Troubled young wife

[MRS.TROUBLED]

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I created this account para mapagawas akong gebati. I need some serious advice, Istoryans. Here is my story:


I met my husband when I was 14 years old, he was 22. We started as friends, then he courted me after a couple of weeks. We dated shortly right after, but it was nothing serious. I initially had a crush on him so I felt really happy. Things seem to be working for the two of us despite the age gap. I got pregnant when I was 17 so I had to quit College. He never left me, though my family was furious and said hurtful things about him, I loved him even more. He supported me all through out my pregnancy and had been a very loving dad when I gave birth to our child. He worked hard to support us, though he wasn't able to finish his college education, he managed to get a decent job. I fell for him harder, coz I realized how responsible he was. I didn't want him to single handedly provide for our child's needs, so I started working 8 months after giving birth.


So here's what I found out after 8 months of being locked at home, there is a whole new world for me out there! New friends, opportunities, people, parties, booze and a lot of different things. Things that I didn't enjoy or experience my entire life. Yes, I went to USC. I've got plenty of rich classmates who care less of their education and were always talking about how their Friday nights went at Vudu, but I couldn't relate to them. My college life was nothing more than "house-school" and vice versa. So when I started earning, I realized there are so many things I want to explore. But, there's a big but! I wanted to be a good parent and a good girlfriend and I don't think going out drinking with friends will make me one! I decided I should control myself and just enjoy my boyfriend's company. We lived together in a small apartment, since then, my life was "work-apartment" and vice versa.


When I turned 20, we got married. Yeay!


My daughter and I along with her Nanny moved to my husband's house in the province. We left our jobs in the city and looked for a home-based job. We were getting by everyday, we had a simple life. Now, we've been married for almost 3 years and overall I can say that our married life was/is okay. Just okay. You know, I love him, he loves me, simple! But everytime I go online and check on my facebook, all I see are my friends pictures on my news feed. Pictures of them travelling, partying, playing around, things that I missed to enjoy. I don't tell anyone about it, but I envy them.


So here's the part where I need your advice:


My husband is 31 and I am 23, we have 2 kids and both of us have well paying jobs. Before I met my husband, he had plenty of girlfriends and he went to bed with most of them, he smokes, drinks hard like all night, he basically enjoyed his life. I'm sure you know what I mean. Now, whenever I ask him if we could go out on some drinks, he says NO. Whenever we plan on a vacation something comes up preventing it from happening. Whenever I tell him I want to buy the latest iPhone, he says "why do you want an expensive phone?" like hey! I can afford it. He seem to have lost all the fun in his system and I'm tired of being denied.


I LOVE HIM, BUT I'M STARTING TO GET BORED. HELP! WHAT SHOULD I DO?

[rab.morga]

Wala nimo na optimize ang imong pagka bata/single, TS?

Tell him that he's being unfair. Or if okay ra nimo, try going out with him and his friends.

[iwantmyboyfriend]

mao giud na gi ingon sa imong ginikanan TS na dli unta ka mag minyo ug sayo. Unsaon ta man nahitabo naman na.
In my opinion TS, ang dapat giud nimo atupagon kay ang imong family. mao man unta na ang game over sa tanan. pero to think baya TS na dli baya kaayo tiguwang imong bf pag meet ninyo. 22 siya and you were 14 at that time. although there is a big age gap, both are young pa giud. so since ni 22 siya na pul-an na siya sa iyang pagka bata? That might be too young for the pul-an stage.

Or basin focus lang jud siya sa family. I tell you TS lisod kaayo mangita ug ingon ana na laki. Pasalamat giud ka dapat. ug mahimo na ma supress nimo ang pagka mingaw ts, pls supress it until your kids are old enough. When they are, basin diha naka pwede mu bawi sa kiat2x na imong na miss.

basta everyone's goal is to have a happy family and a faithful spouse. if you have it, try your best to keep it that way. Otherwise, if imong i risk imong family for your own happiness, you might lose it. but who knows.. it might be worth it?

Just make sure to think things through before involving yourself. karon raka ka realize na d pa diay unta ka ready ana na life baya. so just make sure to avoid ingon ana na thinking

ayaw lang pd kaayo ka guol TS.. many 30 or 40 year olds feel the same way even if naka party party na sila all their life. haha.

we all get to that point in life cguro.. na yufak na tanan.. gusto nalang ka mag sigeg kiat.. pero we should know our limits as well

All the best!

[trinalla]

sometimes we also need to unwind, like go out for vacation with the family have fun together.. but buying things/latest gadget, i also disagree with that..... with your situation nga wala ka mo enjoy sa imong pagkadalaga, lisod jud, ngano sayo man sad kaayo ka ni enter oi, kabata pa nimo. no offense ha, ikaw ang klase sa girl nga in case lang mag buwag mo... mura ka ug kabayo naka buhi sa halwa, party everywhere cguro ka. ma bored na jud ka sa imong life coz you started at a young age, sayo kaayo ka ni serious sa imong life. Para dili ka ma bored.... play and go out with your kids for sure you will be happy Im proud to say that i got married at d age of 31, and i enjoy my single life, laag bisan asa, mag buntag ug inom kuyog mga baraka. disco ug uban pa. i treasure those memories

[MRS.TROUBLED]

Exactly! You know, since wala man nako ma enjoy akong pagka dalaga, gusto unta ko nga mo go out there with him. Pero di man sad siya and usahay, he's giving me that look na kana bitaw wala siya nebalibad pero sa nawng palang daan maka sabot naka nga di sya ganahan. It's not like mulakaw ko nga di siya kuyog, pero wa jud syay gana.

