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  1. #1

    Default In The Beginning


    In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated
    the earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and
    red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and
    healthy lives.

    Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream
    and Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said, "You want chocolate with
    that?" And Man said, "Yes!" and Woman said, "and as long as you're at it,
    add
    some sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.

    And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure
    that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the
    wheat, and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from
    size 6 to size 14.

    So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan presented
    Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the
    side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

    God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil
    in Which to cook them?" And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and
    chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained
    more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.

    God then created a light fluffy white cake and named it "Angel Food
    Cake" And said, "It is good." Satan then created chocolate cake and
    named it "Devil's Food."

    God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose
    those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so
    Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman
    laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and gained pounds.

    Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming
    with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the
    starchy Center into chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained pounds.

    God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and
    still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and its
    99-cent double cheeseburger. Then Satan said, "You want fries with
    that?" And Man replied, "Yes,! And super size them!" And Satan said,
    "It is good." And Man went into cardiac arrest.

    God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.
    Then Satan created HMOs.

    Thought for the day ....
    There is more money being spent on breast implants and ****** today
    than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be
    a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and
    absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

  2. #2

    Default In The Beginning

    ^

  3. #3

    Default Re: In The Beginning

    Quote Originally Posted by jamescebu
    Thought for the day ....
    There is more money being spent on breast implants and ****** today
    than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be
    a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and
    absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.
    Funny ha.

  4. #4
    Quote Originally Posted by jamescebu View Post
    In the beginning, God created the Heavens and
    Thought for the day ....
    There is more money being spent on breast implants and ****** today
    than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be
    a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and
    absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.
    so true! we are too concerned with our own image that we tend to forget about the more important matters in this world.

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