What to do about a daughter who has been doing NOTHING since graduating from college?

[unique]

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sis, i think shes more of a mirror of yourself, more of like a negative core.

instead be proud niya kay naa cyay na achieve like her studies, get to socialize with her by motivating her and be positive always. one good activity is going to church together or doing the groceries/household chores/gardening/etc...be her friend rather than be her mother.

let her be if she doesnt look for a job...if she sleeps off time, try to get her to do things she can managed by herself like go to veco and pay the bill(errands), pldt(intenet)...divert her mind from sleeping/internet time and stop dictating her about a job/production. in short just continue to love her as she is, and everything else will follow.

Good luck sis, hope this can help.

[s3xyp1nk]

dont give her allowance na and don'e buy her stuff

[sugbuana]

sulti sa uban swerte kay wala nag drugs, wala nag kiat, dili mulaag.

PERO, all she does is eat, play on the computer, sleep, eat, play on the computer, sleep, eat, play on the computer, sleep, eat, play on the computer, sleep,dili gani manglaba sa iya clothes, usahay ra mohugas plato.

i am tired of her!

she's 22 years old, 2 years tambay, tapolan walay lain buhat kundi kaon-katulog-internet ra jud! Parehas jud mi sa imu daughter maam. Ingun ani ko before, ni abut ra ang time nga naniguro ko pangita ug work kay tungod ako na mismo naulaw sa ako kaugalingon nga kumbaga INUTIL...My friends, my sisters, cousins tanan tao nakapalibut nako naay nay career gitahak..mao to murag na jealous ko nga sila makapalit ug makapatuyang sa ilang gusto kay may sweldo naman while ako mangayu pa sa ginikanan..ako parents makasuporta nako all the way, pero like what i've said muabot ra jud ang time nga iya na mismo kaugalingon ang mangita ug work...

[dearlabe]

There really is something psychologically wrong with her. She isn't normal, more like a robot to me and it's annoying. Imagine two lame, unproductive years, isn't that a waste of her talent, skill and her life in general? But I guess it goes back to how she was brought up.

It seems to me that you are distant with your daughter, where you with her during her formative years? If not, did you ask her father or those that brought her up if this is normal to her? This should be a cause of alarm. Someone should shake her up from bed 'coz its bloating her into oblivion. Obviously she's depressed, unmotivated and socially traumatized. She's smart, pretty, I bet she's talented too. Don't let her waste her life even further. Sayang.Get someone who she confides herself to (your husband, sibling, close friend perhaps) and let him/her ask your daughter why she is like that. If zero or non-existent gyud ang suod niya, then it's time to pick-up the phone and get a psychologist. She needs help ASAP.

[Osting Bongoton]

mastoryahan mana in other way..

[dearlabe]

mastoryahan mana in other way..

Unsay pasabot nimo sa "other way"? "In other words" HOW?

[anm]

always aceing her exams, but somehow failing her interviews..always.

<---- there's her depression... basig wala niya madawat nga failed cya sa interviews kay bright cya...

[Klave]

Naay term ang Japanese ani...Hikikomori

Hikikomori - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Anyways, yours is a particularly difficult case, in fact I think you weren't there the actual time she needed you. Right now, she may just be a shell of her former self, wasting her life away.
Its not your fault, especially if she was a teenager, teenagers expect everyone to be unable to understand them, when in fact they just want to be tolerated and just be allowed to do what they want to do no matter how reckless and stupid it is.

My solution would be along the lines of.

Hiring a stranger, and let him talk with her for at least an hour a day.
The goal is to find out what killed her (socially), start from somewhere the time when you are sure she was happy then onwards.
The main focus would be while avoiding to be invasive and let her naturally be able to talk about the time, when she was killed.

You wouldn't really be able to start elsewhere except from the time when she stopped.

[emow]

the more you pressure her the more she hides.... having you irritated and persisting her to do what you want just makes your relationship with her even more difficult.... she must be irritated with something...what it is, that's for you to find out.... I think you should send her away like travel or a vacation with a relative, with many kittens perhaps...lol usually visiting other places affects our perception towards life.... don't be too hard on yourself, her situation is not uncommon...

[miaka_cham]

whew..i was reading the whole thread and TS, i can feel how tired you are of her to the point of your avatar. I guess you need support from your family, relatives and her friends. Ask your relatives to visit your house more often. Does she have any favorite niece/nephews? Have her friends invite her to go out. And importantly, talk to her everyday with a POSITIVE aura. Watch movies with her and go to church with her on Sundays as a family. Lift her up to God.

Pray TS if you don't know what to do. God is always the answer, not your avatar.