Wala nimo na optimize ang imong pagka bata/single, TS?

Tell him that he's being unfair. Or if okay ra nimo, try going out with him and his friends.

[silentnuker]

since you have kids already...you should already be concerned with their own welfare too, not just your own. if you think life is unfair, yes...indeed it is.

try to spice up your relationship with your husband too...there's nothing wrong with going out with friends.

[MRS.TROUBLED]

Salamat sa imong sincere nga response. I just want to say nga I'm not looking forward na mag kiat2. I'm just saying na since wa man ko ka experience ug mga ingun-ana nga things when I was still single, gusto unta ko na ubanan ko niya. It'll not be a regular thing man sad. And ofcourse, I wouldn't sacrifice my family for this. I just want to have a lil fun, that's all.

mao giud na gi ingon sa imong ginikanan TS na dli unta ka mag minyo ug sayo. Unsaon ta man nahitabo naman na.
In my opinion TS, ang dapat giud nimo atupagon kay ang imong family. mao man unta na ang game over sa tanan. pero to think baya TS na dli baya kaayo tiguwang imong bf pag meet ninyo. 22 siya and you were 14 at that time. although there is a big age gap, both are young pa giud. so since ni 22 siya na pul-an na siya sa iyang pagka bata? That might be too young for the pul-an stage.

Or basin focus lang jud siya sa family. I tell you TS lisod kaayo mangita ug ingon ana na laki. Pasalamat giud ka dapat. ug mahimo na ma supress nimo ang pagka mingaw ts, pls supress it until your kids are old enough. When they are, basin diha naka pwede mu bawi sa kiat2x na imong na miss.

basta everyone's goal is to have a happy family and a faithful spouse. if you have it, try your best to keep it that way. Otherwise, if imong i risk imong family for your own happiness, you might lose it. but who knows.. it might be worth it?

Just make sure to think things through before involving yourself. karon raka ka realize na d pa diay unta ka ready ana na life baya. so just make sure to avoid ingon ana na thinking

ayaw lang pd kaayo ka guol TS.. many 30 or 40 year olds feel the same way even if naka party party na sila all their life. haha.

we all get to that point in life cguro.. na yufak na tanan.. gusto nalang ka mag sigeg kiat.. pero we should know our limits as well

All the best!

[MRS.TROUBLED]

Oh, good for you. Anyway, all I'm asking is jut to have a little fun. Not a regular thing and I want to do it with my husband around. Also, I've been working for my family since 18, do you think its too much for me to buy what I want? Di man ko hilig ug mahalon nga sinina, bags, ug unsa pa diha.. Naa man sad koy trabaho and I can buy it bisag di pa ko tagaan ug money sa akong husband. Gusto man gud nako nga involved akong husband sa akong mga decision. Also, di ko ing-ana ka kiat para ecompare nimo sa kabayo nga nakagawas sa hawla.. Salamat sa imong tubag..

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since you have kids already...you should already be concerned with their own welfare too, not just your own. if you think life is unfair, yes...indeed it is.

try to spice up your relationship with your husband too...there's nothing wrong with going out with friends.

Hala oi. Just because I want to have a little fun doesn't mean I'm not concerned with my kids. I love them, they're so adorable! And I'm trying to spice up my relationship with him, but its like he's not up to it.

[sammedriano]

Naks. This is the disadvantage on getting yourself involved with an aged person. Though, he isn't literally that old. Yet, your age gap is creating two worlds "Far different" than each other.

A man at age 30 up is a person who thinks more about family and work. While a person at the age like your's and mine (20 - 29) still want to get ourselves to the pleasures of the world.

Talk to him, and be honest. You may be a mother now, but that doesn't and shouldn't deprive you of the joy this life can give. We only have a very limited time here on Earth, and keeping yourself with your work-home schedule is going to burn you out easily.

Go out with him and his friends. He is matured enough and will definitely understand your point. Just don't be too harsh or demanding. Just be polite for he may think you are acting childish. But, seriously, you need to give yourself a break.

The secret to this is calm and proper negotiation. Good luck sis.


P.S: TS, being in a relationship doesn't necessarily mean that you'll have to be tied up. Nakakasakal yan. Give your self some time to breath fresh air and live life's greatest gift - PEACE.

[MRS.TROUBLED]

Thank you! Thank you! But believe me, I tried that. Aware man pud ko sa akong sayop nga nag minyo ko ug sayo, pero love man gud nako siya. Wa man sad na lessen akong feelings para niya just because he got so KJ, I just don't know how to make him understand nga I need this, I want this. Gusto raman unta ko nga ubanan ko niya together with our friends. Pero napul-an naman jud daw sya ana oi. Well, good for him! I wish I could say that to his face..

Naks. This is the disadvantage on getting yourself involved with an aged person. Though, he isn't literally that old. Yet, your age gap is creating two worlds "Far different" than each other.

A man at age 30 up is a person who thinks more about family and work. While a person at the age like your's and mine (20 - 29) still want to get ourselves to the pleasures of the world.

Talk to him, and be honest. You may be a mother now, but that doesn't and shouldn't deprive you of the joy this life can give. We only have a very limited time here on Earth, and keeping yourself with your work-home schedule is going to burn you out easily.

Go out with him and his friends. He is matured enough and will definitely understand your point. Just don't be too harsh or demanding. Just be polite for he may think you are acting childish. But, seriously, you need to give yourself a break.

The secret to this is calm and proper negotiation. Good luck sis.