Merged: Jokes

[kiat_kaau_kusion_beh:-)]

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the black box

[size=9px]There were three old black ladies getting ready to take a plane across the ocean.

The first lady said, "I don't know bout y'all, but I'm gunna wear me some hot pink panties beefo I gets on dat plane."

"Why you gonna wear dem fo ?" the other two asked.

The first replied, "Cause, if dat plane goes down and I'm

out dare laying butt-up in a conefield, dey gonna find me first."

The second lady says, "Well, I'm a-gonna wear me some flooresant range panties."

"Why you gonna wear dem ?" the others asked. The second lady answered: "Cause if dis hareplane is goin' down And I'm floating butt-up in the oshun, dey can see me first."

The third old lady says, "Well, I'm not going to wear any panties....."

"What? No panties?!" the others said in disbelief.

"Dat's right, you heard me. I'm not wearing any panties, " the third lady said,

"cause if dis plane go down, honey, dey always looks for da black box fust."[/size]

[kiat_kaau_kusion_beh:-)]

Whiskey Research

According to new research, drinking whiskey can help
protect you against cancer. However, it cannot protect
you from waking up in the morning with an ugly person. - Jay Leno

[kiat_kaau_kusion_beh:-)]

You Are A Redneck If...
[size=9px]
1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.
3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.
5. You think the "Nutcracker" is something you do off the high dive.
6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.
7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.
8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.
9. You come back from the dump with more than you took there.
10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
12. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.
14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program!
16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
17. You have a rag for a gas cap.
18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.
19. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
20. You can spit without opening your mouth.
21. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.
22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side.
24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Walmart.
25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.
26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.
27. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does a $100,000.00 worth of improvements.
28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.
29. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty
30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph.
And Last, But Not Least...
31. Someone tells you that you've got something in your teeth, so you take them out to see what it is![/size]

[jonz]

IN THE election campaign MEETING
EVENT ASSISTANT: (whispering) mis palihug ko announce b hy naabot na dyd
ang mayor cge lang late
MC(announcer): announcig the arrival of our late mayor who just pass away

ngek

[boliklik]

John and Lorraine had been dating each other for years and were getting bored of each other.
They became like a married couple, nagging and sarcasm in all their conversations. One day John met a girl named Cleary.
She was pretty, smart and funny and John longed to break up with Lorraine and date Cleary but he couldn't.
Then one day Lorraine was walking along the side of a river when she fell in and drowned.
When John heard the news he was so happy he sang "I can see Cleary now, Lorraine is gone!"

[kiat_kaau_kusion_beh:-)]

atot oi... abi jud nako 10 things....

[milkyshake]

69.......... Lame


96........ War


66....... bayot

9.6...... way lame kay naa period! hehe getz?

[junenine]

"I snored so loud, I used to wake myself up."

"What did you do about it?" the listener asked.

"I cured myself."

"How?"

"Now I sleep in the next room and don't hear a thing."

[junenine]

After everyone was in bed the telephone rang.

"Is this one one one one?" the voice asked.

"No, this is eleven eleven."

"Are you sure this is not one one one one?"

"Yes, I'm sure. This is eleven eleven."

"Well, sorry to have gotten you up."

"That's all right. I had to get up anyway. The phone was ringing."

[kenart]

try this link :>

http://indigo.org/tubbtoon/