Repost: Need your words of wisdom about insanity

[aesc2486]

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Hi! ako papa since nagkabuot ko, ako papa is alcoholic(like 3 to 5 bottles of tanduay a day). Naa tanan gikan sa verbal abuse, physical abuse sa ako mama og sa akoa, financial abuse and all others na inyu ma think about sa pamilya nga amahan kay palahubog. 5 mi ka mag igsuon then ako ang kinamagulangan.

Ako papa hinuon wala mag kulang og kaiskwela namu og iyaha pud gibuhat iyaha part as padre de pamilya. Nag dako mi tanan nga ing.ana amu life and to the point nga pirmi bati amu mahuna2x niya.

Lately ni avail og early retirement ako papa without any back up what to do after. Dili mi arangan nga family (mostly gi blame nko nya why) and lisud og igo ra jud mka finance aa amu everyday expenses.

Lately (probabbly due to lots of factors e.g depression) nagpakita nag sign of delirium and delusions ako papa to the point nga naa na xa mga imaginary friends and basically on the verge of losing his sanity.

I know what really happens to him and i know what to do BUT there is something hinders me not to help him at all because of my past experiences.

Mau ni akong mga conflicts krn:
1. I know in then end papa ghapn nko xa and untang kabubuton as anak nga to help them HOWEVER that does not mean nga mag salig cla nga naa cla anak mka atiman nila. Unsa nmn diay pud akong mga plano sa kinabuhi?

2. Mahal ang treatment and naglisud na gani mi.

3. Why should i always carry the burden nga as a son i have done what they expected me to do. Ni tabang na gani ko nila without even sparing extra for my future, wala koy bisyo, wala ko nag pabadlong sa ila as anak, wala koy hagbong sa klase ug uban pa. Why should i always have to do everything nga bati na gani amo relationship as father and son


I hope with this, i can get insights sa inyu mga istoryans

[bula1980]

Ts, alam ko gaano to kahirap para sayo, nakikita ko naman yung struggles mo eh. Like lagi kong sinasabi sayo, be there for him lang. Wag mong pababayaan katulad ng ginagawa mo ngayon, pasasaan ba matatapos din ang lahat. Be strong, i know you are and this is not the time to give up. If you need kausap, you know how to reach me.

[Lamusika]

whoah, whoahhh ... same keu ta Ts. Mkarelate ko nimo, I'm the eldest and I still have 4 siblings.
In my case lng, wla nakoy ermatz, din same ta ug probz sa amahan,


3. Why should i always carry the burden nga as a son i have done what they expected me to do. Ni tabang na gani ko nila without even sparing extra for my future, wala koy bisyo, wala ko nag pabadlong sa ila as anak, wala koy hagbong sa klase ug uban pa. Why should i always have to do everything nga bati na gani amo relationship as father and son.



Since your the eldest, it's really normal that you carried out the burden from your parents, from your family. Yes dli dpat tnan imo, but still you have to do your part as a son. Me, I am not close with my father too. He's like a burden to me but I have to think about my siblings and him as well.
You have to be strong Ts. , I know at some point you think about of giving up, how to move out from this mess, but still he's your father and you still have your siblings that I know dependent sayo. Move.on from your past experiences, think about what you can do now before it's too late. , Do not let that grudges hinders you to help him, he's your father after all. I know that you know what to do , just don't let that anger drags you down to help him.

If you can't help him financially, help him emotionally. Forgive him and try to have a communication with him Ts. (basin pa d i kulang lng sa love nga gikan sa iyang mga anak cya o pagtagad )oKay rana si future Ts naa rman na, It's pretty normal that we have to think about our self, our plans in life of course, but as of now think about what you can do today for him coz you'll never know how far he have been through and life expansion nya. maybe ny limits lng pud.

No offense ts hmp, jux my opinion lng nah...
Despite sa imu situation, Your still lucky that he did his part as your father acc. sa imung story, I am kinda suya lng pud coz I have my own story pd that shall we say,arang2 lng imong situation

God Bless and just keep on praying lng pud to gain more strength from above.

[nibbler]

Hi! ako papa since nagkabuot ko, ako papa is alcoholic(like 3 to 5 bottles of tanduay a day). Naa tanan gikan sa verbal abuse, physical abuse sa ako mama og sa akoa, financial abuse and all others na inyu ma think about sa pamilya nga amahan kay palahubog. 5 mi ka mag igsuon then ako ang kinamagulangan.

Ako papa hinuon wala mag kulang og kaiskwela namu og iyaha pud gibuhat iyaha part as padre de pamilya. Nag dako mi tanan nga ing.ana amu life and to the point nga pirmi bati amu mahuna2x niya.

Lately ni avail og early retirement ako papa without any back up what to do after. Dili mi arangan nga family (mostly gi blame nko nya why) and lisud og igo ra jud mka finance aa amu everyday expenses.

