Originally Posted by
therese_
This is my life story. I will be warning you guys nga murag taas gyud ni sya but please do leave comments about what should I do with my life. I'm a single mother and I really need a lot of advice. Akoa e share akong life first before ko na single mother.
I was 5 years old when my parents separated. I have 2 other siblings and ako ang youngest child. Akong oldest sister kay ga skwela sa syudad while ako ug akong usa ka ate nabilin under the care of my maternal grandparents. A year after separation, my mom decided to work overseas to support our financial needs since di sya gusto mag depend mi sa akong papa. Sa probinsya ra gyud mi duha sa akong usa ka ate nya makakita ra mi sa among eldest sister every summer. Nagdako ko nga suod kaayo mi sa akong lolo, nga siya na gyud akong gi ila nga papa. But of course kahibaw ko nga akong papa gi biyaan mi. Nag skwela kog elementary nga akong lola og lolo ang mo attend og meetings sa school, family day og getting of cards. Back then, I was never interested about seeing my papa again kay I've seen how hurt my mama was.
When I was in second year high school, our eldest sibling got pregnant and she has to come back sa province to stay. She's hasn't graduated college that time yet and gi panindigan sad jud hinuon sa lalaki ang iyang responsibility. Mao sad na ang time nga ni uli akong mama after more than 5 years abroad tungod sa nahitabo ni ate. A few years later, nag move nami sa city. We rented a house then we bought that house a few years after renting since the owner will migrate abroad. My life continued there, nag college ko. I took up accountancy at this very prominent university and then after 2 years ni shift ko og Political Science.
That year naa pa koy boyfriend and he was 2 years younger than me. Padung nami mag 1 year adto nga guy when suddenly he cheated. Few weeks prior to our breakup, I met this guy. Same ra sad mi og school but he is 2 years older than me. Graduating sya that time and ako, 2nd year pa lang sa pol sci. His friends became my friends, and na affiliate ko sa ilahang dance group. He became my boyfriend a year after we met.
He was a very good boyfriend. Ingon sila, boyfriend material. Yes, he would fetch me to school right after class and right after his work. Sometimes, ako mag huwat and sometimes siya. I live far north and he lives down south but nevertheless, he makes sure I would always go home safe. Dili ni sya ingon ani kadtong ka dance group pa mi. After I graduated college, he helped me find a good job. Actually same mi og job but different companies. Nothing really changed, he would still pick me up from work since office hours would end at 5:30. We would eat dinner occasionally and would still meet with our college friends. He met my family long before we were a couple and he was aware of our family status. His family has always been dear to me, as well. He would sometimes spend Sunday lunch with us and I would sometimes spend movie night outs with his family and they would drop me home.
One time, my biological father tried to reach out to me. He wants to spend time with me, he wants to meet the person I become. My sisters shun him down. I told my boyfriend about my father trying to reach out and he said I should grab the opportunity. And I did. I was reunited with my father after more than 15 years of not seeing each other. I also introduced my boyfriend to my father. My father remarried a young woman at her late 20s and they have a son together. That ended well to the point where my dad asked me if I could stay with them for a couple weeks. That stay turned into months and oftentimes, would be the reason why my boyfriend and I would fight. After nearly a year, I left their nest and continued with my life. Boyfriend and I were still going strong, I went back to live at my family's house and I told them everything about papa and his new wife and their child.
A few months later, I found out that I was pregnant. I was filled with emotions, mixed emotions. Happy, because I've always wanted children and my boyfriend and I used to talk about having kids together. At the same time, I was afraid about what my boyfriend might think. I was afraid about what my grandmother might say since this child is made out of wedlock. I told my boyfriend about the news and he was really excited. First, we told his family and they were excited too. Then he had to face my family and they were also happy. What else could be more perfect, right?
So we plan to live together and get married after our baby is born. We lived in an apartment not far from my work place. He would still fetch me at work and we'd commute going home. I was already 4 months pregnant when he started to change. He would always leave for work early and would fail to show up during my checkups. My OB-Gyne suggested that I should stay at home since my pregnancy is delicate. So I had to have a maternal leave for 7 months. A month later, he told me that he's going abroad. He got the job he worked hard for and he wanted to leave. I've always wanted him to pursue his dreams, I've always wanted him to do his best in everything. We never talked that much after he told me about his plans abroad. I was only informed 5 days before his flight to Australia that he's leaving. I couldn't afford the apartment so I had to move back home. We have no communication that time. No texts, no calls, no nothing. I never tried to reach out to his family because I don't want them to bother or to take responsibility for me and my child. Then I gave birth to a healthy baby boy.
5 years later, I was already working at a call center company. I was living with my 5 year old boy in a studio type apartment. Somehow the presence of my child makes me forget about the pain his father gave me when he left us. Nag skwela na akong anak sa day care center. Kadtong bata pa ko, I promised myself nga akong anak mo uli gyud sa balay sa kumpleto ang mga tao. Naay mama og papa. But then I failed to give him that. Pero wala ko ga kulang og hatag sa tanang kinahanglan sa akong anak. Akong duty sa call center is 9:00pm-6:00am and off nako is weekends. Kuhaon nako sya sa school pag human sa class around 5:00pm, mag luto ko og panihapon then mag assignment ug akong patulgon akong anak before 9:00pm nako nga duty. Naa sad mag bantay niya nga silingan namo, hatagan lang nakog kwarta weekly. Maayo and kasaligan ra sad.
