Past issues - Big NO to talk over and over again?

[sarge]

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What if you had an issues before (betrayal, infidelity, cheating, etc. etc) and all things are settled and one time, one partner talking the issue again. It's a big NO right? Why talk the past issues when in the first place its already ironed out?

[kitoy]

What if you had an issues before (betrayal, infidelity, cheating, etc. etc) and all things are settled and one time, one partner talking the issue again. It's a big NO right? Why talk the past issues when in the first place its already ironed out?

Murag combo naka ron sarge kay sunod2x imong mga post. Ay if wala gyud ngkat-on sa lesson, same japon ang issue, then akong balikon hangtod mosulod sa ulo.

[jedophiledotph]

Hapakon, patiran, kumoton buhok, sagpa.on. Inig kahuman Kissan sa agtang.

[SmartAssChic]

definitely.. but it's hard especially for girls to get over those issues because they replay over and over. the reason for that is they haven't really accepted what has happened. never forgot it.

[sarge]

how about the forgive and forget? storya ra diay na taman f balik2 gihapon, right?

[quirkychinita]

I got two answers for this... Just being neutral...

If he's not yet over the issue yet or he's not in the mood (RULE OF THE THUMB: Do NOT fight fire with fire... remember, an EYE for an EYE and the world goes BLIND!), sometimes, silence is the best answer... If the person's not that open minded and you know it, do NOT open up things like these up if you don't want to start a fight... Basically, don't bring the past issues, most men don't like talking about it...

However, my dad's different... He's okay with that and he even use the past issues to lure my mom into preparing his favorite food...

Here's how he does it and how I think would be a reason why bring it up...

Always say it nicely and smile as you speak. Use you're charm!
Use the past issues to apologize again and tell that person that you were wrong (do NOT put the blame on them!) and make them know that everything he/she said when you were fighting was heard and that tell them what you can do to NOT make it happen again... maybe you shouldn't promise if you can't do it but at least make them feel that you're trying.Tell him/her how you felt at that time and why you've said/done such. But then after saying so, make them feel and know that you're sorry and that you were wrong and you learned your lesson... Followed by a kiss... or hug....

Usually, the person na naingnan ani would be flattered (although naay uban mudako ang ulo usahay) but then nothing could ever beat the feeling of seeing your partner flattered and glad and listened to and valued... It feels really good to say sorry to that person and see them appreciate what you've done... This is how my mom learn her "mistakes" (she nags actually, but she learns not to) the flattering way....

But again, this is not applicable for shallow minded people...



Good Vibes!!!

(Dang! MY dad's such a good lover! Hahahaha!)

[yandz]

What is d0ne is d0ne!=)

[sarge]

very well said quirkychinita!!

[quirkychinita]

very well said quirkychinita!!

Thank you!

Im passing on the compliment to my DADDY!

He taught me most things I knew.. heheheh!

[iring_blue]

if one is keep on going back with that issue..meaning naa pa cya'y hang-ups atoh.. u must really talk about it.