Ode to Fart
by
, 04-07-2012 at 01:04 AM (3424 Views)
What is it in you that you would not leave us alone? When you could no longer take the atrocities done on your being, you vent yourself up like some active volcano, spewing out odors that pervade our senses.
Is it about what we eat that you often make yourself noticed, like some matinee idol on a movie screen, always flashy with his signature smile? Dieticians should come up with some sort of diet just so you would not make some cameo performance in a leading role.
Why do you make it a habit to appear at the most inopportune time? When we are facing our significant others, when we are making our reports in a meeting, when we are in an enclosed space? When we are in a mall filled with lots of people?
Why are you so spontaneous? No amount of prodding could make you wait for a secluded place apart from the people around. You are not as fast as lightning and as noisy as thunder. You do have your own set of qualities that makes you at par with the rest of your peers -- urine, feces and mucus.
Why are you wraith-like? You are as elusive as the ghost the spirit captors have sweated their butts out to catch. Did any chemist ever name you besides your common name --- spontaneous internal human combustion? Are you even a substance? What are you made of? Has any physicist ever measured the amount (and speed) of your combustion, complete with its radar and scalar quantities?
And why do you make liars of us all? You seem to have your deception advocacy very active with your appearance each time. We always know who to point fingers to when you make your appearance.
Oh fart, when will you leave us alone?