What to do about a daughter who has been doing NOTHING since graduating from college?

[ilovedogs]

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@TS i did exactly the same paggraduate nko, may gani wla ko giconfront sa akong papa, murag wla pako nibreach sa iyang limit ato nga time. pro dili mn pud to dugay kaau ingon ato ko. siguro mga 5 months, kay wla koy gana mangita ug work, ngenjoy lng ko nga wla na klase. but what made me look for a job are my dogs kay nasakt ako doggy one time, wla mn ko pangvet, mao to niapply kog work may gani nadawat and since then ngtrabaho na gyud ko, been to 3 companies na. hehe

ayw lng siguro ipressure kay bacn gnahan pa na magchillax, pro hinay hinaya lng ug sulti pud kay bacn maparehas na sa akong auntie nga unsa patong tuiga (around 2000 mn guro to) nigrad ug nursing unya nkapasar na sa board pero hangtud karn wa gyud nkawork. kay gitapulan namn xa, unya daku na daw xa edad!

[sui.caedere]

sis, i think shes more of a mirror of yourself, more of like a negative core.

instead be proud niya kay naa cyay na achieve like her studies, get to socialize with her by motivating her and be positive always. one good activity is going to church together or doing the groceries/household chores/gardening/etc...be her friend rather than be her mother.

let her be if she doesnt look for a job...if she sleeps off time, try to get her to do things she can managed by herself like go to veco and pay the bill(errands), pldt(intenet)...divert her mind from sleeping/internet time and stop dictating her about a job/production. in short just continue to love her as she is, and everything else will follow.

Good luck sis, hope this can help.

yes, we tried to send her for errands like paying bills but she refused kay samokan sa daghan tawo, labi na kana taas kaayo ug linya.

dictating her? NO, i am not even talking to her anymore.

[sui.caedere]

she's 22 years old, 2 years tambay, tapolan walay lain buhat kundi kaon-katulog-internet ra jud! Parehas jud mi sa imu daughter maam. Ingun ani ko before, ni abut ra ang time nga naniguro ko pangita ug work kay tungod ako na mismo naulaw sa ako kaugalingon nga kumbaga INUTIL...My friends, my sisters, cousins tanan tao nakapalibut nako naay nay career gitahak..mao to murag na jealous ko nga sila makapalit ug makapatuyang sa ilang gusto kay may sweldo naman while ako mangayu pa sa ginikanan..ako parents makasuporta nako all the way, pero like what i've said muabot ra jud ang time nga iya na mismo kaugalingon ang mangita ug work...

maayo ka pa.

in her case, she does not see herself. if mag earthquake tonight ug intensity 100 den mag tsunami, she wont even care. that is the kind of attitude that broke me.

[sui.caedere]

There really is something psychologically wrong with her. She isn't normal, more like a robot to me and it's annoying. Imagine two lame, unproductive years, isn't that a waste of her talent, skill and her life in general? But I guess it goes back to how she was brought up.

It seems to me that you are distant with your daughter, where you with her during her formative years? If not, did you ask her father or those that brought her up if this is normal to her? This should be a cause of alarm. Someone should shake her up from bed 'coz its bloating her into oblivion. Obviously she's depressed, unmotivated and socially traumatized. She's smart, pretty, I bet she's talented too. Don't let her waste her life even further. Sayang.Get someone who she confides herself to (your husband, sibling, close friend perhaps) and let him/her ask your daughter why she is like that. If zero or non-existent gyud ang suod niya, then it's time to pick-up the phone and get a psychologist. She needs help ASAP.

I have no idea who she confides with, except perhaps her pillows. She does not talk to me nor to her mother. She is an island by herself.

I do not have resources to afford a psychologist. Thanks for the suggestion.

BTW, no, I was not here during her formative years.

[sui.caedere]

whew..i was reading the whole thread and TS, i can feel how tired you are of her to the point of your avatar. I guess you need support from your family, relatives and her friends. Ask your relatives to visit your house more often. Does she have any favorite niece/nephews? Have her friends invite her to go out. And importantly, talk to her everyday with a POSITIVE aura. Watch movies with her and go to church with her on Sundays as a family. Lift her up to God.

Pray TS if you don't know what to do. God is always the answer, not your avatar.

Are all prayers answered? Why do I feel that mine are not?

[sui.caedere]

honestly, i am actually beginning to hate myself for all my failures.

[hamtaro.jan]

Unsay course sa imo anak mam?

[emow]

honestly, i am actually beginning to hate myself for all my failures.

ayaw lang kaau ka goul ana sir...mahalin ra na imu anak, d sad kelangan ngita work... lol bitaw, seriously, waka kahibaw, member sad diay nag istorya.net...hahaha... ayaw lang gyud ipressure.... it will not get you anywhere with her gyud.... i'm betting she'll eventually move forward with her life on her own....

[kayi101]

i went through this after i graduated. i was a bum for a year. wala jud koy gana mu apply because wala ko kibaw asa ko mu apply. ni abot rajud ang time na masuya ko sa akong friends na busy sila then ako kay free rako anytime. i had no money, naa koy ganahan paliton but dili ko ka buy. dili sad ko ka laag kay wala koy pang gasto and mauwaw ko mu ask sa akong mama. til ni abot jud ko sa point na dili nako ganahan ma bum, mao to ni apply ko and nadawat man sad ko hehe.

i think sir, nag libog pa imung daughter. maybe naa siyay ganahan buhaton but nag libog or naglisud siya unsaon. let her choose whicg path she wants to go but with your guidance of course. ayaw lang sad kasab-i coz maybe frustrated na siya daan then samot pajud.

[cebugdev]

time to be hard on her kay knd madala ug inday-indayon;
- ayaw tagai ug kwarta kng mangayu
- ayaw bayri ang internet bills or iaputol ang internet connection nnyu!
- gamay ra ibilin na pagkaon during lunch while nagtrabaho mo, ayaw binli para snacks..
-ayaw iapil iyang mga sinina sa laba..
kani effective ni kay ni work sa sister sa akng igso(godbrother)
- go out of town mo ibilin cya, ayaw binli ug kwarta or gamay lang ang ibilin..