Lately (probabbly due to lots of factors e.g depression) nagpakita nag sign of delirium and delusions ako papa to the point nga naa na xa mga imaginary friends and basically on the verge of losing his sanity.

I know what really happens to him and i know what to do BUT there is something hinders me not to help him at all because of my past experiences.

Mau ni akong mga conflicts krn:
1. I know in then end papa ghapn nko xa and untang kabubuton as anak nga to help them HOWEVER that does not mean nga mag salig cla nga naa cla anak mka atiman nila. Unsa nmn diay pud akong mga plano sa kinabuhi?

2. Mahal ang treatment and naglisud na gani mi.

3. Why should i always carry the burden nga as a son i have done what they expected me to do. Ni tabang na gani ko nila without even sparing extra for my future, wala koy bisyo, wala ko nag pabadlong sa ila as anak, wala koy hagbong sa klase ug uban pa. Why should i always have to do everything nga bati na gani amo relationship as father and son


I hope with this, i can get insights sa inyu mga istoryans

I understand that as his child you feel the need to help your father through his depression, but as a person having grown under his roof you can't forgive the fact that he was an alcoholic man that over step his boundaries in the household.

Sending your dad to get a treatment can be expensive but he needs it at this point of his life and also your unconditional support. He has grown up mentally and emotionally avoiding something deeply rooted in his past. You are a very capable young man who have enough wits and intelligence to understand and accept that your dad has gone the deep end. Which is why you need to use those two things to dig deeper into your dad.

I suffer from depression and PTSD (post traumatic syndrome) due to past conflicts in the family and as a child growing up. It is unavoidable to go through this hard and psychotic episodes. But I learned how to face them even with the lack of financial support for medical treatment. I also had to clear out some old friends and family members even understanding the strained relationship I had with my mother and my uncertain position in the family through it all.

Even if you are their son. You're also a human being. Don't exchange your able-ness to do the what is right for the sake of pride and ego. But don't let your parents or anyone else overstep the boundary line. You can only do what you can but you are not a hero.

You have to speak with your immediate family on what to do with your father. And how each of you can help each other bring your father back to normal, and eventually find out the cause of his alcoholism.

My advice to you as a depressive and PTSD person is observe your father carefully. Understand his behavior and write it all out in a journal. Document it if you have to because its important to have references. You may not be a doctor and not qualified to cure a person of insanity but you also can't risk to have an insane person in the house.

Begin by conversing with him like a good friend. Greet him and ask how he is doing and how his day was. That should open up a connection between the two of you. Focus only in connecting with him and use open-ended question.

[rhame]

I think by the history you stated, your father has a definite mental disorder. Maybe you could try going to Vicente Sotto center for Behavioral sciences. So they can specify the diagnosis and give you medical and non-medical advice. I understand it must be hard to let go of the anger you feel but it may make you take one step into understanding him if you know what's wrong. I think he has been sick for a while now and maybe he has a family history that led to the abusive behavior.

[nate_austin]

Pray sincerely to God for help...kay He is an all knowing and loving God...and remember that Jesus He forgave us and saved us, He is our Heavenly Father...we should also forgive those who have wronged us

[Watever_watever]

TS, ka-relate ko nimo...my mom was diagnose with Schizophrenia...we tried putting her sa Vicente Sotto...ako nga isa sa tig-bisita murag ma-apil ko ug kayabag didto...so we decided to bring her home and continue with the medicine...pero pagbantay lang sa uban medicines kay katong gi-resita sa akong mother mag-sakit ang ulo sa akong mother, iya hinuon iparok sa wall iya ulo...usa pud na ka reason nganong among gi-uli si mother..

Pero advice nako, get your father diagnosed, have a prescription and take of him sa balay...pangita lang ug tigbantay...if wala kay money duol lang ug PCSO mo-help raman na sila...

[jgore]

TS I dont know if this will help but I believe the everything kay naa jud nay rason. Like ngano ato imong papa, unsay iyang kaagi. Have you tried ubanan imong papa sa iyang mga tagay para magkastorya mo. Kita man gud mga Pinoy hilig kaayo tag luom, kanang magpina-okey bsag naay problema. Dile sa ta open for communications, like maulaw ta kay murag cheezzy ra kaayo.

Suwayi daw TS ug storya sa imong papa like an open forum. Pwede mo maka-apil anang mga Family Healing session. I think kaning gisinati sa imong papa karun mao ni iyang mahimong turning point. Ikaw rasad nag-ingun na wala sad mo niya pasagdi as amahan. Try to talk things out bahalag maghinilakay mog pabuhagay sa inyong kasakit. Trust me after that mugaan na inyong paminaw. I hope ma-okey mo ug imong papa, kanang dumot TS wala jud nay maayo nga matabang nimo. Try to think of something good that your father did to help you decide. But again we respect whatever your decision will be.