,

mddpress.

pg ndpress,

mgkksakit.

pg ngksakit,

mmmty ka.

pg nmty ka,

wala ka na.

kya ingtn mo bolpen mo ha.


JOSE: Kumusta ang assignment?
RICK: Masama. Wala akong nasagutan. Blank paper ang ipinasa ko.
JOSE: Naku, ako rin! Paano 'yan? Baka isipin
nila, nagkopyahan tayo?!



TOTO: Pangarap ko, kumita ng P250,000 monthly gaya ni daddy!
JOVY: Wow! Ganyan kalaki ang kinikita ng daddy mo?
TOTO: Hindi! 'Yan din ang pangarap niya!



Usapan ng dalawang bata...
JUNJUN: Magaling ang tatay ko! Alam mo'yang
Pacific Ocean , siya ang humukay nun!
PEDRO: Wala 'yan sa tatay ko! Alam mo yung Dead Sea ?
JUNJUN: Oo...
PEDRO: Siya ang pumatay nun!


STEWARDEES: Do you want a drink, sir?
SIR: What are my choices?
STEWARDEES: Yes or No.




Advantage at disadvantage ng may-asawa...
ADVANTAGE: 'Pag kailangan mo, nandiyan agad.
DISADVANTAGE: 'Pag ayaw mo na, andiyan parin!



Sa isang classroom...
TITSER: Class, what is ETHICS?
PETER: Etiks are smaller than ducks.
TITSER: Okey, that duck will lay an egg in your card.





JUAN: Pare, noong mayaman pa kami, nagkakamay
kaming kumain. Ngayongmahirap na kami, nakakutsara na.
PEDRO: Baligtad yata?
JUAN: Mahirap kamayin ang lugaw, pare!




ANAK: Itay, nagpapatanong si ma'am kung ano raw ang propesyon mo.
TATAY: Sabihin mo, cardiologist.
ANAK: Ano po ba ang cardiologist, Itay?
TATAY:'Yung taga-ayos ng radio sa car!



"DALAWANG LASING...NAGLALAKAD."
LASING-1: Shege pare, Ayan na yung bahay namin eh, dito na lang ako, salamat sa paghatid mo sakin ha!

LASING-2: Mali ka pare, hindi yan ang bahay mo... diyan ako nakatira eh... kaya sa amin yang bahay na yan! Okey?

BABAE Nagbukas ng pinto}.. Hoy, mga Unggoy! Anong pinagtatalunan nyo diyan? Lasing na naman kayong Mag-ama noh?

[vashtinone]

nice jokes... agik ik mode.. wahehehehe

[Andruid80]

Teacher: Class draw a fish!
Class: Yes ma'am
Teacher: Pedro, why is it your drawing is very dirty?
Pedro: Ma'am ginamos man gud ni!

*********************************************

May usa ka tambok naglakaw sa dalan nagdala ug itoy.
Hubog: Pila palit nimu sa BABOY?
Tambok: Buta ka? ITOY man ni!
Hubog: Ikaw ba diay ako .gipangutana, ang ITOY man!

[k9]

Husband is the Computer expert:

Husband: (came home late from office)Hello honey now I'm logged in."
Wife: "Did you bring the gift that i want?"
Husband: "Bad command or filename."
Wife: "But I already asked you this morning!"
Husband: "Errorneous syntax. Abort?"
Wife: "Then,how about buy new television?"
Husband: "Variable not found..."
Wife: "OK , I want your credit card,I'll shop by myself."
Husband: "Sharing Violation. Access denied..."
Wife: "do you love me better than your computer?or you just playing?"
Husband: "Too many parameters..."
Wife: "the worst mistake was I married with Idiot man like you!"
husband: "Data type mismatch."
Wife: "you're useless."
Husband: "It's by Default."
Wife: "how about ur wage?"
husband: "File in use ... Try later."
Wife: "What i am in this family?"
Husband: "Unknown Virus."

lol,

here's another :

Before marriage.... .

He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: No! Don't even think about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course! Over and over!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: No! Why are you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
He: Every chance I get.
She: Will you hit me?
He: Are you crazy! I'm not that kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?
He: Yes.
She: Darling!

After marriage....

Simply read from bottom to top.

[dbmike]

kaluoy pd sa mga babae kung ingana nalang ta tanan laki sa.. ehehe

[Pretty_Bonita]

ahehehee.. funny!!

4 job applicants were asked...
INTERVIEWER: "What is the fastest thing in the world?"
GERMAN says: "Thought"
AMERICAN says: "A blink of the eye"
RUSSIAN says: "Light switch"
JUAN the PINOY says: "Diarrhea"
INTERVIEWER: " Why diarrhea?"
JUAN: Lit mi eksplen... Dis murning, I hab istumak ek, irun to di tuylet
but bipur i kud tenk, blenk, or eben swets on di layt, dir was igit
en my pants olride.. Su past! Beri past!!

harhar...=p

[rexbrown]

probinsyano mi-adto manila unya ka-ihion na kaau. nakakita ug paril nga wala kahibaw naay naksuwat nga BAWAL UMIHI DITO..nakakita ang pulis..

PULIS: hoy!anu ginagawa mo jan?
di mo ba alam na bawal umihi jan?

PROMDI: tan-awa lang ug nangihi ba, nglolo ra mn....

[tomtacks]

hahahha kani2x....

Teacher: Who among u here hav experienced having *** with a ghost?
Pedro: Ako Sir!!
Teacher: Nakipag-*** ka ug ghost?
Pedro: Ay, wala diay sir. abi nako goats!!