Need your words of wisdom about insanity

[gibra'al]

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@Ivan James

funny how we both are in similar condition and yet we differ sa pag approach nya. it's a matter of perspective lang guro ni tingali, i guess? in my case, it was my mother whom i had issues with. the most harsh word i could describe her is that she's a mediocre. inexpressive pud to cya. like a dog who lives on someone's bidding. countless times in the past i provoke her on purpose just to slap me hard in the face for disrespecting her; it was my way of testing her kung taw pa ba siya. but she didn't, and i gave up. it took me a lot of time to understand her, i had to backtrack her history... revealing mine as well. i admit, it was one of the factors that contributed to my depression. i'm clinically diagnosed with it and does still struggle until now ana nya.

mao guro ning antagonistic/aggressive pd kay ko by nature. coping mechanism. i lived my life with hatred etched to my chest for many years. d pud ko kaabot ani kung dili tungod nya. it was my main drive, my motivation. without it, hagbay ra ko namatay. it was the only thing that kept me going. a once carefree child has now evolved into a chameleon. halos tanan lihok nako, kalkulado. even my ex compared me to an onion. not because dali ko muhilak, but tungod kay daghan kuno kog layers. lots of layers. i had to flick him away ky my emotions are meddling with my plans.

anyway, back to my mother. despite sa iyang pagka naive, i do laud her selflessness and endless support. mao nang karon kasabot nako nya for who she is; a living reminder sa akong reality nga i just have to accept things nga wa koy control. there are ugly truths in life nga wa tay mabuhat but tunlon sila. tbh, it did hurt baya when my mother told me nga mas deserving daw ko ug better mom. i guess i still hv my soft side, after all. mao nang i feel obliged to be strong for her always ky kung puro me huyang, asa nlng mi puniton? besides, all my plans aren't really for myself. i even reached to a point nga i hv to force her to disown me and put her focus sa akong manghud instead. she's very aware nga i'm setting myself into a trainwreck. but i don't mind if i hv to play the ugly role, ako lng is ma tarong ila pagka himutang kuyog sa akong younger bro.

[jntio]

naa naman na ts padayon nalang sa kinabuhi

[Walking KB]

Ts-ako ra ning nabasahan ha.basaha.

"Most people are worrying about their own plans and aren’t looking out for the interests of others. Most people don’t get up in the morning and give their first thought to how someone else is doing. Most people are concerned with their own problems. And, that’s why most people are unhappy with their lives!

If you want to be one of those rare, unselfish people, you’ve got to change your focus. You have to shift your focus away from yourself to other people. That’s not something that comes naturally, so it’s something you have to learn to do."

Imo na gani nang parents ha.

“Don’t be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand.” (Philippians 2:4 MSG)

[zmoktyok]

Dear TS,

"Life is always unfair, just expect the worst but and the end it deserve its purpose"

[bula1980]

Maswerte pa rin kayo may nakilala kayong ama.

OnT: i know how hard it is for you. Nakikita ko ang struggles mo, alam ko nahihirapan ka na, masyado ka ng stressed,pagod ka na but please it is not the time to give up. You are strong, i know that. Just hold on, matatapos din ang lahat. Andyan na lahat ng mga advises at words of wisdom, nasabi na nila halos lahat but if you still needs kausap, you know how to reach me.

[SioDenz]

Mau ni akong mga conflicts krn:
1. I know in then end papa ghapn nko xa and untang kabubuton as anak nga to help them HOWEVER that does not mean nga mag salig cla nga naa cla anak mka atiman nila. Unsa nmn diay pud akong mga plano sa kinabuhi?

2. Mahal ang treatment and naglisud na gani mi.

3. Why should i always carry the burden nga as a son i have done what they expected me to do. Ni tabang na gani ko nila without even sparing extra for my future, wala koy bisyo, wala ko nag pabadlong sa ila as anak, wala koy hagbong sa klase ug uban pa. Why should i always have to do everything nga bati na gani amo relationship as father and son


I hope with this, i can get insights sa inyu mga istoryans

In the END its all about you. Whatever you will DO now You will Reflect it one day when your OLD and You will ask this Question - WHAT are the Things and Decisions i did last time?was it Good or Bad? DID i made the Right Choice. Remember We cannot UNDO what we will DO NOW so better think.

But I believe DOING what a GOOD Son would to his Parents no matter what WILL NOT give you ANY REGRETS when you Get OLD.