Usually, mo visit ko sa balay sa akong mom og grandparents weekly but then akong maabtan didto is balik balik nga kasaba. Wala ra daw gamit akong college, way gamit ang diploma kay wa nako gamita. Though I know it's my mistake, but maka irrit ra sad kung everytime mo visit ka mao ra imohang ma dunggan. Pero never jud nako gi keep away akong anak nila. One time, it was my mom's 56th birthday and nagplan mi sa akong ate nga mag get together gamay. Kaon lang gamay at home. Didto mi nag stay sa akong anak sa weekend, nag play akong anak og iyang cousin. The next day, nag grocery mi sa akong anak para sa among hikayon sa birthday ni mama. While lining up sa counter, a saw a familiar face. Very familiar face. Ni continue ra ko og line sa counter when suddenly, the familiar face kay ni line sad sa akong likod. Akong anak niabot nagdala og biscuit. Mi ingon akong anak, "Ma, paliti ko ani!" and I said yes. Ning smile ko sa girl nga naa sa akong likod, kadtong familiar face and ni mention sya sa akong ngan.
Girl: Rese?
Me: Yes?
Girl: Kaila pa ka nako? ***** ni oi!
Me: Hala ikaw diay na! Bantog ra familiar kaayo!
Girl: Mao na ni si... ?
Me: Gab. 5 years old na sya
Turns out that the familiar face is the sister of my boyfriend! Nakig ilaila sya ni Gab and she took a photo of him. She even complimented unsa ka carbon copy si Gab sa iyang daddy.
Girl: Mo uli raba si Kuya in a week! After almost 5 years nga ni work siya. Kahibaw ba siya about ni Gab?
Me: Wala raba. Pero kung ganahan sya maka ila ni Gab, why not? After all, anak man gihapon na niya si Gab.
We exchanged phone numbers and went on our separate ways. Akong gi ingnan si Gab about the familiar face, I told him with all honesty nga tita unta to niya. Sister to sa iyahang dad and I told him to be open if ever makig kita iyang dad niya. But if dili, then wala sad si Gab mag expect. 3 days later, gi invite mi sa sister sa dad ni Gab nga mag dinner sa isa ka bbq restaurant. I brought Gab along. He was reunited with his lola, lolo and his aunts and uncle. First time ko kita ni Gab nga happy, smiling, talkative simply because wala man sad syay ka storya sa balay kungdi ako or kadtong silingan namo. His family asked me ngano wala ko ni contact nila kadtong nanganak ko, nganong wala ko nangayog tabang or anything financial for Gab and I told the nga wala gyud silay responsibility sa akong anak.
After about a week, padung nako mag hatod ni Gab sa school when I got a phone call from an unknown number. Wala pa nako gi tubag ang call since busy jud ko nag ilis ni Gab and ga andam sa iyahang snacks and lunch. After ko nag hatod ni Gab sa school, niabot nako sa balay and nag check ko sa akong phone. Mo tawag unta ko sa unregistered number but then wala naman ni contact balik or ni text so I thought basin na butt dial ra. A few minutes later, naka tulog ko. Around 4pm, I woke up with 3 missed calls from the same number nga ni tawag pag morning, so ni tawag kog balik kay I assume na basin emergency. The other line answered. A voice of a man, a very familiar monotonous voice from a man
Guy: Hi, is this Therese?
Me: Speaking
Guy: Do you remember me?
Me: Sorry, kanang unregistered raba imong phone number.
Guy: Oh, ok ra if makig lunch ko nimo tomorrow with Gab?
Then akong gi hung ang phone call. I realized it was Renz (not his real name, for privacy purposes)
He is back from Australia. He constantly texts me and asks me where I live or he wants to meet his son. After a few texts, I agreed to let him meet Gab and akong only wish kay sila ra ni Gab mag bonding. No one else but the both of them. He was fine with it. That weekend, I told Gab that he will finally meet his dad and Gab is very excited. A normal reaction of a child, longing for his father. After 2 days, he invited me over for dinner with his family kay iyaha nang e return si Gab since class na. Pag dinner, it was quite awkward. I was bombarded with questions about asa ko nanganak, asa ko nag work, asa nag skwela si Gab and if naa pa ko commu sa akong family. That night, gi hatod mi nila ni Gab and my son enjoyed his stay there. The next weekend, Renz invited Gab over again and Gab was very giddy. He invited me to dinner as well, with only him and Gab. Gab is too young to understand adults talking so ok ra to nga nag discuss mi about why he left me, why he didn't even try to communicate with me. He was sorry for everything, for all his mistakes.
And his reason? Afraid sya ma daddy nga dili pa stable. Afraid sya masayop. He had the choice to stay but he choose to go and get away with his responsibility. He told me nga he is back for a year and mo balik ra sya sa Australia and he wants to make up with everyday especially with Gab. Wala na sad ko ga expect nga ma ok mi ni Renz. He has a Bicolana girlfriend who is also with him in Australia. So I moved on with my life.
Continue si Gab og school, pirme gihapon sya tig adtoan sa family ni Renz if inviton sya. Usually si Renz mo uli twice a year and he will never forget to bring stuff for Gab, tig padala na sya og money para sa tuition ni Gab, school needs ni Gab, food bisag sa electricity og water. Tunga sad mi og pay sa new apartment nga among gi puy'an ni Gab. 3rd grade na si Gab when Renz came home, he surprised Gab at the middle of the night. Pirte sad tawn hug ni Gab sa iyang daddy. Ingon siya he's back for good. Nag work siya sa sister company sa iyang gi trabahoan sa Australia and naa sad syay business gamay diri sa pinas. Nag puyo sya still with his family and this year lang, we've been spending time together. He asked me if ok ra magbalik me but I refused. Then he asked again for wala pa ko ni tubag kung unsa gyud.
So unsa kaha ang dapat buhaton ani? Should I take him back?
Thank you so much for reading! Please comment below kung unsa gyud akong dapat buhaton.
what a strong woman you are.. 
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