[burgersteak]

Hi! ako papa since nagkabuot ko, ako papa is alcoholic(like 3 to 5 bottles of tanduay a day). Naa tanan gikan sa verbal abuse, physical abuse sa ako mama og sa akoa, financial abuse and all others na inyu ma think about sa pamilya nga amahan kay palahubog. 5 mi ka mag igsuon then ako ang kinamagulangan.

Ako papa hinuon wala mag kulang og kaiskwela namu og iyaha pud gibuhat iyaha part as padre de pamilya. Nag dako mi tanan nga ing.ana amu life and to the point nga pirmi bati amu mahuna2x niya.

Lately ni avail og early retirement ako papa without any back up what to do after. Dili mi arangan nga family (mostly gi blame nko nya why) and lisud og igo ra jud mka finance aa amu everyday expenses.

Lately (probabbly due to lots of factors e.g depression) nagpakita nag sign of delirium and delusions ako papa to the point nga naa na xa mga imaginary friends and basically on the verge of losing his sanity.

I know what really happens to him and i know what to do BUT there is something hinders me not to help him at all because of my past experiences.

Mau ni akong mga conflicts krn:
1. I know in then end papa ghapn nko xa and untang kabubuton as anak nga to help them HOWEVER that does not mean nga mag salig cla nga naa cla anak mka atiman nila. Unsa nmn diay pud akong mga plano sa kinabuhi?

2. Mahal ang treatment and naglisud na gani mi.

3. Why should i always carry the burden nga as a son i have done what they expected me to do. Ni tabang na gani ko nila without even sparing extra for my future, wala koy bisyo, wala ko nag pabadlong sa ila as anak, wala koy hagbong sa klase ug uban pa. Why should i always have to do everything nga bati na gani amo relationship as father and son


I hope with this, i can get insights sa inyu mga istoryans

Ipacheck-up na imo papa TS. Naay free nga check-up sa Fuente to. Atleast ba makahibaw mo unsa buhaton ninyo sunod. Tabange imo papa like what you said he's your father after all. If dle nmu tabangan basin magregret ra niya ka in the end if simbako naay mahitabo niya. Been there done that but sa ako uncle kay wala man koy papa. Hehe

E-set aside sa na imo mga personal plans as of the moment, unaha sa na imo papa. Like me, ako man sad ang breadwinner sa family ako ra man sad gi-set aside akong mga plano for myself kay unahon man nko akong family. Willing man sad nko e-sacrifice akong mga kalipay para nila. Dle man sad gud ko malipay kung dle pud sila happy.

Yes kapoyan sad ko usahay nga ako nalang tanan ba usahay e-blame nko ako mama ngano na ingon ani mi but ako ra man katolgan nig mata nko ma-okay naman ko

It will come a time ma okay ra na ang tanan TS. Salig lang.

[ondoy]

personal choice rna nmo TS pwede ra o dili

[emow]

you should start with yourself. invest in yourself first. If you help others first, where would you get the resources? I do not subscribe to the idea of selflessness, its a meaningless word faced with reality. It's a romanticized suggestion from people who have no useful advice to give. Just imagine giving eveything to others first because they depended on you, and then one day, you get bad luck and lose the ability to earn. what then? now all of you are in the bottom. and the blame will still be there inspite of past sacrifices, "if only you were more careful...if only..etc..." If you cannot satisfy to invest in yourself enough to move forward in life, you have no capacity to really help anyone else. People need to shake off this martyr mentality, its doing more harm to the people you are trying to support. it makes them parasites, knowing you will always be there. As for your dad, yes you need to help him, but not necessarily sacrificing your future.

[lester_j]

As evident sa mga replies sa imong post TS, you are not alone, daghan mga tao nga more or less in the same situation sa imo, me included. However, that doesn't lessen your dilemma or your suffering and how bad you feel about it. You can try your best to help but don't give your everything to it esp not your future. You're not getting any younger. Most opportunities are available when you are young, in your prime and full of potential. Set a small portion of your savings for yourself. Like what emow said, invest in yourself first and you'll be in a better position to help others. Just like in an airplane emergency, you're supposed to put on your oxygen mask first before helping others put on theirs.
If you continue this self sacrificing act, ikaw ra gihapon mu expire in the end, and you'll feel bitterness and resentment. You are one of the unfortunate victims of a bad circumstance that are consequences of bad choices made by people around you. The universe it not punishing you, it's just the way life is.

Children shouldn't be born to this world with the sole purpose of being a parent's retirement plan. You have your own goals, dreams and purpose to make for yourself, not just as a milking cow for others.

This might be an unpopular opinion but I'm gonna say it anyway — it's okay to be selfish.